I fucking needed this.
“Looks great, doesn’t it?” George, Jett’s lawyer, asked from behind me.
I turned to see a kind-faced man giving me a gentle smile while he gestured a two-fingered salute. “Kace, good to see you.”
“You too, George,” I replied. I held out my hand for George. He shook it with a strong grasp and then looked at the center, hope reflecting in his eyes.
“I had my doubts about Justice ever coming to fruition, but damn if it doesn’t feel good to see it erected.”
I cringed and shook my head in laughter. “Come on, George, don’t say erected.”
Laughing, he pointed at me and said, “Before you young kids turned that word into something filthy, we used to talk about buildings being erected all over the place. It’s not my fault you all have dirty minds.”
“We’re not in the 1920s anymore, George. It’s time to start living in the present day.”
“Is that why you have a smile on your face today? You’re finally living in the present?”
Caught off-guard for a second, I lowered my head and gave him a quick nod. George didn’t know the details of my past, but given the news of the man dying in the bar spreading, the giant deposit Jett had made to an off-shore bank account, and the cover-up George had had to do, I could imagine George connecting the dots. He wasn’t dumb.
“Something like that,” I said, turning around and facing the center once again.
For some reason, looking at the structure brought me peace, made me forget about the past temporarily, and gave me hope for a new future.
“Do you have the keys?” I asked, holding my hand out to George.
“I do.”
A jingling came from his pocket and he handed them over. The moment the cold metal pressed into my palm, I knew I was going to make the best of the opportunity I’d been given. I was going to try to be the man my parents would have wanted me to be.
I walked toward the building with a renewed sense of life.
The large wooden doors of the community center loomed over me as I worked the keys to find the correct one. We were going to have an electronic security system installed, but that wouldn’t be happening for a little bit since Jett couldn’t make a decision on the one he wanted. The man was more than distracted these days, and it wasn’t from the amount of work on his plate. No, it was because of the gorgeous woman attached to his hip. Couldn’t blame him. I would be distracted too.
With the kind of a squeak only a brand new door could offer, it opened and I was instantly hit by new paint smell wafting off the walls. I was pleased to see the walls had been painted a deep purple, the symbol for justice in New Orleans. Even though the walls were dark, skylights and windows brought in enough light to make the space bright and cheery.
In the center was an admin desk where members would check in, and there was a rather expansive wall next to the desk that was covered in corkboard. It was going to be the “To Do” wall where members could see what was happening during the week. I looked right, where classrooms flanked the hallway, offering space for group exercises, educational opportunities, and a daycare. I knew what the rooms looked like already; there were enough to have different classes going on at the same time. Some had desks, some had mirrors and exercise equipment. They were well-built rooms, but they weren’t the rooms I was looking forward to seeing the most. It was the room to the left I was itching to explore.
“Take your time, George, and look around. I’m going to head this way. Thanks for bringing the keys.”
“Not a problem, Kace,” George replied, leaving it at that.
Excitement prickled the back of my neck as I strolled along the left hallway. Pictures of athletes from the past were framed on the walls in black and white. Those athletes were heroes, people to look up to, role models kids should be following, not someone like me.
Apprehension hit me head-on as I thought about what I was getting myself into. These kids were going to look up to me. They were going to look to me for answers to help them with their troubles, to be their mentor and to be honest. I didn’t think I was ready for that, nor did I know if I ever would be. I was a destroyed and dishonest man, not mentor material.
I stopped short of the room I’d been eagerly waiting to take a look at. This was supposed to be a fresh start for me, but for some damn reason, I couldn’t get over the fact that I wasn’t good enough to do this. I shouldn’t have been granted this opportunity to influence such young lives. What did I really have to give them?
Slowly, I started to step backward. This wasn’t for me. What the hell had I been thinking? Did I really believe I could make a change in someone’s life if I couldn’t make one in my own?
I was about to turn around when I ran into someone behind me.
“Oof,” a male voice rang out. “Watch where you’re going.”
I should have known Jett would be here today, waiting patiently for me to find my room.
“Where do you think you’re going there, butch?” Jett asked, hands on his hips.
“Don’t fucking call me that.” A smile attempted to split my lips.
“Don’t avoid the question.”
Shaking my head, I said, “This isn’t for me.”
“Bullshit,” Jett answered. “Don’t start this crap again. You’re making a change, you’re taking over this center, and you’re going to help the community.”
“Do you really think I’m the perfect citizen to run this place? Kids are going to look up to me. They’re going to compare me to all these other athletes on the walls. What does it say about your community center if you allow some steroid-raging ex-boxer to teach kids how to improve their lives?”
“Because you’re the prime example that second chances happen. Do you realize the kids who will be coming here will be looking for an escape? They’ll need someone like you to show them life isn’t fucking perfect, it isn’t easy, but with perseverance, they can make something of themselves.”
I fell against the wall and slid to the ground, gripping the ends of my hair with my fingers. “The only problem with that, Jett, is I haven’t made something of myself. I’ve sat around, dictating to the girls what to do at the Lafayette Club, but what have I really done?”
“You work your ass off to give money to—”
“Don’t.” I glared at him. “Do not fucking talk about that and make it sound like it’s something of value. That is my job, my responsibility. That is not making something of myself.”
I didn’t choose to give money to the family I’d ruined. It was a duty, to make sure they were taken care of.
Frustration poured out of Jett. He wasn’t very good at hiding it, especially around me. I knew it wasn’t easy for him to understand the way I felt, and I knew he wanted me to move on, but he couldn’t control everything like he wanted to.
“When are you going to stop wallowing in self-pity?”
“Self-pity?” I roared as I stood up and got right in his face. “You think this is self-pity?”
“What else is it? A better man would try to make a positive change rather than mope around like a damn fool, feeling sorry for himself.”
I knew he was egging me on, trying to push my buttons, but I couldn’t help but let it affect me. He knew how to get in my head, and he was doing it on purpose right now.
“I don’t feel sorry for myself,” I gritted out, my hands clenching at my sides. “I know what I did. I destroyed—”
“Hey, guys.” Goldie bounced down the hall with a huge smile on her face, her hair piled on top of her head and a green sundress gracing her petite body. “Whoa, looks like you two are discussing something serious.” Not getting a clue, she cuddled up next to us and rubbed her hands together. “What are we talking about?”
“We are not talking about anything,” I responded, turning away.