“Mr. Colby, what a pleasure.”
The guys backed off as Jett approached. “Vinny, congratulations on the twins. How is Theresa doing?”
“Great, thanks for asking. You should see the size of her tits. Doc says I can’t go at her right now, but shit is she making it hard on me.”
Jett laughed shortly. “Listen to the doc. You don’t want to do any permanent damage.”
“You know I will,” Vinny replied. “I think we’re done here. Are you going to collect the mess?”
“Yeah, unfortunately. Maybe next year, you don’t show up.”
“He pays me too well to let that happen. Sorry, man.”
“I would pay you more not to do it.”
Silence filled the alleyway as I assumed Vinny thought about Jett’s offer. If I hadn’t been in so much pain and my voice might reach them, I would have protested but there was no use.
“You make a compelling offer, Mr. Colby, but I couldn’t do that to Mr. Haywood. I see an empty man inside him, a hurting man. I know what this kind pain can do to him. I know it helps him forget. I don’t want to take that away from him. He needs this.”
Vinny was my kind of people.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe I can convince you another time.”
“Don’t count on it.”
Vinny stepped over me, giving me one last kick to the hip. “Until next year, Mr. Haywood. Take care of yourself.”
Vinny and his nephews retreated, leaving me aching on the ground of New Orleans.
Jett crouched next to me and turned me so he could see my face. “Fucking hell,” he muttered. “Why do you do this, Kace?”
I rolled to my stomach and pressed my hands against the ground to lift myself up. I stayed there on my hands and knees for a bit, trying to catch my breath and watching the blood drip from my face with my one good eye.
Small crimson droplets flooded into a puddle seeping into the cobblestone, soaking the streets with yet another sin that would be washed away later.
I coughed a few times. The feeling of glass shards ripped through my lungs, and I knew they’d broken at least a few of my ribs. It would be a long recovery with no painkillers. I looked forward to it.
“Take me home,” I muttered, allowing Jett to grab my arm and help me up.
“Why, Kace?” he asked again, lifting my arm over his shoulders to help me walk. I had tunnel vision, only able to see a few feet in front of me.
“It’s too much,” I said, coughing again.
“What is?” Jett asked, bringing me around the corner to an idling car. Before Jett helped me into the vehicle, he made me look at him and answer his question.
“The memory, Jett. The memory is too fucking much.”
He understood and helped me into the car, where towels and ice were waiting for me.
I knew my best friend loathed this day. I knew he hated seeing me like this, and I knew he hated the fact that he couldn’t alter my decision-making process on this day.
Jett was a man who strived to save lives. This was one fucking life he wouldn’t be able to save, no matter how hard he tried.
Chapter Twenty Five
My present…
I rolled to my side and looked at the clock just before it started ringing, letting me know it was time to get up. Every last inch of my body burned as I threw the covers off me.
There was a lack of energy in my body and an abundance of pain throbbing down every inch of my frame.
Shower. I needed a hot shower.
Exerting my muscles, I lifted my body off my mattress and slowly walked to my bathroom where I turned the water to the hottest setting. I stumbled to the shitter where I pissed a liter worth of whiskey while steam from the shower started to billow from the top.
Flushing the toilet, I carefully walked over to the shower where I stepped in and allowed the searing hot water to run over me. The water was so hot, it almost felt cold. With my face in the water, I pressed my hands against the tile and let the water run over my aching body.
Vinny had been surprised to get a call from me last night, but with a little coaxing, he’d met me in the alley and taken care of business. There had been a concerned look on his face, but I knew he wouldn’t ask questions. He was just there to do a job. He’d left me bruised and battered, making sure to stay below the neck since I had to teach a class that morning.
I never doubled up in a year, ever, but after seeing Madeline and Linda yesterday, I’d needed the pain. I’d needed a release, and Vinny was able to deliver.
Water continued to run down my back, reminding me that in fact, I was still alive, a privilege I shouldn’t be granted but that also shouldn’t be wasted. I gathered up my soap and washed and thought about yesterday.
It’d been one of my most fucked up days to date. Not only had Linda and Madeline tilted my entire fucking world, but Lyla had shown up, letting me know she would never truly let go.
How the hell was I supposed to push away from a woman who wouldn’t let me? She was making this entirely too difficult, but it wasn’t like I fucking helped any. No, I went and told her she was practically my fucking crutch.
Christ.
What possessed me in that moment to say that to her was beyond me. Maybe it was because all I could think about was how beautiful she was, how her skin looked so soft under the gym lights and how her lips were calling out to me, to fucking make her mine, brand her with my shameful dysfunction.
With the soap, I lathered up my hand and washed my stomach as visions of Lyla kept passing through my mind.
I thought about her face, her breasts, her body.
My hand found my growing erection and without remorse, I stroked myself to the image of Lyla writhing underneath me, an image that had been branded in my brain.
I heard her little cries of pleasure, felt her grabbing hold of my ass, urging me deeper inside her. I growled and pumped my rigid cock. I just needed to think about her, and I was fucking hard.
Her laugh echoed through my head as my sore arm exerted itself by pumping my cock. I shouldn’t be thinking of her this way. I was only torturing myself, allowing myself to picture her in my mind constantly, but her beautiful face granted me little reprieve in this fucked up life of mine. She made me forget for a single moment in time.
I clung to the moment, riding it until I developed a new one. It was the one thing that made me not let Vinny push me over the edge, to finally take my life.
A groan escaped me as my stomach coiled, my balls tightened, my breathing hitched, and I came. With a couple more strokes, my orgasm eclipsed me, relieving me of the pressure that built up in my core. A short amount of relief fell over me but was quickly washed away when the slightly euphoric state I experienced ended.
In disgust, I placed my head on the tile of my shower and thought about my life.
Could I really go back to the Haze Room?
It wasn’t like I had a choice. If I didn’t show up to work on time, Jett would be at my door faster than I could shove a bottle of whiskey to my mouth.
Even though my mind was elsewhere, I knew there was only one place I could go, and it was the last place I ever wanted to be.
It was time to go back to the Haze Room.
***
The community center was already crawling with people signing up for a free membership and going on tours with the girls, who were dressed in khaki shorts and polos. It was almost comical to see the Jett Girls walking around in such normal clothes rather than their presentation outfits that consisted of bras, thongs, and smaller-than-scarves costumes.
Goldie sat at the front desk, greeting me with a smile, but instead of engaging in conversation, I just nodded and headed to my room. She really was the perfect person to greet people, a fucking ray of sunshine. Even though I hated to admit it, her smile had eased the tension in my shoulders.