She took a step away from me, a little shocked from the anger pouring off of me. Guilt ran through me from startling her so much. I didn’t want her to see this side of me, this bitter, hateful man, but I didn’t know how to be any other way. It was rare when I could really be myself and those moments were usually with Jett, who knew my sins, knew the demons I faced every day.
“Why won’t you just talk to me?” she asked.
Rubbing my face with the towel, I tried to stomp out the frustration I felt before I lashed out in a way I knew I would regret later.
“Lyla, it’s none of your business. You’ve made it quite clear I’m not the man for you, so why can’t you just drop it?”
“Because I think we have something in common.”
The woman was delusional. I shook my head and draped the towel over my head, forming a faux hood. I pulled on the ends while I looked at her. “You couldn’t be further from the truth. We have absolutely nothing in common.”
The cautious woman who’d confronted me morphed into one of defiance now. She poked my bare chest and said, “You know, Kace, you’re not the only one with a shitty past. You’re not the only one suffering, so stop acting like it. There are plenty of people around you who’ve had as much misfortune as you, maybe even worse. I mean, what really happened? You can’t be a boxer anymore? Big fucking deal. There are worse things than that.”
I shook my head and didn’t allow her to provoke me. I knew she was trying to get the truth out of me, but what she didn’t know was I’ve been holding my truth in for so long, I’d become a master at denying and deflecting.
“You act as if you’re troubled, Lyla,” I stated coolly.
She crossed her arms and stuck her chin up in the air, a defiant stance I knew well, thanks to my interactions with Goldie.
“If I was I wouldn’t be telling you.”
It was almost cute how she was trying to hold back, but what kept me from pushing her buttons some more was the darkness that shadowed her eyes. At that moment, I remembered that in fact, there really was something troubling her. Something deep, something that penetrated her surface and hit her hard, a kind of trouble that only one who was fighting the same kind of demons would recognize.
My face softened some as I took her in. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here,” I stated.
“You can’t be serious. Do you really think I would talk to you about anything? Ugh, you’re so frustrating,” she said, turning away, clearly needing space. I watched her long legs move gracefully down the hallway before she stopped and turned back. “I don’t get it, Kace. I really don’t. I thought we had a connection. I thought there was something between us. I don’t understand why you keep pushing me away when I can see in your eyes how much you want me. Why are you denying yourself?”
“You know why.” I spoke softly.
“I really don’t,” she shouted. “But I fucking wish I did.”
Not giving me a chance to respond, she returned to the gym, most likely to vent to Goldie. I could only envision what my night was going to be like when Goldie confronted me later about treating her friend poorly. There was one thing you could always count on when it came to Goldie; she spoke her mind.
I needed to cut that conversation off before it even had a chance to happen, so instead of going back to my room, I went to Jett’s office. I never needed to schedule a meeting to see him.
Since the Lafayette Club, Jett’s old club for city elites, was non-existent at the moment, Jett’s office was in the same apartment as his living space, making it very uncomfortable to pay him a visit since most of the time he had Goldie on his desk, eye-fucking her and making her promises about what he was going to do to her later.
Luckily for me, Goldie was working out, so I didn’t have to be a witness to the engaged couple who had yet to set a date.
Not bothering to knock, I pushed through Jett’s door and headed toward the little room in the back where he housed his office. Jeremy, his assistant, was just exiting. Jeremy took in my shirtless appearance and didn’t bother to cover up the blatant perusal he gave me. What did I care? It was flattering when someone checked me out, guy or girl.
“Mr. Haywood, what a pleasure,” he said with a smile, an almost wicked grin on his lips.
“Jeremy, nice to see you. Is Jett in his office?”
“Yes. Can I get you anything? Maybe another water bottle?”
“I’m good. Thanks though,” I said politely and pushed past him into the office. The pleasantries were over.
I walked into Jett’s space to find him sitting at his desk, running his hand through his hair as he looked over some documents in front of him. He looked up at me briefly and nodded a welcome.
I took the seat in front of his desk and leaned forward so my forearms were resting on my thighs.
“Forget to put a shirt on?” Jett asked without looking at me.
“Nah. I just know how much you like it when I walk around shirtless. Really gets your dick twitching.”
“Ah, so you’re in a better mood now than you were last night,” Jett pointed out. I’d been a drunken ass last night. I chalked it up to another night of living with my friend, the whiskey bottle.
“Not really,” I admitted. “Just ran into Lyla in the gym. Why does she have access again? It’s kind of hard to move the fuck on with my life if I keep running into her all the time.”
Jett placed the papers he was looking over on his desk and lifted his gaze to me. With a serious face, he said, “She’s in trouble, Kace. She’s taking a step backward in her life by going back to Kitten’s Castle, so if offering her gym time and a possible place to stay….”
“Hold up,” I said, raising my hand. “Place to stay?”
Lyla had been working at the Lafayette Club with Goldie, making a positive change in her life, until she’d decided she didn’t need the help and went back to her old job, stripping at Kitten’s Castle on Bourbon Street.
Nodding, Jett sat back in his chair and said, “I offered her residence, and she’s considering it since we’re so close to the Quarter here. It would get her back on the right track, and maybe with the girls convincing her, we can get her away from the pole and offer something more substantial for her future. I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“No,” I lied. “Fuck. I mean, of course I want her to have more, but I was just starting to get past the fact that she wasn’t living under the same roof as me anymore and now she might live here? Fuck, Jett, it’s hard enough as it is, running into her all the time.”
“Not my problem,” Jett said heartlessly. “Maybe it’s time you grow a pair and face your problems instead of hiding behind them.”
“Face my problems? You really think I can make a switch like that and decide to let all my sins come to the forefront of my mind and deal with them?” In a menacing tone, I said, “I fucking killed a man, Jett. It’s not like I was beaten as a child or have some kind of drug problem. I physically killed someone with my fists. That’s something you never get over.”
“You can’t keep living the way you have been. You’re not experiencing what this world has to offer. You sulk around your room, take care of tasks related to your job, and work out. There is nothing else in your life. It’s unhealthy.”
“And like you have the authority to tell me what’s healthy? Fuck, Jett, you just came out of the hole you were hiding in a couple of months ago. And because of that, you now think you know everything there is to chasing your demons? You know nothing.” I inched closer and pressed my finger on his desk while I spoke. “Until you know what it feels like to be stripped of your life, of everything you’d worked toward, you have no governance over my life. I would appreciate it if you and the girls would just leave me the fuck alone when it comes to my personal life because as far as I’m concerned, I have none and I want to leave it like that.”