Harry and Marion got off on the last of his stuff and made it on the couch grooving behind the high and the music. There was a softness in the music that they automatically focused on, a softness in the light that glowed from the top and the bottom of the shades and glowed in widening circles, and filtered through the multicolored sides of the shades and ever so gently pushed the darkness into the far corners and soothingly coated the room with a hint of color that was friendly to their eyes; and there was a kindness and tenderness in their attitudes as they held each other and turned their heads to avoid blowing smoke in each others face; even their voices were low and gentle and seemed a part of the music. Harry was brushing the hair back from Marions forehead, noticing how the dim light reflected from the perfect blackness of her hair and made the outline of her nose and high cheekbones seem to shimmer. You know something? Ive always thought you are the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen. Marion smiled and looked up at him, Really? Harry nodded and smiled, Since the first time I met you. Marion reached up and caressed his cheek with the tips of her fingers and smiled tenderly, Thats nice Harry. Her smile broadened, That really makes me feel good. Harry chuckled, Good for your ego, eh? Well I cant say that it does it any harm, but thats not what I mean. It makes me feel good all over, like… well, you know lots of people tell me things like that and its meaningless, completely meaningless. You mean because you think theyre putting you on? No, no, nothing like that. I dont know or care if they are. I guess maybe they really mean it, but from them, Marion shrugged, it just doesnt mean anything to me. They can be the most sincere person in the world and I feel like asking them what that has to do with the price of coffee, you know what I mean? Harry nodded and smiled, Yeah… She looked into Harrys eyes for a moment, feeling the tenderness in her look, But when you say it I hear it. You know what I mean? I really hear it. It has meaning to me. I mean, like its important and I not only hear it, but I believe it with all of me… and it makes the inner me feel good. Harry smiled, Im glad. Because you make me feel good. She turned excitedly, You know why? Its because I feel that you really know me, the real me. Youre not just looking at the outside, Marion looked even more intently into Harrys eyes, but youre looking at my inner being and seeing that there is a real person inside. All my life Ive been told Im beautiful, a, quote, Raven Haired Beauty, unquote, and I was told that because that was supposed to make everything alright. Dont worry honey, youre a beauty, everything will be alright. My mothers an absolute nut like that. Like thats the Alpha and Omega of existence. Like if youre beautiful you dont feel pain or have dreams or know the despair of loneliness. Why should you be unhappy, youre so beautiful? My God they drive me nuts, like all I am is a beautiful body and nothing else. Not once, never, have they ever tried to love the real me, to love me for what I am, to love me for my mind. Harry continued to stroke her head and caress her cheek and neck and gently rub the lobe of her ear, smiling as she moved her head and softened her smile as he caressed her. I guess we/re kindred souls and thats why we can feel so close to each other. Her eyes glowed even more intensely as she turned and leaned on an arm and looked at Harry, Thats what I mean. You see, you have feelings. You can appreciate the inner me. Like right now I feel a closeness between us that Ive never felt with anyone before… anyone. Yeah, I know what you mean. Thats how I feel. I don’t know if I can put it into words, but— Thats just it, it doesnt need words. Thats the whole point. Like whats the use of all those words when the feelings arent behind them. Theyre just words. Like I can look at a painting and tell it, youre beautiful. What does it mean to the painting? But Im not a painting. Im not two dimensional. Im a person. Even a Botticelli doesnt breathe and have feelings. Its beautiful, but its still a painting. No matter how beautiful the outside may be, the inside still has feelings and needs that just words dont fulfill. She nestled into his chest and Harry put an arm around her and held her hand, Yeah, youre right. Its not just the outside thats beautiful, but they dont know. Its hopeless. Thats why you cant be worried about the world. Theyll just do you in anyway. You cant depend on them because sooner or later theyll turn on you or just disappear and leave you there alone. Marion frowned for a moment, But you cant shut everyone out. I mean you have to have someone to love… someone to hold on to… someone— No, no, I don’t mean that, Harry pulled her back to his chest, I just mean that bunch of lames out there. Someone like you could really make it alright for me. With you with me I could really do something. Marion almost sighed, Do you really mean that Harry? Do you really think I could inspire you? Harry looked into her eyes, then at her face and gently glided the tip of a finger over her cheek and traced the outline of her nose, his face and eyes in a soft and tender smile, You could really make my life worth while. A guy needs something to give his life a reason or whats the point of living? I need more than the streets. I don’t want to be a floating crap game all my life. I want to be something… anything. Marion hugged him tightly, O Harry I think I really can help you be something. Theres something in me thats crying to come out but it needs the right person to open the lock. You can unlock it Harry. I know it. Harry put his arms around her as she cuddled into him. Yeah, I bet we could. He stroked her head for a moment as he looked up at the ceiling, Thats why I want to get some money and buy a piece. I dont want to spend my life hustling the streets and end up like the rest of them. If I can just get some money I can go into a business and settle right into it. He looked at Marion and smiled, I never told anybody this, but Ive always wanted to open a coffee house theater sort of place. You know, it would have good food and pastries and different kinds of coffee and hot chocolate and teas from all over the world, Germany, Japan, Italy, Russia, all over. And it could be sort of a theater group where youd have performances at night and maybe mimes doing little skits from time to time. I don’t know, I havent really got it all straight, but— Marion sat up, O, that sounds fantastic. Thats a great idea Harry. O, you could even have paintings by young painters on the wall. It could be sort of a gallery too. Sculpture. Harry nodded, Yeah. That sounds good. O Harry, lets do it. O lets. Its a terrific idea. I can get the painters without any trouble. O, and we could have poetry readings a couple of nights a week O Harry its so exciting and it could work, I just know it could. Yeah, I know. I figure it may take time, but I could probably open up a couple of them. You know, after the one here gets going we could go to Frisco and open one. O, you would love San Francisco, Harry. And I know enough people there to get it going, the mimes, the poets, the painters, I know them all, and who knows what could happen after that. Harry smiled, Yeah. But we have to make sure its goin right here before we go spreading our wings. O, I know. But we can still plan. How long do you think it will take to get the money? Harry shrugged, I dont know. Not long. Once we cop the first piece it will be pretty easy after that. She hugged him, O Harry, Im so excited. I cant tell you. Harry chuckled, I never would have guessed. They laughed and put their arms around each other and kissed, first gently, then more passionately, and Harry pulled his face back a few inches and looked lovingly at Marion, I love you, and kissed her on the tip of her nose, her eyelids, her cheeks, then her soft lips, her chin, her neck, her ears, then nuzzled his face in her hair and caressed her back with his hands and breathed her name in her ear, Marion, Marion, I love you, and she gently moved with the flow and felt his words and kisses and feelings flow through her, easing away all her problems, her doubts, her fears, her anxieties and she felt warm and alive and vital. She felt loved. She felt necessary. Harry felt real and substantial. He could feel all the loose pieces starting to fall into place. He felt on the verge of something momentous. They felt whole. They felt united. Though they were still on the couch they felt a part of the vastness of the sky and the stars and moon. They were somehow on the crest of a hill with a gentle breeze blowing Marions hair flowingly; and walking through a sunlit woods and flower studded field feeling the freedom of the birds as they flew through the air chirping and singing and the night was comfortingly warm as the soft filtered light continued to push the darkness into the shadows as they held each other and kissed and pushed each others darkness into the corner, believing in each others light, each others dream.
Sara smiled her way into wakefulness. It was early but she felt completely refreshed. She wasn’t sure if she had dreamed or not, but if she had it was a beautiful dream. She thought she heard birds chirping. She got up and went ipsy pipsy into the bathroom and showered and got ready for the new day. She looked in the mirror at her hair and shrugged and smiled. Big deal. Its beautiful. Its in the family, and she giggled. Flash, bam, alexkazam, its an orange colored sky. She giggled again and went ipsy pipsy into the living room, turned on the set, then into the kitchen and started boiling her egg then went out to the mailbox to see if her television papers had come yet. She knew the mailman wasn’t due for hours, but you never can tell. There might have been a special delivery of some kind or maybe theres a different mailman whose delivering the mail early. Her mailbox was empty. So were the others. She went back to her apartment and started fixing the grapefruit and wondered if she should eat first the grapefruit or the egg. She sipped her black coffee, thinking, then ate part of the grapefruit, then the egg and then finished the grapefruit. And then it was all gone. It seemed like she just got up and already the breakfast was gone. She shrugged and filled an eightounce glass of water and drank it, visualizing the weight melting off. She sat at the table drinking her coffee, but her hands kept reaching for something so she got up and washed the dishes, then dried them and put them away, then looked at the clock wondering how long before lunch time and realized it wasnt even breakfast time yet and a feeling of panic started in her stomach, but she went back to the bedroom and made the bed and straightened the room and told her stomach to stop already, Youll feel better in the red dress than a cheese danish. She sang and hummed and fluttered about as she cleaned the living room, waiting until it was time to go to Adas for another treatment on her hair. As she cleaned she became more and more interested in the program on television and so she finally stopped and sat in her viewing chair to watch the remainder of the show. The ending was not only happy, it was funny and heartwarming and her heart was even more joyful as she got her towel and left the apartment. She checked the mailbox again then went to Adas. At least todays not so bad. Just some more dye. Did you get the letter? No mail yet. I think maybe its coming today. You think its telling which show? Sara shrugged, I hope. What are you winning maybe? What am I winning? a weekend with Robert Redford, how should I know? Maybe when I find out the show I/ll know the prizes. Ada wrapped the towel around Saras neck as they adjusted themselves in front of the television set, I saw yesterday a lady from Queens on a show she won a brand new car, a six piece set of luggage with already a cosmeks case, o such a gorgeous blue. You know Ada, thats just what I need. A new car and luggage. For when I drive to Miami. I always have new luggage when I go the Fountainblew. Make sure you have the car waxed and not a cheapie, but solomized. In that sun you need protection on the car. Tell me, was the car big enough for a driver and the luggage? Ada started applying the dye, You should have seen that lady, she almost fainted. I think she lives near the Katzes. The Katzes? Yeah, remember? Rae and Irving Katz. They used to live over Hymies delicatessen. When was this? Maybe ten years ago. Who knows? Im supposed to remember ten years ago the Katzes from over Hymies delicatessen. Thats when my Seymour died. O, I know, I know. But you remember. They had such a nice young boy. Hes a big doctor now. In Hollywood. Oh yeah, I remember. So they live near the lady with the car and luggage? Ada shrugged. Could be. They moved to Queens. Maybe they know each other. Anyway, its a nice prize. Just what I need. I saw yesterday a couple win a swimming pool. A swimming pool? Yeah. With already a filter and heater and all kinds things. Now thats what I need. I could move out the couch and they could put it in the living room. It wouldnt work Sara. Theyd raise your rent. Raise it over what? Everything. I/ll give them the luggage. Let them take a trip and leave me alone. Careful, dont move while I get this. Youre not needing a red nose. Ada carefully applied the dye as they continued to talk and speculate, and when she finished Sara looked at the clock, Good. Just in time for my lunch. For a change, I think I/ll have a egg, grapefruit, black coffee, and a little bit letttuce. Bone appetite.