I’ve already chosen a spot by the door, and Wendy has given me an extra blanket in case I get cold.
“What now? We’re useless in here,” Gideon says.
“You’re alive,” I tell him. Plenty of people aren’t.
Ronan runs his hand through his hair. “Tonight Old Watson and I will round up more applicants for the army. When we have enough people and they’re all armed, we fight.”
“Could be a long wait,” Gideon says.
“And we can wait,” Harriet says. “Bea’s right. Not being dead or imprisoned is enough for now.”
“And what if his sister comes up here?” Gideon asks, speaking to everyone except Ronan. I keep quiet when what I should do is remind him that Ronan has just saved his life—he could be a little more grateful.
“It’s thumbprint activated, and mine is the only one registered,” Ronan says.
“A thumb pad. That’s safe,” Gideon says sarcastically.
I can’t listen anymore. “Ronan is doing his best. If you want to go out and live in the alleyways until you get picked up, do it. This is no one’s ideal situation,” I tell him.
Harriet frowns at her husband. “Gideon’s grateful. We all are,” she says.
Ronan rubs his hands together. “I’ll be up once a day, if I can. I’ll bring food.” He switches off the music. Everyone in the studio looks at him. “You should tiptoe and avoid raised voices,” he says.
I join Ronan by the main door. Suddenly I don’t want him to go. I hold on to the tail of his shirt. “You’re in charge,” he says. He looks at my hand, which is still clutching him, and touches it with the tips of his fingers. If I asked Ronan to take me with him, he would. But I have to keep order up here.
I release him. “Goodnight,” I say, and he slips out the door.
I go to my sleeping spot and lie down facing the wall. I close my eyes and see Quinn. For a while I thought I might never see him again, even clearly in my mind. But that was only because I was scared of losing him forever.
I don’t think I’m scared anymore.
41
QUINN
Every time the dining hall doors open I hope it’ll be Alina, and after I’ve given up on her, she marches in. She gives me this stony look and takes a seat with the other troopers. A server lays a red dessert at the other end of my table, and the academics ladle out hefty portions for themselves, ignoring our end. “I’ll get us some,” Clarice says.
“Not for me,” I say, and push my bowl of green food away. I rest my chin in my hands, waiting for dinner to end. I can feel Clarice watching me, but I don’t bother making conversation.
After a painfully long time, the bell rings and we’re allowed to leave. I make for the doors, and Alina, when there’s a tug on my arm. “Are you trying to lose me?” Clarice asks teasingly.
“Of course not. Come on,” I say. The last thing I need is her running to Vanya to tell her I’ve been inattentive.
I pull on my facemask as we get outside, where Alina’s waiting. “Hey,” she says. She ignores Clarice.
“Can I catch you up, Clarice?” I ask.
“Sure,” she says. She smiles and goes ahead.
“She seems friendly,” Alina says.
I roll my eyes. “I wish she wouldn’t be.” Now that I’ve stopped acting like an idiot when Alina’s around, we’re easy with each other.
“We leave tonight,” she whispers.
“Good,” I say. We haven’t had any time to prepare, but if Alina thinks it’s time, I believe her.
She pulls me into the shadow of the main house. “We have to get Maude, Bruce, and some others before we go. We’ll meet on the second floor of the east stairwell at midnight. Be there, and make sure Dorian and Song are there, too. I don’t know if I can tell them. Maks has me on a leash.” She stalks off without any further discussion.
I chase after her. “And the pod?” I ask. I shake her without meaning to, and she pushes me away.
“Relax. We’re going to go fight alongside Bea and my aunt and uncle, but we’ll keep it between you, me, and Silas. No one else needs to worry about that yet.”
“I think we should head straight for the pod. No detours.”
Clarice suddenly appears. “Seriously? Are you going with the troopers?” she asks.
Alina glares at me, like Clarice’s superhuman hearing is my fault. And I’m about to make up some lie when I remember the conversation back in our room. Clarice mentioned being glad she wasn’t in the pod, and I thought she meant because of the riots. Did I misunderstand? “Only a few people have been told we’re going back,” I say slowly.
“Oh.” Clarice looks over her shoulder. “Did Maks tell you when you’re leaving?” Alina gives me another look, but this time it’s because Clarice must know something we don’t, and she wants me to get her to talk.
“Tonight,” I say. I push Clarice’s hair away from her face and grin. This is how I used to flirt with girls. It didn’t always work and, unsurprisingly, it doesn’t work with Clarice. She steps back.
“But none of the other academics are going,” she says. I shrug and Clarice kicks a stone against the main house. “Why should I lose my partner? It isn’t fair. Maks said it would only be the troopers going and that’s why they’ve been training so hard. Is it because you know the pod? Is it because you have inside information or something?” She stops speaking as someone comes up behind us. She waits until he passes.
“My dad’s the army’s general,” I say hesitantly.
“And you agree with what Maks has planned?” she says. “I want a new place to live, like anyone here. But cutting the tubing on the recycling stations? Isn’t there another way to destroy the Ministry?”
Alina and I freeze. Can it be true? Would Vanya and Maks really murder so many innocent people? I start to panic, and have to increase the volume of oxygen coming into my facemask. I’m thinking of Bea and my brothers and mother. Of my father, who saved me in the end. And I’m even thinking of Riley and Ferris, who are royal pains in the butt, but were my friends in another lifetime. Even they don’t deserve to suffocate.
“How did you find out about the mission?” I ask Clarice.
“Jo,” she says nonplussed. “Maks told her, I think.”
“Shit,” Alina says. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. When I see Abel . . .” She screws her hands into fists.
“Abel knows?” I ask.
“Of course he knows. He’s very selective with his information.”
A group of troopers passes us on the path. “Alina, you coming?” one of them asks.
“Sure,” she says, and walks backward toward them mouthing one word to me: midnight.
42
ALINA
Maks won’t sleep. He’s in the bed, and I’m on the floor. Every time I open my eyes he’s ogling me. And when he sees I’m not asleep, he smiles. Sometimes he winks, but usually it’s just the cool smile, like he knows what I’m planning. “You can climb in here with me, you know,” he says at one point, and pulls back the covers, unveiling his thick, tattooed torso and a faint musty smell.
“No thanks,” I say, and close my eyes.
It’s close to midnight and everyone will be waiting. Still, I try to relax, and after what feels like hours, his breathing changes. I sit up and crawl over to the bed to get a better look at him. Although one of his eyes is half open, he’s totally out.