After the first six months of hell, stalking and watching her every move as she tried to recover from the aftermath of the devastation he had wreaked on her life, he couldn’t take anymore. Relocating, selling his house and moving away were his ways of coping with everything. He had hoped that by putting distance between him and Elsa, he could move on, and she could do the same.
What a fucking joke. No amount of distance between them seemed far enough. Not even the other end of the country.
California: A colossal waste of fucking time.
Sunny weather, toned bodies and smiling, happy people… It was all just another cruel, Goddamn joke. All that bullshit only made his reality more unbearable. Not even the sex he had to try and forget about her was worth mentioning. Sure, the women were attractive, but they all looked the same with their perfectly straight teeth and fake tits. And every last one of them had a personality so dull it couldn’t have cut through fog. It made no difference how far they spread their legs, how good they sucked his dick or the fucked up things they let him do to them - they couldn’t hold a candle to Chapter Eight.
And Chapter Nine, that was just another massive time suck. His heart wasn’t in the game anymore no matter how hard he tried.
As for Mr. Black, he was itching to come back out in a bad way. Having done his best to stay away from the ember-haired beauty who claimed she would always love him, it had been a long eighteen months holding his demons at bay. But here he was again, back in Richmond, hoping against hope that this time things would be different. That he would be different.
When he heard the news about Elsa’s plans, he knew the clock was ticking. It was now or never to try and convince her to play his game once more. But what if she said no? Then what? How far was he willing to go to get her to succumb once again? His well-thought out plan had made concessions for all sorts of scenarios, but not for the possibility that she would refuse to play the game. He couldn’t go there. Not just yet. The benefit of the doubt would be given to her this time around; even if it was merely a pretense. Only if push came to shove would he consider doing the unthinkable - forced submission.
Knowing Elsa’s strong will, it would be a fight like no other if it came to that and they would both most likely end up hurt, emotionally and physically. Shaking his head, he pushed the thought out of his mind. Everything in his power would be done to not allow it to come to that.
He drove away from her house, her name slipping past his lips unconsciously. He recoiled from the sound of his desperate voice in his ears. He needed her to play the game again. Just once more… Only then would he sever ties with her and allow her to live the life she deserved and to have the love she said she needed to give and receive.
Back in the privacy of his home, he found his journal, turned the page and scribbled into it.
There you were tonight with those defiant, brown eyes shining for another man. When that sweet laugh of yours rang out, I couldn’t help but wonder how long it’s been since you’ve cried or thought about me. A day? A week? Longer? Do I still linger in your thoughts? Do you remember what it feels like to be under my command? You held that man as if he was your destiny, but very soon I’ll remind you of your true fate. You’ll feel the intensity of my kiss, the strength of my embrace, and the sting of my bite. Not today, not tomorrow, but before I allow you to take another man’s name, you’ll be reminded of the seriousness of my rules and the bond between us that can never be broken. Not even by ‘I do.’
1: Interruption
The face looking back at Elsa in the mirror was a sad, tattered version of her former self. While touching up her cherry-colored lipstick, she practiced her many different smiles; the happy, ear-to-ear smile, the bashful half-smile, and the oh, that joke is funny, toothy smile. Not a single one was genuine, but no one would know the difference. Nor would they know that behind her bright, brown eyes hid the pain of her past failed relationships. The pain of her scarred heart was hidden well behind that insincere smile, and she liked it that way. No one needed to know that a sincere smile hadn’t made an appearance for more than a year and a half, and that her laugh lines had long since faded. Not even Nate.
She swallowed hard and tried to suppress the nagging feeling of discontent that had been present for months. In less than an hour, she would be announcing her engagement to a man she didn’t really love in front of her mother, the few friends she had managed to keep, and a plethora of people she didn’t know.
Nate scooted in behind her, pushed her hair aside and kissed the nape of her neck, his warm lips doing nothing to her libido except reminding her of how passionless her life had become.
His cool, blue eyes watched her questioningly. “Are you nervous?”
It was remorse, not nervousness, coursing through her veins. It all felt rushed; the timing wrong; the reasoning not right. She had said yes when she should’ve said not yet, maybe someday, maybe never. But it was too late to back out.
She nodded and averted her gaze to the dripping faucet.
Turning her body to face him, she pressed her face against his chest. With her arms wrapped around his thick waist, she inhaled his inexpensive, yet soothing, cologne. His body stiffened in response like it always did, his arms limply hanging by his sides before pulling out of her reach.
Cold and detached; just like all the rest. How she always managed to end up with that type of man, she would never know. Why she allowed herself to fall for them, she could only curse herself for.
Looking up into his impassive eyes, she forced her I adore you smile. Even if he wasn’t loving and affectionate in the traditional sense, he was kind, hardworking, and loyal. And he was present. Not all of the time, but enough to keep her from being lonely and dwelling on things and people that were better left in the dark recesses of her mind.
Leaning against the bathroom counter, she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt and mentally kicked herself for having agreed to make a big deal out of their engagement. It was Nate who was the social whore; not her, and the thought of being around a large group of strangers was less than appealing.
“Maybe we can postpone the party for another weekend,” she whispered, hoping he would take pity on her.
Nate’s strong hands gripped her shoulders and he gave her the kind of gentle, impersonal shake a parent gives a child when they’re acting unreasonably. “Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone is waiting.”
“Can’t we just stay in and hold each other tonight?” she pleaded, touching the lapel of his suit jacket.
“Are you serious?” he blinked in astonishment. “That request is a little cheesy, even for you.”
When he rolled his eyes, she withered under his dismissive glare and accepted her fate.
*
An hour into their evening, Elsa’s nerves were thoroughly frayed. She was fresh out of false sincerity, and her last fake smile had been dealt out fifteen minutes earlier to a group of people she had never met before in her life. While her mother endlessly mingled and beamed about her daughter’s upcoming nuptials at the other end of the large restaurant, Nate was somewhere telling tall tales about his good old days as a Navy pilot. It was just as well since all she wanted to do was hide out at the cash bar, far away from the others.
With a half-empty glass of wine in her hand, she closed her eyes and tried to remember a time when she was happy. A time before her life had forever changed and her heart stripped of all its sentiment. A time before her light had nearly been doused. Before… him.