I can’t pretend that I don’t understand what he’s telling me. That life with Gavin is going to be difficult. When I’m not having issues anymore, Gavin is going to have to go back to a normal hunting regimen. Which means he could be gone for days at a time, and I’m going to spend a lot of time alone. And worried.
But he’s the only thing I’ve got in this world. Or any world, really. I can’t remember what life is like without him.
I miss being able to remember.
Gavin’s given up so much of his life for me, and it doesn’t seem like that’s going to end any time soon. I know he can’t afford to sit around babysitting me forever, but I’m lost without him. It’s like I’ve lost myself somewhere along the way, and I don’t know what’s important to me, or what I want out of my life.
Asher and I stare into the fire in silence while worry twists my stomach into knots.
When Gavin finally comes back, he’s got some kind of fluffy, bloody thing in his hands, and he’s wearing a huge smile.
“Caught a rabbit!” he says so excitedly that even though my stomach turns, I give him a smile back. Then bite my lip against the burning in my stomach and force myself to look away until Gavin’s got it cleaned and strung up on the spit he placed over the fire.
He comes to sit next to me, the rabbit skin in his hands. “I’ll save this and take it back to Mom. She’ll have this whipped into a hat for you in no time.” He looks so proud of himself that I have to smile back at him and try to look as excited as he is about it.
However, I don’t miss the look of amusement Asher gives Gavin. He catches my eye and shakes his head, then goes back to poking the fire with a stick.
Before too long Gavin is dishing out the meat, and despite the fact that I really don’t want to eat it, I dig in. Gavin sits next to me, his hip pressed tightly against mine. No one talks during our meal. It isn’t uncomfortable like before, but I’m not stupid—I can still feel the tension between the two boys. Although I’m curious, I don’t ask. Gavin will talk to me about it when he’s ready.
When we finish eating, Gavin gathers all the bones. Without saying a word to either Asher or myself, he walks into the woods. He’s gone for so long, I begin to get worried and start wondering if maybe I should go look for him. Just when I’ve made my mind up, he reappears.
“I want to show you something,” he says, ignoring Asher. “Come on.” He smiles at me and holds out his hand. Without hesitation, I take it and let him lead me to the tree line.
“Hey!” Asher calls. “Where are you two off to?”
Gavin gives him a look. “If it was any of your business, I’d be taking you too.”
Asher glares at him. “You better not be ditching me.”
Gavin scowls. “Don’t tempt me.” Then he tugs on my hand and pulls me into the darkness of the woods.
Even though it’s pitch dark in the trees now, Gavin navigates expertly through them. The woods are filled with strange sounds—a kind of chirping. The rustling of leaves in the trees. Closer to us on the ground, a strange sound that sounds like someone asking, “Who?”
I’m sure I feel something slither over my shoe, but when I tell Gavin and ask him what it might be he just says, “Don’t worry about it. You don’t want to know.” Taking him at his word, I cling to his hand and follow, trying my best not to think of what could be around us.
Eventually, we reach a break in the trees. He steps out into it, but I’m more hesitant. There’s something about this place. It’s solemn. Peaceful. I’m not sure I should disturb it. But Gavin pulls me out of the trees. Moonlight streams over him, giving him a ghostly appearance, and I shudder.
“Come on. You don’t want to miss this.” He tugs me into the center of the circle, then drops down in the grass to lie on his back and look up into the sky, like we’re going to look at clouds again. Unsure, I lower to the ground next to him and look up. In this circle, for as far as the eye can see, there’s nothing but the blue-black of the sky and the silver of the stars.
“Oh … wow,” I finally say when I can get my breath back. “That’s even prettier than the stars over the water.”
“That’s because the light from the village mutes them. Here, there’s nothing to dim the sparkle. And each of them has a story,” he says. He points to some stars. “Like there, that’s Orion. He—”
“Was a hunter. He was turned into a constellation when he died,” I finish for him, excitedly, almost giddy with the awareness that I actually know something.
“Yep.” He sounds a little disappointed.
I give him a sidelong glance and point up. “What’s that one?”
Gavin
I don’t know how long we lie there, staring at stars, me pointing out constellations I’m sure she already knows, but too soon, I push to my feet, then lean over and help Evie to hers.
“Time to head back to camp. Asher is probably freaking out.” Under my breath, I mutter, “If we’re lucky, maybe a coyote ate him.”
“Gavin,” Evie says, but there’s laughter in her voice.
Sighing, I push through the underbrush, following the path we made earlier. Halfway there, I see a really pretty flower. It actually looks like two flowers attached to one another. The bottom part has orange, spiky petals and the top part is white and looks almost like a rose. It seems to almost glow in the moonlight. Remembering back to the gardens Evie had in Elysium, I don’t think she’s ever seen one like this.
I glance behind me, but she’s not paying attention to me. She’s watching the ground with a nervous expression. I’m sure she’s hoping to avoid whatever slithered across her foot earlier. Probably just a snake looking for his burrow. But her distraction is enough, and I pluck the flower from the ground and carefully keep it from her sight.
It doesn’t take long before the sounds of a crackling fire and Asher’s grumbling find us and I push through into the little clearing with our tents.
Asher jumps up quickly, panic on his face. When he sees it’s just us, the panic turns to relief, then anger. “Where the hell have you been? I was worried you got eaten by a bear or something.”
I wave him away. “Bears haven’t been seen here in years.”
While Asher glowers at me, Evie slips past and weaves her way sleepily toward her tent. I stop her by placing my hand on my shoulder. “Wait. Evie. I found this for you.”
She turns back around, confusion written on her face. I shove my hand forward, opening it, and show her the flower sitting in the palm of my hand.
She smiles and reaches out to take it, but I ignore her hand, pushing her hair aside, then sliding the flower in behind her ear to hold her hair back. She touches the flower and beams up at me, and for a second I see the girl I met in Elysium instead of the shadow of her she’s become. Then the smile slides off her face and it’s almost like a veil lowers over her eyes. They go from sparkling with joy to dull and lifeless.
She tilts her head, still looking at the flower, then plucks it from behind her ear. She pegs me with her eyes and I fight a shudder. “My flowers are not to be removed without my permission. Mother will be informed of this.”
She skirts around me while all the hair on my body stands on end.
Not again.
She walks straight toward the woods, and I have to force my shaky legs to move forward. Just hearing her say “Mother” with that expression has made my muscles weak. But I have to stop her from wandering into the woods. Bears may not be an actual problem, but coyotes are. Along with snakes, bobcats, and panthers.