“You can’t leave here,” Eli says, stopping Gavin and me in our tracks.
“Yes we can, and we will,” Gavin says, his teeth and fists clenching.
“You can. She can’t. She’ll lose everything again. There’s an EMF field around the city. If you leave, the field will cause the bots to hardlock. They’ll automatically suppress Evelyn’s memories again. It prevents people who’ve managed to … leave—not that it happens very often—from telling our secrets to the Surface Dwellers. But if you help us, I’ll figure out a way to bypass that so you can go. Both of you.”
I exchange a glance with Gavin. As much as I don’t want to believe Eli, there’s something that rings true about what he’s saying. I think I knew this. Somehow.
I don’t say anything, but Asher says, “What if we come up with a compromise?” He glances to me. “We don’t have to kill anyone. We could just … exile her.”
Evangeline’s eyes light up. “Yes. To the Surface. For her that would be a fate worse than death.”
Eli furrows her brow. “How are we going to do that? She’s never going to go without a fight. And who’s to say she won’t find a way to come back in when we’re not expecting her? It’s too dangerous.”
The room becomes quiet again, but I don’t care. “I’m not killing anyone,” I say. “No matter how horrible she is. Or how I was trained. I’m not taking someone’s life. It’s wrong. And I refuse to do it again for you or anyone.”
Eli holds my gaze for a long minute. “Fine,” he says finally. “Exile could work, but we need to remove her from office and find a way to get her out of here and onto the Surface, while figuring out how to keep her from returning. And for that we’ll still need you. Your training will still be the best advantage we have, especially if things go wrong.”
Gavin shakes his head. “No. This isn’t our fight anymore. We appreciate you helping her, but we can’t stay. I’m not going to let her get herself hurt again. Mother doesn’t know she’s here, as far as we know, and I’d rather it stay that way.” He looks up at me. “Right, Evie?”
I don’t know what to say. My mind is still chaotic. I’m starting to put together all the information that I’ve regained access to, but not all of it makes sense. A lot of it doesn’t, actually. It’s like putting a puzzle together without having the box to tell you what the whole picture is supposed to look like. I can’t be certain of anything. I can’t even be sure the memories I have are real memories or ones my brain has supplied to fill in the gaps. All I really have is what they’ve told me. Is that enough for me to risk my life for people I don’t even know anymore?
Gavin may be right. This isn’t really my fight anymore, and Mother is surely out for my blood. It’d be much better for us—Asher, Gavin, and me—to just leave now.
But that doesn’t feel right either.
If what they’re saying is right, and there is anything I can do to help, I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if I just left them to fend for themselves. I’d probably end up like Asher’s grandmother, trying to get rid of the guilt years later.
They’re all still staring at me, but I don’t know what to do.
“I don’t know,” I finally say. “I—I need a few minutes. To think.” I press a hand to my pounding head.
Immediately Evangeline jumps up. “Of course you do. You’re probably exhausted. After everything you’ve gone through.” She starts leading me down the hall and to the first room on the left.
She pushes open the door to reveal a bedroom decorated in pink. She gestures to the bed. “Please. Rest. You know where to find me if you need me.”
I nod and sit on the side of the bed while she stands awkwardly in the doorway. After a minute, she turns and leaves, looking lost.
I know the feeling. I feel lost myself. Engrossed in my thoughts, I don’t hear the door open, and when Asher’s head pops into my line of view, I have to stifle a scream.
He laughs when I swat at him. “Asher! Don’t do that!”
“Sorry,” he says, still laughing.
I make room for him on the bed and he sits next to me.
We sit in easy silence, until finally he breaks it by saying, “You know that I’m not on the side of you dying, right?”
Surprised, I jerk my head up to look at him. “Of course!”
“And that I didn’t bring you here to betray you?”
I blink. “Of course you didn’t. I’ve known from the beginning that the only reason you brought me here was to help me. You’ve been incredibly kind. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me,” he says. “It wasn’t entirely selfless on my part.”
“You mean how you’re trying to make up to Gavin by helping me?”
“No. At first that was the reason. Then I got to know you and I was doing it for you. You seemed to be able to see right through me and yet … you still liked me. I think.” He looks up at me and I nod. He smiles; then it falls and he continues. “That doesn’t happen to me very often. Even my own father isn’t exactly fond of me. I thought I was falling in love with you. I kind of hoped I was because it would have made things so much easier. And I convinced myself that it was mutual.” He sighs. “And if it wasn’t, that with time, maybe it would be.”
My eyes widen as I stare at him. I open my mouth to say something, but I’m so shocked that nothing comes out.
He only laughs. “Yeah. That’s what I thought. Don’t worry. I’ve realized that’s not gonna happen. And it’s okay. Because I do love you. It’s just not that kind of love.”
“I—I don’t understand.”
He takes my hand, running a thumb over the back of it. “You didn’t realize what Eli was saying back there. Did you?”
“About him being my dad? Yeah, I get it.”
He shakes his head. “No. Not exactly. Remember what my grandma said about him? About them?” He emphasizes the “them” and stares at me as I frown.
Then slowly I get it. “About them being lovers?”
He looks uncomfortable, squirming a little in his seat, but nods. “What if she was pregnant when she left here?” His eyes bore into mine. “What if my mom is Eli’s daughter, too?”
“No. That can’t be right.” Can it? Do I have family out there I didn’t even know about? I stare at Asher. Is he part of my family?
He smiles when he sees I understand and his hand grips mine. “You get it now, don’t you?”
I slowly nod.
“When Eli said that you were his daughter, it surprised me that it didn’t bother me as much as it should have, you know? Because he was my grandma’s boyfriend, for God’s sake, and that meant you were—well, you could be … I realized that it could mean you were family. And it should have been so disgusting, but it’s not, because I see you more like my sister than a girl.” He laughs. “That didn’t come out right. And that’s why I get so pissed off at Gavin for the way he treats you sometimes. I’m not jealous—” He bumps my shoulder with his. “—I’m just watching out for my sister.”
I stare at him, my heart bursting with happiness. Family. Real family. Someone who actually wants to be my family, instead of just tolerating my existence.
I smile at him, then hug him tightly, tears brimming in my eyes. He hugs me back.
“Do you think it’s true?” I ask.
“I don’t know. It seems possible.” He shrugs. “I kind of like the idea of you being my sister.”
“You realize I’d actually be your aunt, right?” I ask, grinning.
He rolls his eyes. “Please. You’re little-sister material all the way.”