“Rusty…”
“Deacon gets it now. He’s not pissed at you, he—”
“Rusty,” he said louder, and she jumped, staring up at him. “I don’t give two shits what your brother thinks about me.”
Her arms, still around her waist, tightened. “But I thought you’d want to…”
“I’m done.” The words were razor blades against his throat, but he forced them out.
“What?” she whispered.
“I’m done. I thought there was something between us. I was wrong.”
Heat hit her gorgeous face, pain shattering the hope in her eyes. It fucking killed him. “We’re done?” she repeated.
“Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I don’t do relationships. Never have.” He started toward the front door. “I’ve gotta run, got things to do.”
“You don’t do relationships…you’re sorry?” She moved toward him, grabbed his arm when he tried to pass. “I don’t believe you. This is about what happened with Brian. This has nothing to do with you and me. Admit it.”
Wrapping his fingers around her wrist, he removed her hand from his arm but couldn’t bring himself to let her go. “There is no you and me, not anymore.”
“You said you wanted to give us a chance. You said you wanted to get to know me.” She visibly shook. “So what? You were lying?”
Her lower lip trembled, and his gut twisted into a hard, angry knot. Rusty did not cry easily, despite the tender heart she guarded. She also didn’t let just anyone in. She’d let him in. And he was about to hurt her, shatter the trust she’d placed in him. And he hated himself for it.
But it was the only way to stop her from coming back, because he couldn’t do this again. Not when all he wanted to do was pull her against him and beg her to forgive him, to take her inside and spend days loving every inch of her. Make her understand.
He dropped her hand and put some distance between them. “I got what I wanted. You hear what I’m saying?”
She hugged herself again. “So I was just some easy fuck? I imagined everything else?”
He forced a laugh. “There was nothing easy about it, honey. You made me work for it. I got it. Now I don’t want it anymore. End of story.”
He watched the hurt in her eyes intensify before she blinked several times, forcing it back. He could see her lock it down, close him out. God, he couldn’t bear it, couldn’t stand there much longer, pretending that he didn’t care, when he did, so damn much. She turned away from him and yanked the door of the pickup open.
“We’re clear?” he asked, voice shot to shit.
She stood in the open door and looked over her shoulder at him, gaze no longer hurt but full of that fire she’d given him when he’d first met her. She gave him a head to toe, then her gaze locked on his, did not fucking falter as she spoke. “Crystal. I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. You just took me by surprise. I’ve been having fun with you. But you’re right. It was time to end this. I should be thanking you really.”
“How’s that?” He needed to stop talking, walk away, but his feet were superglued to the damn ground.
She smiled, licked her lips, and even now he wanted her. Realized he would always want her.
“Thanks to you I’m over my issues with sex. You made me realize that fucking is just that, it doesn’t have to mean anything. That I like it. A lot. I like to be fucked hard, and I liked getting down on my knees, having my hair pulled while I sucked your cock.”
Reid’s spine went ramrod, every word out of her mouth tormented him, sliced through him, a goddamn knife through the chest. But all he could do was stand there and pretend that none of it affected him, that he felt nothing.
He needed her to stop, but the woman was on a roll.
“…I like a man who takes charge of my body, who knows how to get me off. You’re absolutely right. Tying yourself to one person is a stupid idea.” She hitched her dress higher, showing her smooth thighs and a flash of bright blue panties as she climbed into her truck. “Thank you for teaching me that, Reid. I’m looking forward to getting out there. I’ve got a lot of time to make up for.” Then she slammed the door, fired up the engine, and backed out.
Reid stood rooted to the spot, mind racing, close to losing it as he watched her drive away.
You made me realize that fucking is just that, it doesn’t have to mean anything.
Her words rang in his head, over and over again, and pain sliced through him.
It was the right thing to do.
Yeah, then why does it feel so damn wrong?
Letting her go was the biggest mistake of his life, would always be his biggest regret. He’d known that before he said what he had. But the very thought of her with another man, doing the things they’d done together with someone else? Fuck, it had the ability to tip him over the edge. If he let that get in his head, dwelled on it, he’d lose his shit. He’d go after her and demand she take him back, that she promise to never talk about fucking anyone else ever again—that she was his.
But he’d just given up that right. He’d thrown it away because he had to, because he’d rather see her with someone else than risk hurting her.
Now he just had to stay the hell away from her.
Chapter Nineteen
Rusty slid on the simple black dress she’d picked out. It was short, midthigh, but the neckline was high, skimming her throat. All the action was at the back, scooping down low, just above her ass. It was a nice dress, an expensive dress she’d paid a crapload of money for, just for this occasion. When Reid had agreed to take her to Alex and Deke’s engagement party, before he’d broken it off, she’d been excited, wanted to wow him when he picked her up.
Now getting dressed up, and worse, putting on a fake smile when she should be ecstatically happy for her brother and her best friend, just made her feel crappy…and guilty as hell.
She wanted to be happy. Had been trying to shake off her shitty mood for days, but celebrating love wasn’t something she felt like doing right then. God, she had to get over herself. She couldn’t miss Alex and Deacon’s engagement party.
How selfish could she get? She needed to lighten the hell up. If anyone could make it work it was those two. They’d loved each other for the longest time, finally getting it together when her insane brother blackmailed Alex into a sordid, secret affair. It worked. Her brother won over her feisty friend, despite a few hiccups along the way, and now they were blissfully happy, all set to tie the knot.
She was happy for them, more than happy. Unfortunately, she wasn’t in the party mood, hadn’t been for the last week. Not since she backed out of Reid’s driveway and drove away heart sore. He’d devastated her with his glacial demeanor and biting words. He’d taken every one of her insecurities and brutally thrown them back in her face. He’d wanted to hurt her, to push her away, and he’d succeeded. She knew there was more to it. The reason for the way he’d acted had something to do with what happened with Brian, she was sure of it. But her broken heart wouldn’t let her go to him, certainly wouldn’t let her beg him to talk to her—nor would her pride.
He’d pushed, forced her to open up to him, and she had, she’d let him in. That was the kicker, the part that stung more than anything else. Because in the end, he chose to let her go rather than do the same. She’d given him her trust, more than she’d ever thought she could give any man, and he’d stomped all over it.
A light knock sounded on her bedroom door. “You decent?” Piper called.
“Yeah.”