No one took any notice of me. I was merely a man in a raincoat following two women down a muddy sidewalk, past walls that had been scribbled on, past broken windows and through a smashed door to a hallway where three baby carriages were parked and some of the floor tiles were missing. It could have been a housing estate in south London or the Bronx. The elevator had been vandalized but it still worked. It was varnished wood, with initials scratched onto it. We took it to the top floor.
"Excuse me," Olga said. "I couldn't get my friend on the phone. I must talk to her first."
But by now I had imagined that we had come to a place where I was going to be threatened and probably robbed. There were three huge Muscovites behind the door. They would seize me and empty my pockets, and then blindfold me and drop me somewhere in Moscow. They didn't go in for kidnapping. I asked myself whether I was worried, and answered: Kind of.
I was somewhat reassured when I saw a surprised and sluttish-looking woman answer the door. Her hair was tangled, she wore a bathrobe. It was late afternoon — she had just woken up. She whispered a little to Olga and then she let us in.
Her name was Tatyana and she was annoyed at having been disturbed — she had been watching television in bed. I asked to use the toilet and made a quick assessment of the apartment. It was large — four big rooms and a central hall with bookshelves. All the curtains were drawn. It smelled of vegetables and hair spray and that unmistakable odor that permeates places in which there are late-sleepers — the smell of bedclothes and bodies and feety aromas.
"You want tea?"
I said yes, and we all sat in the small kitchen. Tatyana brushed her hair and put on makeup as she boiled water in a kettle and made tea.
There were magazines on the table — two oldish copies of Vogue, and last month's Tatler and Harper's Bazaar. Seeing them in that place gave me what I was sure would be a lasting hatred for those magazines.
"My friend from Italy brings them for me," Tatyana said.
"She has many foreign friends," Olga said. "That is why I wanted you to meet her. Because you are our foreign friend. You want to change rubles?"
I said no — there was nothing I wanted to buy.
"We can find something for you," Olga said, "and you can give us U.S. dollars."
"What are you going to find?"
"You like Natasha. Natasha likes you. Why don't you make love to her?"
I stood up and went to the window. The three women stared at me, and when I looked at Natasha she smiled demurely and batted her eyelashes. Beside her was her shopping basket with a box of detergent, some fresh spinach wrapped in newspaper, some cans of food, a pack of plastic clothespins and a box of disposable diapers.
"Here?" I said. "Now?"
They all smiled at me. Out the window I saw people sweeping the sidewalks, raking leaves and shoveling up piles of rubbish — a little unselfish demonstration of civic pride for Lenin's birthday.
"How much will it cost me to make love to Natasha?"
"One hundred and seventy U.S. dollars."
'That's rather a precise figure," I said. "How did you arrive at that price?"
'That's how much a cassette recorder costs at the Berioska shop."
"I'll think about it."
"You have to decide now," Olga said sternly. "Do you have a credit card?"
"You take credit cards?"
"No, the Berioska shop can."
'That's an awful lot of money, Olga."
"Hah!" Tatyana jeered. "My boyfriends give me radios, tape recorders, cassettes, clothes — thousands of dollars. And you're arguing about a few hundred dollars."
"Listen, I'm not boasting — believe me. But if I like someone I don't usually buy her before we go to bed. In America we do it for fun."
Olga said, "If we don't have dollars we can't buy radios at the Berioska. It closes at six o'clock. What's wrong?"
"I don't like being hurried."
"All this talk! You could have finished by now!"
I hated this and had a strong desire to get away from the nagging. It was hot in the kitchen, the tea was bitter, all those people raking leaves sixteen floors down depressed me.
I said, "Why don't we go to the Berioska shop first?"
Tatyana dressed and we found a taxi. It was a twenty-minute ride and well after five by the time we arrived. But for me it was simply a way of saving face — and saving money. I had been disgusted with myself back there at the apartment.
Before we went into the shop the three women started bickering. Olga said that it was all my fault for not making love to Natasha when I should have. Tatyana had to meet her daughter at school, Natasha was due home because she was going to the Black Sea tomorrow with her husband and small child — and was counting on having a cassette recorder; and Olga herself had to be home to rook dinner. Vremya, Natasha said, vremya. Time, time.
I had never seen such expensive electronic equipment — overpriced radios and tape decks, a Sony Walkman for $300.
"Natasha wants one of those."
Olga was pointing to a $200 cassette machine.
"That's a ridiculous price."
"It's a good cassette. Japanese."
I was looking at Natasha and thinking how thoroughly out of touch these people were with market forces.
"Vremya," Natasha said urgently.
"These are nice," I began trying on the fur hats. "Wouldn't you like one of these?"
Olga said, "You must buy something now. Then we go."
And I imagined it — the cassette recorder in a Berioska bag, and the dash to Tatyana's, and the fumble upstairs with Natasha panting vremya, vremya, and then off I'd go, saying to myself: You've just been screwed.
I said, "Tatyana, your daughter's waiting at school. Olga, your husband's going to want his dinner on time. And Natasha, you're very nice, but if you don't go home and pack you'll never make it to the Black Sea with your husband."
"What are you doing?"
"I have an appointment," I said, and left, as the Berioska shop was closing.
I went to the Bolshoi, and I noticed at the coat check and the buffet and the bar, Russian women gave me frank looks. It was not lust or romance, merely curiosity because they had spotted a man who probably had hard currency. It was not the sort of look women usually offered. It was an unambiguous lingering gaze, a half smile that said: Alay be we can work something out.
Moscow had a chastening effect on the tour group. They became very quiet and rather wary. They seemed actually afraid — something I had not expected. Was it the glowering soldiers and police? Or perhaps the repeated security checks, and having to show your hotel ID card before you were allowed into the lobby? Or was it the big bare buildings and wide streets? Ashley said he felt very small in Moscow.
Kicker winked and told me that in his three days in Moscow he had not left the hotel. He said he was afraid of being picked up and never heard of again.
"Why would they do that?"
"I was a Marine," he said. "They kill you for things like that in Russia. Let's get out of here. That's what I say."
It was a dark rainy afternoon when we set off from Yaroslav Station on the Trans-Siberian. The people in the group were nervous and chatty — glad to be going but apprehensive about what it would be like. Some had never spent a night on a train. They were faced with four nights to Irkutsk, living at close quarters — Americans in one compartment, British in another, Australians in a third, the nameless French foursome together. From the moment I was assigned to my compartment I knew it would be a splendid trip: I was alone. I had my Polish provisions, and chocolate and champagne that 1 had bought in Moscow. 1 had books, and my shortwave radio. I was looking forward to four days of bliss.