I’m at the bottom of the staircase stretching, and she’s still waiting up top. Where’s the playful girl from ten minutes ago?
“You coming?”
Whatever had been bothering her seems to vanish as she puts her smile back on and bounces down to me. “Not yet,” she mumbles as she descends the stairs. It’s clear she was talking to herself, not realizing that her double meaning was loud and echoing in my own ears. I instantly get a semi erection at the image of those intense eyes glossing over in ecstasy, her lips parted and my name falling off her tongue.
Standing close, she places a hand on my shoulder for support as she grabs her foot to stretch. Her head is right under my chin, her soft scent surrounding me. Gently I hold onto her arms and keep her steady as she changes legs. The urge to lean down and kiss her overwhelms me as I hold her delicate shoulders, her bottom lip secure under her front teeth as she continues to stretch.
She’s stunning; her long dark hair is pulled back, her eyes deep in concentration on what she’s doing. I want to tell her how beautiful she is, caught up in this moment with her. The words are on the tip of my tongue when she steps back and pats my ass, taking off at a slow jog. I smile to myself and watch her from behind. Next time she touches my ass, I’m kissing her, no questions asked.
She’s keeping up with me stride for stride as we take off down the beach path. Her breath is coming in gasps, and a sheen of sweat has begun beading on her forehead. I’m barely breaking a sweat, but I’ll get my workout in tomorrow morning at the track, or if I’m lucky, maybe tonight between my sheets. Looking down at her from the corner of my eye, I’m happy to see that she’s now more relaxed.
“How’s the girlfriend search?”
I almost trip on that damn tree root.
“In progress.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.” She’s having a hard time talking, winded from our pace and I think I should speed us up further so she can’t talk at all.
“I’m working on a few prospects at the moment. If any of them pan out I’ll let you know.”
She rolls her eyes and I want to throw her in the sand and kiss her, make her forget she asked me a question in the first place.
“Do you always run at night?” she asks between labored breaths. What’s with the twenty questions?
“No. I’m a morning person.”
Her eyes dart in my direction, as a curious look crosses her face.
“You have a dirty mind, Green Eyes.”
Bumping into me, she argues the topic, barely getting her words out she’s straining so hard. “How do you know,” she takes in a big breath, “what was on my mind?”
“Everything you think is written all over your face. And for your information, yes, I love the mornings.”
She stops mid-stride and bends over in laughter, her arms across her midsection as she tries to catch her breath. Suddenly she’s in the sand not even trying to get a handle on the giggles erupting from the depth of her gut. Sand is in her hair and sticks to the sweat that’s covering her skin. Her cheeks were already a rosy color and now they’re turning bright red.
I sit down beside her, my arms propped up on my knees waiting for her to calm down.
When she finally gets a handle on herself, she lies flat on her back and stares up at the sky, her eyes suddenly far away, looking like they’re searching for answers to some unasked question. “My ex was a morning person too. I loved it. It’s quiet outside, and still dark in the bedroom. It’s like a secret time where you feel like you’re the only two people on the planet awake and you’re sharing a piece of yourself with each other. A silent communication that only the two of you can understand.”
Unexpected sadness washes over me listening to Addison long for a situation that clearly doesn’t exist in her life anymore. Whoever her ex is must be a real asshole.
She deserves better than an asshole.
She deserves me.
Picking up her hand, I rest it in my own and sweep my thumb along the lines in her palm. Gently she closes her fingers over mine.
“Are you still in love with the asshole?”
Her eyes close and she takes a deep calming breath.
“I loved him for so long, I don’t know how not to love him anymore.” She hasn’t looked at me and this is the most information she’s ever shared about herself. I know she’s an attorney, she likes to read pornographic romance novels and watch people battle it out on reality shows. She likes my body and she likes ridiculously funny mugs, but life has clearly thrown her a curve ball or two and she’s not sure how to handle it. I’m unapologetically drawn to her and even though I have an eight-year-old girl who needs me more, there has to be room in my life for Addison too.
“You find someone new to love, Addison. That’s how.”
She’s silent and I think I’ve lost her, her mind elsewhere. “Have you ever wanted to hit the restart button?” she asks.
“On life?”
Her head nods, and the sand underneath her moves in all directions.
In this moment, I know Addison and I were always supposed to meet. Whether she needs me or I need her, our lives were meant to intersect.
“Damian, you need to get your shit together. Your soccer career’s gone. Deal with it.” I want to punch Reed in the face. He just barged in my room and is opening all my blinds, the bright sunlight hitting me directly in the eyes.
“Close the fucking blinds asshole.” I can’t stand the light, would live in the dark if it were possible.
“Blinds stay open. And it reeks in here. Open a damn window every now and then.”
Throwing the covers over my face I attempt to go back to sleep.
“I’m not going to sit back and watch you piss the rest of your life away. Get off your fucking ass. We’re going to the track.”
I throw the covers back and display my crippled leg, in a splint from my hip down to my toes.
“Do your arms work?” What the hell is he asking me?
“I asked you a question. Do your arms work goddammit?”
Not answering I glare back at him.
“Get dressed. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”
This feels like the worst idea in the world. I’ve been out of the hospital nine months and while my insides are in perfect working order, I have a completely fucked up leg. The doctor says there will be minimal scarring on the outside, but the inside is a mess. I know I’ve been a pain in the ass to live with. I kicked my mom out more times than I can remember and I heard Reed promise her he’d make sure I didn’t shrivel up and die. But the track? That’s the last place I want to be headed right now.
“Get out of the car.”
“No.”
“Get out or I’m dragging you out and leaving you on the ground to fend for yourself.”
He throws my door open and tosses my crutches on the ground in front of me as he walks away. Grasping onto the sides of the car I swing my legs around and place each of my feet on the dusty black pavement. Bending down I pick up the crutches one at a time and somehow miraculously get myself to a standing position.
It’s hot, and I’m already sweating from the small exertion of getting out of the car. My muscles are weak, my mind even weaker. I make a promise to myself right then and there that I’m going to heal my broken leg. That I’m going to make it stronger than it was before the accident, for the sole purpose of kicking Reed’s ugly ass.
As I get to a fully standing position, the smell of fresh cut grass and red dirt almost makes me sick. I can’t be here, pretending my life didn’t drastically change almost a year ago. I know I need to do something with my life, but this isn’t it. This is not me. I feel like a stranger trapped in my own body and I have no idea how to fix my life.