“His name’s Damian Walker.” I take a sip of my own coffee as we eat breakfast and enjoy the view of the ocean in front of us. They had both cancelled on me last night, and I was left hashing out my Matt disaster on my own. That’s never a good scenario.
Luckily, I had the mental image of Damian’s body to distract my mind from obsessing about how I was going to spend the next five years extracting Matt from my memory. There’s no question, someone like Damian would do miracles for erasing ex-boyfriends, but dipping my toes in that water would only complicate my life further. While having a casual fling with my sexy neighbor would be a great addition to check off my bucket list, it’s not the best idea for keeping up neighborly relations.
Well, maybe it is, but not the type of long term relations I’m looking for.
The fact that my mind had been vividly running through every detail of Damian’s bare chest since yesterday morning is a small fact I’d like to keep to myself. I had absolutely been checking out his abs and his sweaty body. He’s built, really freaking built, with the abs of a warrior. I hadn’t noticed at first, but he has a scar that trails the length of his torso, from his armpit down to his hip. It’s blended into his skin and must have been there a while, but it makes him look fiercer, sexier, and I want to touch it, somehow soothe the jagged marks on his skin.
He has a small amount of dark hair on his chest, a real man, not some metro sexual who likes to get his nails done. No, Damian Walker is all male, with flexing muscles, dark olive skin, and a sexy as sin grin that had my panties melting right off my body. But he’s also my neighbor and needs to stay in the look-don’t-touch category.
“Hey.”
The deep masculine voice catches me off guard, and I look around for the owner until my eyes land on the abs I’d spent the night dreaming about. “Hi.”
Damian is standing on his balcony, and as luck would have it, our balconies are adjoined with a small iron railing separating them.
He’s sporting that grin, the one that lights up his dark eyes and has me grinning in return. Those dark eyes dart to my coffee mug, and suddenly, he’s tilting his head in confusion. “What’s on your mug?”
I’m perplexed for a moment until I realize the coffee cup I chose this morning might shock and horrify my new neighbor. It’s pink, well flesh color really, the handle is thick, and curves up to the rim of the cup, the top looking very much like the phallic symbol that it is. “It’s um . . . it’s a penis.”
Getting a closer look, his eyes squint, and his nostrils slightly flare. “I guess I could have figured that out on my own.”
“Yeah. My dad owned a collection of the world’s most inappropriate coffee mugs.” Scratching the back of my head in a somewhat horrified wonder, I continue to try and grasp for a reason why a sane woman would be drinking coffee out of a penis-shaped mug. “Luckily for me, I inherited them when he died. I’m so used to them I don’t pay attention to which one I grab anymore.”
“I’m sorry.” His grin is gone, and he’s looking intently into my eyes, it’s slightly intimidating.
“Oh, it’s fine. The mugs really don’t bother me.”
Shaking his head and gently laughing, he continues to hold my stare. “I was talking about your dad. I’m sorry he passed away.”
All humor is gone. I’m sorry he passed away too, but after the weekend I just had, discussing the devastating loss of my father is not high on my agenda. Nodding at his genuine sympathy, I quickly change the subject.
“These are my friends, Mia Sanders and Paige Donahue. Guys, this is my new neighbor, Damian.”
Paige throws her long blonde hair over her shoulder and stands, shaking his hand. She eyes him curiously . . . slowly, up and down her eyes travel. She turns and gives me a thumbs-up. “Yep, he’s what I’m talking about.”
Kill. Me. Now.
He flashes a knowing grin as his eyes stay locked on mine. Heat begins to crawl up my neck and into my cheeks. Throwing a towel over his shoulder, he pulls a phone from the pocket in his running shorts. “Addison, give me your cell.”
“My phone?” Why would he need my phone?
Paige rolls her eyes and grabs my phone off the glass table handing it to him. I’m watching him—we’re all watching him as he begins to play with the screen on my cell. His phone starts to ring. Just as quickly, it stops, and he holds mine out to me.
Slowly, I lift my hand and begin to reach for it, our fingers connecting for a brief moment, his thumb sliding gently over mine.
But that’s all it takes for my mind to want more.
It’s a slight touch, almost an accident, but there’s no mistaking the lingering caress as his hand slips away from mine.
My breath catches for brief second and my heart slightly jumps.
Lust is the strangest emotion in the world. I don’t know this man standing in front of me, but clearly, my body wants to get to know him personally. The smallest contact, the slightest grin, and I instantly want him. All he’d have to do is ask.
“You have my number . . . in case there’s an emergency . . . or something.”
“Like maybe she needs help extinguishing the fire you just started?” Paige questions.
His eyes lower at her comment, and an amused chuckle leaves his chest.
“I’ll catch you later, Green Eyes,” he says, before turning and taking off.
“Did he just call you Green Eyes?” Mia asks.
I nod.
“That’s so sweet. I agree with Paige, he’ll wipe Matt from your memory. You should dive right into that.”
I’m sure for one night, Damian could briefly erase Matt straight from my mind, but getting him out of my heart is an entirely different story. Our relationship ended so suddenly. There was no fight, no cosmic event that clued me into the fact it was time to take a break, just a boy who wanted to fly off and become a man. I had to let him go, trusting he’d one day find me again. I never dreamed he’d cut me off . . . until he did. This wasn’t supposed to be my life.
“No way, Addison. Stop frowning.”
“I’m not frowning.”
“You have a sex god living next door who clearly likes to flirt with you. No frowning. It’s not allowed.”
“I didn’t frown.” I continue to protest.
“Um, yeah you did. What’s your problem?” Mia asks.
“Matt’s my problem.”
“Addy! Matt’s an asshole. Let it go.”
“I can’t. It was only two nights ago I was in Matt’s bed. Not like I can just move on.”
“Matt’s married,” Paige points out. “He’s moved on, it’s time you do, too.”
I’ve spent the past five years wondering what Matt was doing, if he ever thought about me the way I had him. Wishing my life could have been different. It’s amazing how one person burrows into the fractured parts of your heart, even when they’re the one responsible for creating the cracks in the first place.
“You know . . .” I have to think hard about how I want this to come across. Since the day the three of us got lost trying to find Human Anatomy 101 we’ve never kept secrets from each other, there’s no need to start now. “I’m not one hundred percent sure if Matt showed up on my doorstep divorced, I wouldn’t take him back. I may even go for separated.”
Paige rolls her eyes, and Mia sits forward in her chair, her hand on her chin listening to every word.
“It’s the dream. You know? The life I’d conjured up and never got to live. I want my dream.”
All is quiet, each of us deep in thought, and I’m lost to the memory of a night that should feel like closure, instead it feels like a new wound that will probably take another five years to heal.
“You need to get laid,” Paige announces.
“I’m pretty sure that’s what happened this weekend,” I reply.
She’s shaking her head. “Meaningless, no strings attached, fuckery,” she defines.