We spend the next month getting to know each other. She only lives an hour away in Ventura, working as a server in a restaurant. While I had the luxury of living off my dad’s money, Megan and her mom have always struggled. I can’t help but feel slightly guilty that we have led such drastically different lives.
“Can you pick me up from work tonight?” Megan’s soft voice asks over the phone.
“Sure, what time?”
“Two.”
“In the morning?”
She laughs. “Yes, that’s the time the restaurant closes.” Feeling a sense of protection, I agree to meet her and begin to formulate a plan as to how I can get her a better living situation without clueing my family in on her existence.
“I want you to quit your job,” I say when she slides into the passenger seat. “I’ll pay for you to go to college, our dad won’t know anything about you, but my trust fund should be yours as well.”
“Damian—”
“You can give me every excuse in the book, Megan, but my money is your money so start looking at colleges you want to apply to. I don’t want you working until two in the morning.”
“Damian.”
I look over at her, startled by the grave tone in her voice.
“I can’t go to college.”
“You’re smart, Megan. I’ll help you apply, stick by your side every step of the way.”
She doesn’t say anything and I begin to shift lanes wondering why she’s suddenly so quiet.
She begins to cry and I’m trying to figure out what just happened. I offered her a chance at a better life and it broke her down. “Megan, what’s going on? Is there something you’re not telling me?” I reach over and place a hand on her knee. She takes it and squeezes. “You can tell me, Megan. I am your big brother, you know.”
Wiping at her eyes, she gently chuckles. “Damian,” I quickly look over at her, the panic rising inside my stomach, the acute need to find out what has her so upset. “I can’t go to college because there’s something . . . someone . . .” She’s stuttering, and I take my eyes off the road hoping some sort of eye contact will help her move forward and tell me what she needs to.
“It’s okay, Megan. Tell me what it is.”
“There’s someone – Damian watch out!”
Deafening metal on metal blasts through my ears. A blinding light clouding my vision and a throbbing pain throughout my entire body. A horn is blaring, and all I feel is total confusion.
I think my leg is split in two and my breath is coming in short gasps. I never realized how loud pain was before. But it pulses in your ears, vibrates through your entire body. I look down to my right and my heart moves up my throat. “Megan!” I manage to croak out. “Shit! Megan!” She’s not moving, her hair is fanned in all directions and she’s face down, her body at an unnatural angle, blood soaking her blonde hair.
My last thought before I pass out is that I would take her secret to the grave. My father will never know she existed. He doesn’t deserve to know.
Tears are streaming down Addison’s face. “She was going to tell you about Emily.”
“Probably, but she never got the chance. It took me another three years to discover Emily existed.”
“How did you find her?”
“Reed found her.”
“You said that before.”
I stay silent, playing back the story I’d told her in the hospital so many weeks ago. Trying to stick as close to the truth then as I possibly could. “I needed a wake-up call. And finding out a little girl was orphaned in that accident was more of a rebirth than a wake up. The minute I knew she existed, my entire world changed.”
“You’re her uncle.”
I nod.
“It took me two years to clean up my act, start my business and feel confident that I could go after her and get custody. But by the time my attorneys had an argument in place, she was diagnosed with bone cancer and Thomas took over her case. When my attorneys applied for custody, he outright denied them.”
“Thomas was an orphan too.”
I sit up surprised by her sudden revelation. “How do you know that?”
“Veronica, the only other female attorney in the office, told me the day I got fired. So, since he blames you for Megan’s death, there’s no way he’d ever agree to give her to you, but Damian, you’re her family. You can take custody.”
“No, I can’t. Without bringing my dad into it, there’s no proof.”
Addison wraps her arms around me, her face buried in my chest. “I’m so sorry, Damian.”
I hold her as she cries and for the millionth time, try to think of something I could have done differently that night. But I always get to the same conclusion, I can only perfect the life I have now, the life that feels like it’s falling apart. I need to find a way to piece it back together. I let Addison in, gave her everything I had, my heart, my soul, my past. I can only hope it’s enough to convince her to choose us.
“Don’t leave tomorrow, Addison.”
I wake with a start. It’s dark in Damian’s bedroom, the sun still asleep for the night. He is peaceful beside me, his hand cupping my breast, his breathing deep and rhythmic.
My fingers trace the outline of his, and he holds me tighter, his sleep-induced mind grasping firmer onto me. Settling back into his warm embrace, I replay Megan’s tragic story . . . Damian’s story, and my heart hurts for both of them . . . for Emily. So many ‘what if’ scenarios could have changed the course of that doomed night, but life happens for a reason, and Damian’s right, we need to love the life we have—be grateful for the good and the bad.
He asked me to stay. His last words a plea, begging me not to do this to us. I don’t want to leave. I’m in love with him, it’s as simple as that, but I don’t know how to fix us. We somehow need to find each other again. But that’s not going to happen if I stay. He needs to focus on Emily and I need to focus on me, as selfish as that is.
Turning in his heavy sleep leaden arms I wrap myself around him one last time and place my lips right below his ear. The scruff on his cheek brushes against mine and I close my eyes, capturing this moment and willing my mind to hold onto it until I can see him again. “I love you,” I whisper. “I’ve loved you for a long time. Please wait for me. I promise, this isn’t goodbye, but a chance for us to start again. Better next time, with nothing holding us back.” Gently I kiss his warm skin, my nose brushing against the underside of his jaw. He twitches, his arms tightening around me, but his breathing stays deep and steady, his eyes still closed.
Quietly sliding out of his embrace, I gather my clothes and leave his apartment for the last time, effectively breaking both our hearts.
My apartment is cold and eerily silent as I enter. Boxes piled high, walls void of any decoration and all my memories securely packed away. An empty feeling settles deep in my gut, and it feels as if I’ve already left, like I’m a stranger in the place I’ve always called home.
Stripping the bed bare, I roll up the sheets, packing them away and lie down on the mattress.
I must have fallen asleep, as I’m startled awake by my front door slamming shut. Jumping off the bed, I race into the living room and see Damian storming towards me. He doesn’t stop, but wraps his arms around my body and presses me up against the nearest wall. His lips find mine, his tongue glides against my own, and a groan releases from deep in his chest.