The three of us were walking down the street towards the Place des Ternes, my father a few yards ahead, as though ashamed to find himself in such miserable company. He quickened his pace and I saw him disappear into the métro. I thought that I would never see him again. In fact, I was convinced of it.
The old veteran gripped my arm, sobbed on my shoulder. We sat on a bench on the Avenue de Wagram. He was determined to recount in detail about the ‘terrible ordeal’ of the White Army, their flight towards Turkey. Eventually these heroes had washed up in Constantinople, in their ornate uniforms. What a terrible shame! General Baron Wrangel, apparently, was more than six foot six.
You haven’t changed much. Just now, when you came into the Clos-Foucré, you shambled exactly as you did ten years ago. You sat down opposite me and I was about to order you a double bourbon, but I thought it would be out of place. Did you recognise me? It’s impossible to tell with you. What would be the point of shaking your shoulders, bombarding you with questions? I don’t know if you’re worth the interest I take in you.
One day, I suddenly decided to come looking for you. I was in pretty low spirits. It has to be said that things were taking a worrying turn and that there was a stink of disaster in the air. We were living in ‘strange times’. Nothing to hold on to. Then I remembered I had a father. Of course I often thought about ‘the unfortunate incident in the George V métro’, but I didn’t harbour a grudge. There are some people you can forgive anything. Ten years had passed. What had become of you? Maybe you needed me.
I asked tea-room waitresses, barmen and hotel porters. It was Francois, at the Silver Ring, who put me on your trail. You went about — it appeared — with a merry band of night revellers whose leading lights were Messieurs Murraille and Marcheret. If the latter name meant nothing to me, I knew the former by reputation: a hack journalist given to blackmail and bribery. A week later, I watched you all go into a restaurant on the Avenue Kléber. I hope you’ll forgive my curiosity, but I sat at the table next to yours. I was excited at having found you and intended to tap you on the shoulder, but gave up on the idea when I saw your friends. Murraille was sitting on your left and, at a glance, I found his sartorial elegance was suspect. You could see he was trying to ‘cut a dash’. Marcheret was saying to all and sundry that ‘the foie gras was inedible’. And I remember a red-haired woman and a curly-haired blonde, both oozing moral squalor from every pore. And, I am sorry to say, you didn’t exactly look to be at your best. (Was it the Brylcreemed hair, that haunted look?) I felt slightly sick at the sight of you and your ‘friends’. The curly-haired blonde was ostentatiously waving banknotes, the red-haired woman was rudely haranguing the head waiter and Marcheret was making his rude jokes. (I got used to them later.) Murraille spoke of his country house, where it was ‘so pleasant to spend the weekend’. I eventually gathered that this little group went there every week. That you were one of them. I couldn’t resist the idea of joining you in this charming rustic retreat.
And now that we are sitting face to face like china dogs and I can study your great Levantine head at leisure, I AM AFRAID. What are you doing in this village in the Seine-et-Marne with these people? And how exactly did you get to know them? I must really love you to follow you along this treacherous path. And without the slightest acknowledgement from you! Maybe I’m wrong, but your position seems to me to be very precarious. I assume you’re still a stateless person, which is extremely awkward ‘in the times we live in’. I’ve lost my identity papers too, everything except the ‘diploma’ to which you attached so much importance and which means so little today as we experience an unprecedented ‘crisis of values’. Whatever it takes, I will try to stay calm.
Marcheret. He claps you on the back and calls you ‘Chalva, old man’. And to me: ‘Good evening, Monsieur Alexandre, will you have an Americano?’ — and I’m forced to drink this sickly cocktail in case he takes offence. I’d like to know what your business is with this ex-Legionary. A currency racket? The sort of stock market scams you used to make? ‘And two more Americanos!’ he yells at Grève, the maître d’hotel. Then turning to me: ‘Slips down like mother’s milk, doesn’t it?’ I drink it down, terrified. Beneath his joviality, I suspect that he is particularly dangerous. It’s a pity that our relationship, yours and mine, doesn’t extend beyond strict politeness, because otherwise I’d warn you about this guy. And about Murraille. You’re wrong to hang around with such people, ‘papa’. They’ll end up doing you a nasty turn. Will I have the strength to play my role as guardian angel to the bitter end? I don’t get any encouragement from you. I scan your face for a friendly look or gesture (even if you don’t recognize me, you might at least notice me), but nothing disturbs your Ottoman indifference. I ask myself what I’m doing here. All these drinks are ruining my health, for a start. And the pseudo-rustic décor depresses me terribly. Marcheret makes me promise to try a ‘Pink Lady’, whose subtle pleasures he introduced to ‘all his Bouss-Bir friends’. I’m afraid he’s going to start talking about the Legion and his malaria again. But no. He turns to you:
‘Well, have you thought about it, Chalva?’
You answer in an almost inaudible voice:
‘Yes, I’ve thought about it, Guy.’
‘We’ll split it fifty-fifty?’
‘You can count on me, Guy.’
‘I do a lot of business with the Baron,’ Marcheret tells me. ‘Don’t I, Chalva? Let’s drink to this! Grève, three vermouths please!’
We raise our glasses.
‘Soon we’ll be celebrating our first billion!’
He gives you a hearty slap on the back. We should get away from this place as quickly as possible. But where would we go? People like you and me are likely to be arrested on any street corner. Not a day goes by without police round-ups at train stations, cinemas and restaurants. Above all, avoid public places. Paris is like a great dark forest, filled with traps. We grope our way blindly. You have to admit it takes nerves of iron. And the heat doesn’t make things easier. I’ve never known such a sweltering summer. This evening, the temperature is stifling. Deadly. Marcheret’s collar is soaked with sweat. You’ve given up mopping your face and drops of sweat quiver for an instant at the end of your chin then drip steadily on to the table. The windows of the bar are closed. Not a breath of air. My clothes stick to my body as though I’d been caught in a downpour. Impossible to stand. Move an inch in this sauna and I would surely melt. But you don’t seem unduly bothered: I suppose you often got heatwaves like this in Egypt, huh? And Marcheret — he assures me that ‘it’s positively freezing compared with the desert’ and suggests I have another drink. No, really, I can’t drink any more. Oh come now, Monsieur Alexandre. . a little Americano. . I’m afraid of passing out. And now, through a misty haze, I see Murraille and Sylviane Quimphe coming towards us. Unless it is a mirage. (I’d like to ask Marcheret if mirages appear like that, through a mist, but I haven’t got the strength.) Murraille holds out his hand to me.
‘How are you, Serge?’
He calls me by my ‘Christian name’ for the first time; this familiarity makes me suspicious. As usual he’s wearing a dark sweater with a scarf tied round his neck. Sylviane Quimphe’s breasts are spilling out of her blouse and I notice that she isn’t wearing a bra, because of the heat. But then why does she still wear her jodhpurs and boots?
‘Shall we eat?’ suggests Murraille. ‘I’m starving.’
I manage to get to my feet. Murraille takes me by the arm: