“I’m a fast healer. Just so you know.”
He smiled uncertainly at me, taking my pulse and blood pressure. I lay back as he wrote a few notes on my chart. He kept giving me strange looks.
“What?” I asked.
“There are rumours that it was a grenade and you were in a gun battle.”
“Are there?”
He looked even more uncertain. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“I can, but I’d have to kill you if I do.”
The uncertainty changed to real fear, so I smiled in an attempt to make him feel better. I think I frightened him even more.
“Relax, doc. It was an accident in a kitchen.”
I don’t think I convinced him, but he left looking a little happier. I realised that I hadn’t a clue in which hospital I was. I rang the bell. The first nurse returned, looking as uncertain as the poor doctor.
“Which hospital is this?”
“St Marys, Paddington.”
“Thanks. Look, I don’t want the catheter, so can you take it away?”
“I’m afraid the doctors don’t want you going to the loo, so it stays.”
“Look, if you don’t take it out, I will, so be a good girl and pull the bloody thing out. If I can’t go to the loo, then give me a bottle or whatever, but I don’t want that inside me. Okay?”
“I’ll go check with the doctor,” she said, dashing out.
“Being a right royal pain in the arse, then?” said a new voice.
I turned my head.
“Carlene! How are you?”
“I’m fine, which is more than can be said of you,” she said coming over and kissing my cheek. She pulled a chair over and took my right hand. “I haven’t really thanked you properly for what you did, but I’m not sure I have the words.”
I smiled. “It’s what I do. So no thanks necessary.”
“Seriously, you saved my life. They were going to kill me, weren’t they?”
I looked her in the eyes and almost lied.
“Yes. After a day, they were going to take you to the river, shoot you and throw your body into the water. Mind you, the Afrikaner wanted some sexual perks first.”
“How do you know?”
“I heard them talking, that’s why I acted when I did instead of waiting.”
Carlene smiled weakly. “Well, I said I wanted to find out what it’s like in the field. I think I’ll stay in the stables from now on.”
“Yeah, best you do.”
“Oh, I brought you some flowers,” she said, holding up a bunch.
“Thanks, stick them in the basin. The nurse will put them in water later.”
“I spoke to the doctor, he seems pissed off with you.”
“I hope so. Shit, Carlene, there’s too much of the old Rob in me. I hate these places.”
“How are you?”
“Numb. They’ve sewn me up and pumped me full of painkillers and antibiotics. I’m supposed to sit here for a couple of days. It’s driving me nuts.”
“Can I bring you anything?”
“Are my clothes still in Paris?”
“No, Howard arranged for everything to be flown back. I have it all at my flat.”
“Could you be an angel and bring me some clothes and stuff.”
“Stuff?”
I grinned sheepishly. “Girl’s stuff. You know, make up and stuff.”
She laughed at me. “Anything else?”
“How about a portable DVD player and some decent movies?”
“What do you call decent movies?”
“Kelly’s Heroes, Shrek one and two, or any of Clint Eastwood’s spaghetti classics.”
“Not Sleepless in Seattle or You’ve got mail?”
“Huh?”
“Never mind. Okay, I’ll speak to Howard.”
“Thanks.”
“You loved it, didn’t you?”
I thought about her question for a moment. “Not love exactly, but it’s what I do.”
“You do it very well.”
“I was lucky. I nearly died.”
She shook her head. “No, you do it very well. I don’t think I realised exactly what you meant when we talked, you know, before. Now I do, I don’t know how you do it.”
“Neither do I. I think that’s the trick, as I just do it without thinking too much about the hows and whys.”
“Do you know how many men you’ve killed?”
I shook my head.
“I watched you. You never deliberately killed any of them, did you?”
I frowned, so she continued.
“You shot them and threw bombs at them, but it wasn’t to kill, but to achieve your objective, in this case, our survival. If they died, that was almost irrelevant to you. You just wanted to remove them as a threat to you and me.”
“So?”
“I don’t think I made that distinction before. I’ve been counselling and debriefing people for several years, but I only now understand the whole mind set.”
“How’s Jon?” I asked, to change the subject.
“He’s fine. He’s spent the day with Howard and his chums. I think we’re going to set up mother dearest.”
“We?” I asked, smiling.
She returned the smile. “Oh, I’m part of this now.”
“Good. I’m just pleased you’re okay.”
“Oh, I forgot. Howard thought you might need this,” she said, handing me my mobile phone. I checked it, and typically there was very little charge left. There was a missed call from David Lyddall, the vet.
“Thanks. Could you bring in the charger? It should be with my stuff.”
“Of course. Oh, and Rebecca?”
“What?”
“You know I said you were too pretty and feminine for me to be interested?”
“Yeah, you also said you didn’t want to get involved with a patient.”
“Maybe I was wrong,” she said with a shy smile.
I shook my head.
“No, Carlene, you were perfectly right. I’m flattered and pleased, but we both know it wouldn’t work. You know what I do, so I don’t ever want to have a relationship with someone who understands my work so precisely. Besides, I’m beginning to think I’ve decided which side of the fence I’m falling on.”
“Not the girl’s side, right?”
“Right. But I’m not dismissing it out of hand, but I get different feelings with men.”
“I just thought I’d offer.”
“I understand, but if it’s okay, I’d rather have you as a friend.”
“That’ll suit me very well,” she said, smiling and standing up. She leaned over and kissed my cheek again.
“I’d better go and get your stuff,” she said, emphasising the word ‘stuff’. “I’ll be back later.”
“Thanks, take care.”
“And you.”
I was alone again with my thoughts. The idea of a sexual relationship with Carlene was attractive, but somehow it didn’t appeal to me as much as I felt it ought to. I really had changed an awful lot, and was only beginning to realise exactly how much. I closed my eyes as my thoughts turned towards the son I’d never see again. Tears squeezed through my eyelids as I drifted off.
“My God, she looks so beautiful! It’s so hard to imagine that she could have done what she did!”
The voice was Jon’s, and I guessed he was talking to Howard. Without opening my eyes I said, “Hello Boss, thanks for the chocolates.”
Only then did I open my eyes to see a shocked Jon and a smiling Howard. The latter placed the box of chocolates onto my table and sat next to me on the bed.
“Hello Rebecca, now why are you being such a pain to the good doctors?”
I simply grinned and waved at Jon.
“Hi Jon, are you okay?”
“I’m fine, but how are you?”
“I’m okay now. Well, boss, come to take me home?” I said to Howard.
“No. You, my dear, are staying here and, as from now, are going to stop being a stroppy cow. Hear me?”
“I hear you, boss,” I said with a grin.
The nurse returned with the doctor.
“I understand you want the catheter removed?” he asked.
“Please.”
“I’d rather you kept it for twenty four hours. That way you won’t move so much and disturb the various repairs.”