'Out of the question,' he told Schnapps, 'I've got thirty-two customers that day and besides I never hang singles. I can't remember when I last did one man. I always do mine in batches of six at a time and in any case I have my reputation to think of. I hang more people every year than any other executioner in the world, more than all the other executioners in the free world put together as a matter of fact, and if it once got about that I hanged a single man, people would think I was losing my touch.'
As a last resort Governor Schnapps raised the question of privilege with the State Attorney.
'I can't see why this man Hazelstone should be privileged,' he said. 'Everyone else is hanged in Pretoria. It seems wrong to me that a fellow who knocks off twenty-one policemen should be entitled to privileges which are denied to ordinary common-or-garden murderers.'
'I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about it,' the State Attorney told him. 'Judge Schalkwyk allowed the privilege to stand and I can't alter his decision.'
'But how did the Hazelstone family ever get the right to be hanged in Piemburg in the first place?'
The State Attorney looked up the records.
'It dates from the speech made by Sir Theophilus at the opening of the prison in 1888,' he told the Governor. 'In the course of that speech Sir Theophilus said, and I quote, 'Capital punishment and flogging are essential to the peace and tranquillity of Zululand. They confer upon the native races a sense of the innate superiority of the white man and in declaring this prison open I should like to say that it is my considered opinion that the very future of white civilization in this dark continent depends, one might almost say, hangs, on the frequent use of the scaffold we have been privileged to see here today. It will be a sad day for this country when the gallows trap falls for the last time and one that I trust no member of my family will live to see.' Unquote.'
'All very commendable,' said the Governor, 'but I don't see that it necessarily means that we have to keep the gallows for the exclusive use of the Hazelstone family.'
The State Attorney picked up another document.
'Now here we have the statement of the late Judge Hazelstone made at the time all executions were transferred to Pretoria. The Judge was asked what he thought his father had meant in his speech. His answer was, I quote 'It's perfectly obvious. The gallows and the Hazelstone family stand or fall together. My father believed and rightly believed that our family should set an example to Zululand. I can think of no finer example than that of having our own private gallows in Piemburg Prison.' Unquote. Pretty conclusive, don't you think?'
Governor Schnapps had to concede that it was and returned to the prison still faced with the problem of finding an executioner.
In the end it was Konstabel Els who became the official hangman. The Konstabel was still happily contemplating how he was going to spend the reward money he had earned from the capture of Miss Hazelstone and was looking forward to the ceremony in the police drill hall when he would be presented with the cheque by the Commissioner of Police. He had decided it was worth the price asked by the taxidermist at the Piemburg Museum to have Toby stuffed.
'I'm having the Dobermann stuffed,' he announced to Kommandant van Heerden one day.
'Then I expect you wouldn't mind earning some pocket money,' said the Kommandant.
'How?' asked Els suspiciously.
'Nothing arduous,' said the Kommandant. 'It certainly doesn't require any effort on your part. In fact when I come to think of it I wonder you haven't tried your hand at it already. I can't think of a better man for the job.'
'Hm,' said Els who didn't like the Kommandant's beguiling tone.
'I'd say you've probably got a natural talent for it.'
Els tried to think what dirty jobs needed doing round the police station. 'What is it?' he asked shortly.
'It's the sort of job you'd really like,' said the Kommandant, 'and for once you would be doing it legally.'
Els tried to think of something he would really like which wasn't legal. Having it off with black women seemed the most obvious thing.
'Of course you'd get the usual fee,' continued the Kommandant.
'The usual fee?'
'Twenty-five rand, I think it is,' said the Kommandant, 'though it may have gone up.'
'Hm,' said Els who was beginning to think his ears were deceiving him.
'Not bad for a bit of fun,' said the Kommandant, who knew that Konstabel Els had shot at least fifteen people in the course of duty and twenty-one for pure pleasure. 'Of course the method would take some getting used to.'
Konstabel Els searched his memory to find some method he hadn't used. As far as he knew he'd used every position in the book and a few more besides.
'What method had you in mind?' he inquired.
The Kommandant was getting fed up with Els' diffidence.
'With a rope round the neck and a ten-foot drop,' he snapped. 'That ought to do for a start.'
Els was appalled. If that was how it was going to start, he hated to think what the finish would be like.
'Wouldn't that be a bit dangerous?' he said.
'Of course not. Safe as houses.'
It was not as safe as any house Konstabel Els could think of.
'Of course if you're scared,' began the Kommandant.
'I'm not scared,' said Els. 'If you really want me to do it, I will, but I'm not taking any responsibility for what will happen to the poor bitch. I mean you can't drop a woman ten feet with a rope tied round her neck without doing her some injury, not even a kaffir woman. And as for stuffing-'
'What the hell are you talking about, Els?' the Kommandant asked. 'Who said anything about women? I'm talking about hanging Jonathan Hazelstone. I'm offering you the job of hangman and you keep going on like a maniac about women. Are you feeling all right?'
'Yes sir. I am now,' said Els.
'Well, then will you do it or not?'
'Oh yes. I'll hang him all right. I don't mind doing that,' and Els had gone off to practise on the gallows at Piemburg Prison.
'I'm Executioner Els,' he announced grandly to the warder at the gate. 'I'm the official hangman.'
Left alone in his office Kommandant van Heerden listened to his heart. Ever since the night he had found himself alone in the garden of Jacaranda House, he had known that there was something seriously wrong with it.
'It's all that running about and jumping out of windows,' he said to himself. 'Bound to be bad for a man of my age.' He had visited his doctor several times only to be told that he needed to take more exercise.
'You must be mad,' the Kommandant told him. 'I've been running about all over the place.'
'You're overweight. That's the only thing wrong with you,' said the doctor.
'I've collapsed twice,' the Kommandant insisted. 'Once at Jacaranda House and the second time in court.'
'Probably bad conscience,' said the doctor cheerfully, and the Kommandant had gone away in a foul temper to take it out on Luitenant Verkramp.
Kommandant van Heerden's third seizure came during the ceremony in the drill hall at which the Commissioner of Police presented the reward to Konstabel Els. The Kommandant had regretted giving Els the reward as soon as he heard that it would be presented by the Commissioner before an audience of five hundred and seventy-nine policemen and their families. The prospect of Els standing up and making a speech of thanks was not one that Kommandant van Heerden could look forward to with any enthusiasm.
'Listen, Els,' he said before climbing on to the platform where the Commissioner was waiting. 'You don't have to say anything more than 'Thank you very much.' I don't want to listen to a long speech.'
Konstabel Els nodded. He wasn't given to making speeches, long or short. The two men entered the hall.
In the event, the evening was worse than even the Kommandant had anticipated. The Commissioner had just heard of the new honour conferred on Konstabel Els and he had decided to end his speech by announcing the news to the assembled men.