'Eyes right,' Miss Hazelstone shouted, and two hundred pairs of eyes fixed themselves manically on Dr Herzog. The Superintendent saluted.
'Eyes front,' and the squad marched on.
'Most impressive,' said Dr Herzog. 'What a pity we didn't think of this before.'
'I just hope we don't have cause to regret it,' said Dr von Blimenstein pessimistically.
As the day of the pageant approached, Miss Hazelstone had to deal with several problems. One was the question of assegais for the Zulu warriors. Dr Herzog was adamant.
'I'm not having hundreds of black patients running around brandishing spears. God alone knows what would happen.'
In the end the problem was solved by the purchase of one thousand rubber spears which had been used in the making of a film a year or two before.
Another problem centred round the question of the music and the sound effects to accompany the tableaux.
'I was thinking of the _1812 Overture'_ Miss Hazelstone explained to the conductor of the hospital band.
'We can't reach those heights,' the bandmaster objected, 'and in any case we haven't got a cannon.'
'We could use the field guns,' Miss Hazelstone said.
'We can't go round letting off loud bangs in the hospital grounds. It would have a terrible effect on the anxiety cases.'
In the end it was agreed that the band would restrict itself to simple marches like _Colonel Bogey_ and tunes like _Goodbye Dolly Gray_ and that a recording of the _1812 Overture_ should be played over loudspeakers to accompany the battle scenes.
A dress rehearsal was held the day before the pageant and Superintendent Herzog and the staff attended.
'Simply splendid,' Dr Herzog said afterwards. 'One has the feeling that one is actually present, it's so real.'
It was quite by chance that Kommandant van Heerden chose the afternoon of the pageant for his visit to the hospital. Unlike the Mayor of Piemburg and other notables, he had not been invited because it was felt that Miss Hazelstone might not like it.
'We don't want anything to put the old lady off her stride, and having the police here would only remind her of her brother's execution,' the Superintendent said.
As his car passed into the grounds of Fort Rapier Kommandant van Heerden noticed that a new air of festivity seemed to have come to the hospital.
'I hope it isn't too open,' he said to the driver who had replaced Konstabel Els, as the car passed under a banner which announced Open Day. They drove up to the parade ground which was decked with regimental flags and Kommandant van Heerden got out.
'Glad you could make it Kommandant,' Dr Herzog said, and led the way to the saluting base, where the Mayor and his party were already seated. The Kommandant looked nervously around as he took his seat.
'What's going on?' he asked one of the aldermen.
'It's some sort of publicity stunt to foster public interest in mental health,' the alderman said.
'Funny place to hold it,' said the Kommandant. 'I thought everyone up here was supposed to be barmy. Good heavens, look at those kaffirs.'
A detachment of schizophrenic Zulus marched across the parade ground to take up their position for the tableaux.
'Who the hell gave them those spears?'
'Oh it's all right, they're only rubber,' said the councillor.
The Kommandant sank down in his chair in horror. 'Don't tell me,' he said, 'this whole thing has been organized by Miss Hazelstone.'
'Right first time,' said the councillor. 'Put up the money herself. Just as well she did too. I hate to think what this little lot cost.'
Kommandant van Heerden wasn't listening. He rose from his chair and looked desperately round for some way of escaping, but the crowd round the saluting base was too dense to pass through, and in front the march-past had already begun. He sank back into his chair in despair.
As the band played the regiments formed up and marched towards the stand. Red-coated and surprisingly well drilled for their mental health, they swung past the Superintendent and at their head there marched the familiar figure of Miss Hazelstone. For a moment the Kommandant thought he was back in the hall at Jacaranda House, and staring once more at the portrait of Sir Theophilus. Miss Hazelstone's uniform was a replica of the one the Viceroy had worn in the painting. Her face was partially obscured by a plumed pith helmet but on her chest were the stars and medals of her grandfather's disastrous campaigns. Behind the first regiment which was the Welsh Guards, came the others, the county regiments of England, appropriately less in step than the Guards (it had been difficult to find enough compulsive cases to be really smart) but shuffling along with determination all the time. After them came the Scots regiments recruited from women patients wearing kilts and led by a chronic depressive playing the bagpipes. Last of all was a small detachment of frogmen in rubber suits with flippers who had difficulty keeping in step.
'A nice touch of modernity, don't you think?' Dr Herzog murmured to the Mayor as twenty crazed faces turned their masks towards the stand.
'I hope those kaffirs aren't going to come too close,' said the Mayor anxiously. There was no need to worry. The black lunatics were not allowed the privilege of marching past the stand. Miss Hazelstone was arranging them for the first tableau.
In the interval Kommandant van Heerden left his seat and spoke to the Superintendent.
'I thought I told you to keep Miss Hazelstone under close surveillance,' he said angrily.
'She's made remarkable progress since she has been here,' Dr Herzog answered. 'We like to see our patients taking an interest in their hobbies.'
'You may,' said the Kommandant, 'but I don't. Miss Hazelstone's hobbies happen to include murder and you go and let her organize a military parade. You must be out of your mind.'
'Nothing like allowing the patients to dramatize their aggressive tendencies,' said the Superintendent.
'She's done that quite enough already,' said the Kommandant. 'My advice is to stop this thing before it's too late.'
But already the first tableau had begun. A square of cardboard ox wagons stood in the centre of the parade ground and around them gathered the Zulu schizophrenics brandishing their spears. After several minutes the Zulus lay down on the tarmac in attitudes supposed to represent agonizing death.
'Blood River,' said the Superintendent.
'Very realistic,' said the Mayor.
'Bloody insane,' said Kommandant van Heerden.
A polite round of clapping greeted the end of the battle. For the next hour the history of South Africa unfurled before the spectators in a series of blood-curdling battles in which the blacks were invariably massacred by the whites.
'You would think they'd get tired of lying down and getting up and lying down again,' the Mayor said when the Zulus had gone through their death agonies for the umpteenth time. 'Must keep them physically fit, I suppose.'
'So long as the bastards don't win, I'm happy,' said the Kommandant.
'I think they do have a moment of triumph in the finale,' said Dr Herzog. 'It's the Battle of Isandhlwana. The British ran out of ammunition and were massacred.'
'Do you mean to tell me,' said the Kommandant, 'that you have allowed white men to be defeated by blacks? It's insane. What's more it's illegal. You are encouraging racial hatred.'
Dr Herzog was nonplussed. 'I hadn't thought of it like that,' he said.
'Well, you had better think of it now. You're breaking the law. You've got to put a stop to it. I'm not prepared to sit here and watch anything so outrageous,' the Kommandant said firmly.
'Nor am I,' said the Mayor. Several councillors nodded in agreement.
'I don't really see how I can,' Dr Herzog said. 'They're about to begin.'
In the middle of the parade ground Miss Hazelstone had organized the British camp and was superintending the placement of the two old field guns. Several hundred yards away the Zulu army was gathered ready for its moment of triumph.