I looked out over the sea. Much as I hated to admit it, Talisid and Nimbus had a point. I’d killed more than twenty-three people over the past month. A lot more.
Was I just being a hypocrite here? I didn’t like Nimbus – he was arrogant and cold. But if I picked any random mage from the British Isles, admitted everything I’d done over the past month, then asked them to compare that to what Nimbus was doing now . . . they’d judge me as worse.
It’s a disturbing feeling, realising something like that. As far as most people were concerned, I was one of the bad guys, and I wasn’t sure they were wrong. The part that really bothered me was that, when I looked back on the decisions that had brought me here, all of them had made sense at the time. There hadn’t been a moment where I’d had a clear choice between good and evil. I’d just had to choose between bad options, over and over again, and things had kept getting worse.
Was there a point at which it had all gone wrong? There had been the point at which Anne picked up the ring, and I’d kept it secret. Then after she’d been possessed, when I’d tried to cover up what she’d done in San Vittore. The attack on Arachne’s lair. The choice I’d been given in Richard’s shadow realm. Facing Abithriax in the bubble realm . . .
Maybe that had been it. That, at least, had been a clear choice. I’d sought out Abithriax, challenged him for the fateweaver and killed him.
But if I hadn’t, Anne and Variam would be dead . . .
I shook my head. No easy choices, no easy answers. And now I was keeping company with generals and politicians, the sort of people who make these kinds of choices every day. Pick option one, these people die. Pick option two, it’s some other people instead. Pick option three, and both groups live, but the problem isn’t solved and will come back at some unspecified time in the future, at which point it’ll probably be worse. Make your choice, and don’t take too long, because tomorrow you’ll have to do it all over again.
Maybe this was how you turned into someone like Levistus. Having to fight for your own position while also having to decide between life and death for the people below you every single day. Over time you’d get numb to it, and eventually you’d stop feeling anything at all. Was I becoming like that?
I didn’t know, and that frightened me.
Five minutes to go. I walked over to Landis.
Landis was going over the attack plan one final time. ‘Remember, the bulk of the enemy forces are going to be shadows.’ He was all business now. ‘Cut through them quickly and don’t slow down, because they won’t stop coming and we need to push as far as possible in the first three minutes. The primary threat will be the two ifrit.’ He glanced over at me. ‘Still two?’
I nodded.
‘Rearguard, remember, your duties are screening only. If enemy reinforcements push across the bridge towards you, pull back immediately. We are anticipating a full-strength push from the keep and I do not want you to get in their way! Rejoin the main force if possible, and if worse comes to worst get out of the line of advance and sit tight. They won’t want to slow down for stragglers.’ Landis looked around. ‘Everyone understand?’
There were nods.
Landis looked to his left. ‘Compass?’
Compass stepped up, a small pixie-like blonde woman with a spring to her step. One of the few women in the Order of the Shield, she was a space mage and Landis’s gate specialist. ‘All right, boys, it’ll be two gates!’ she shouted. ‘Three minutes!’
There was no more chatter. All around, soldiers were doing final checks on their weapons, mages testing their shields. Luna walked quickly over. ‘The ifrit mages in the tombs,’ she said quietly. ‘It’s Caldera and Barrayar, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘They were the first ones Anne took,’ Luna said. ‘So they’re probably possessed by two of the generals, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘But you haven’t seen Variam in any of the futures.’
‘No.’
‘It’s supposed to take a while for her to summon up one of those jinn,’ Luna said. Her eyes weighed me up. ‘And she must have spent most of last night on that ritual. So . . . maybe she hasn’t had time to possess Vari?’
I didn’t answer.
‘What do you think the chances are?’
‘About zero.’
Luna sighed. ‘I figured.’
‘Two minutes!’ Compass called. I felt the signature of space magic as she started her spell.
Ji-yeong walked over to us. She had her shield on her left arm, and was adjusting her sword in its scabbard. The Council communicator focus in my ear pinged. ‘Nimbus to command group,’ Nimbus’s voice said. ‘All teams report in.’
‘Alpha team ready,’ Rain said in his deep voice.
‘Beta team ready,’ Landis said briskly.
‘. . . Gamma team, ready,’ Sonder said.
‘Gamma team, status,’ Nimbus said.
Lumen spoke over the focus. ‘Accumulator is primed. We can activate remotely at any time.’
‘Confirm charging time estimates.’
‘Minimum charging time to break the keep’s wards and threaten the focus crystal is twelve minutes,’ Sonder said. He sounded nervous. Sonder’s not a battle mage, and this was probably the first time he’d been involved in something on this scale. ‘To guarantee complete destruction of that entire section, we’ll need to charge for seventeen and a half minutes before firing.’
‘Understood,’ Nimbus said calmly. ‘Captain Rain, Captain Landis, you are required to keep your targets engaged for seventeen and a half minutes. Confirm.’
‘Received and understood,’ Rain said.
‘Received and understood,’ Landis said. Whatever he was feeling, he didn’t let any of it show in his voice.
‘Begin final countdown,’ Nimbus ordered.
‘One minute!’ Compass shouted.
‘I don’t like this,’ Luna said quietly to herself.
‘Ji-yeong, stay close to me and Landis,’ I said. ‘If we get tied down with the ifrit, we’ll need you to deactivate the shadows’ spawning mechanism. I’ll cover you while you do.’
Ji-yeong nodded.
‘Thirty seconds!’ Compass shouted.
‘Confirm ready to attack,’ Nimbus said.
‘Ready,’ Landis said curtly.
‘Ready,’ said Rain.
‘You are cleared to attack,’ Nimbus said. ‘I repeat, you are cleared to attack.’
‘GO!’ Landis shouted, his voice booming out over the crowd.
On either side of Compass, just above the grass, a gate shimmered and formed. The first Council forces went through at a run.
12
Luna, Ji-yeong and I jumped through.
We came down on a stone bridge over the sea. Behind was the castle with its looming walls and towers; ahead were the tombs, a single curving building with arrow-slit windows mounted on a rocky pillar rising out of the water.
There was no time to look around. Keepers and soldiers were moving through the gates in a steady stream, crossing the bridge at a jog. I caught a glimpse through the crowd of black shadows guarding the entrance to the tombs: gunfire stammered, there was a flash of magic and the next I saw the shadows were gone.
I stepped to one side, motioning Luna and Ji-yeong next to me. The Council forces kept streaming past for a few seconds more, then the flow stopped. Compass was the last one through, letting the gates close behind her.
Gunfire echoed from within the tombs, and I could sense battle magic: fire, lightning, ice. Over the tactical channel, I could hear combat chatter: progress reports, terse directions. Landis’s men were fanning out, destroying any shadows they found. A soldier called out an alert for jann; a second later there was a flash of magic and the order to move up.