"No one said anything to me these last couple of days," Jherek protested, knowing that was just as damning as anything. He just wasn't ready to let go.
"I know, lad, but plenty's been said to me since then. Your birthright has almost split my crew. Some are for you and some are against you. Almost had guts spilling out on ship's decks tonight when the matter was brought up, and I can't have that. I've got to have a crew like the fingers on a hand, always together and always working to stay that way. Otherwise I'm out of business and someone else'll be owning Butterfly. That's a thought that makes the blood run cold." Finaren shook his head sorrowfully and finished his glass. "What if they learned the real truth of the matter?"
"I don't know," Jherek whispered. Even then, it hurt to get the words out.
"You aren't just a boy who escaped impressment," Finaren stated. "You're Bloody Falkane the Wolf's son!" He paused and made a brief luck sign in Selune's name. "There are those who'd kill you hoping to get back at that man."
Jherek leaned back in his chair, defeated. He looked at the table, suddenly realizing what it meant: one man giving and one man taking. Only there were no deals he could make and he knew it.
"You hate me, don't you, lad?" Finaren asked gruffly.
"No," Jherek answered honestly.
Finaren looked away for a time, then gradually met his eyes again. "I hope you mean that, lad. It'd break me heart if you did."
Jherek tried to get around the hurt and loss that filled him. During the last few years, other captains had offered him employment after learning how good he was aboard ship and how skilled he was with marine craft as well as weapons. He'd turned them all down, even the offers that came with more wages attached. For a moment he resented the fact that he hadn't accepted them, hadn't left Finaren and gone his own way, but he knew if another captain had discovered the truth about his birth, he'd have been hung from a yardarm if he hadn't had his throat slit first.
"Maybe I can get a ship somewhere else," he said.
Finaren nodded. "Aye, there's a thought, but try somewhere far from the Sword Coast where the flaming skull tattoo won't be as heatedly remembered."
"Could you give me a letter of recommendation?"
"Aye, that I could, lad, but are you sure you want to ask me for one? Someone asks around down here, they're going to find out about this. By morning, this whole town will know and tongues will still be wagging."
Jherek knew he was right.
"Maybe the Sea of Fallen Stars," Finaren suggested. "You find a captain, tell him your da was a fisherman, that you learned the trade from him. They see what you can do, you'll move up smart enough."
Shaking his head, Jherek said, "I can't lie. I didn't lie to you, and I'm not going to lie to someone else. There'll be another captain out there willing to take a chance on me."
Finaren hesitated for a moment, then shook his head sorrowfully. "I hope you're right, lad, but you're going to be looking for one few and far between. You're no stripling boy now. You're almost a man full-grown. Most men will look on you as more of a threat. Valkur's brass buttons, Jherek, how many of them sahuagin did you kill in that battle? How many pirates and other creatures before that?"
"I couldn't tell you."
"Look for a way to get rid of that tattoo," the captain advised. "That'd be the first thing to work on."
"Madame litaar couldn't get rid of it."
"Meaning no disrespect whatsoever, lad, but your ma don't know everything that's under the sun. Mayhap you'll find a mage in one of them countries around the Inner Sea who'll know just what to do."
Jherek nodded, not knowing what he was going to do. The only true home he'd ever known was here in Velen. Leaving it while on a ship, knowing he was going to return, was one thing. Moving was an entirely different matter.
"I do know one thing, though, lad," Finaren stated. "Traveling around and hiring mages, that's going to cost some money."
Jherek nodded. That was another problem that he was going to have to think on.
"There," Finaren said with a small smile, "I can help." He took a leather bag from under his blouse and pushed it across the table.
Jherek hefted it, surprised at how heavy it was.
"Go on," Finaren said, "take a look."
Untying the strings, Jherek peered in surprised to see a collection of gold pieces and gems. He looked up at the captain. "What's this? If this is charity-"
Finaren held up an authoritative hand and interrupted, "Hold your water, lad. Charitable I may be, foolish I am not. What you've got there you've rightly earned. When I hire a man onto my ship, I set aside a bit of the wages I pay him that he don't know about. Bonuses, you might call them, for every voyage we take together. I know men living on ships don't always put back for them rainy days. So when I got a man laid up by illness or injury, or I got a man don't come back to his family, I can see to it he don't go hungry or homeless. Or unburied if it comes to that. That there's the coin I've been putting aside for you, and I managed to scrape together a little over two thousand gold pieces worth of gems to pay for them healing potions you got from the Amnians. Unless you'd rather have the draughts and try to sell them yourself."
"No. I know you've been generous." Jherek also recalled that the ship didn't have any healing potions aboard, and for every one he tried to sell, he'd be forced to think about Yeill again. He didn't want that either.
"You might be able to double your money on those potions," Finaren pointed out.
"One of the things you always taught me was to take the money up front if I wasn't sure where I'd be the next day."
"Good lad," the old captain congratulated. "I kept the crew aboard Butterfly till just before I came to meet you here, but they'll be telling tales up and down the docks tonight. You might warn your ma that some angry people could show up at her house."
For the first time, the cold realization that he might not have a choice about staying in Velen struck Jherek. The town had been Madame litaar's home for dozens of years. She'd buried a husband there, and other family as well. Malorrie had been buried there himself. Neither of them might be willing to move.
Finaren read the look on his face. "You hadn't thought about that, had you, lad? About the fact that once this is out in this town, you might be forced to move?"
"No," Jherek replied honestly. He looked out the dirty window and tried to imagine living anywhere else. He couldn't. The only life he'd known before Velen was his father's ship.
"Even if someone here don't try to kill you," Finaren warned, "didn't you say Falkane might come looking if he knew where you were?"
The possibility seemed small now, but Jherek remembered how much it had frightened him when he was younger. "I don't know."
"Get out of town, lad," Finaren said. "That's my advice. For what it's worth."
"I'll think about it." The stubborn streak that had helped Jherek survive the hardships he'd experienced up to now surfaced.
Finaren started to argue. Jherek could tell by the way the captain's lips jerked and his eyes narrow. Then the older man shrugged. "As you think, lad." He stoppered his bottle. "As for me, I've got to go so you can be going."
Jherek nodded, not wanting the man to walk away from him, but knowing there was no way to hold him.
"You put that purse away and keep it safe," Finaren ordered as he rose from his chair.