Images flickered through Jherek's mind of that day, more details available than he'd ever been able to remember in the past. He'd clung to the railing, scared and crying as he always did when he saw the vicious bloodletting that happened on a ship Bunyip had grappled onto.
"My brother Dennin was sixteen, still a boy, but with a man's growth. His magic could have been strong, but he denied it, called to the blade. Before my father could stop him, he challenged Falkane to a duel." Sabyna shook her head. "It was no duel. It was an execution."
Jherek didn't remember that. At the time he'd been standing by the railing, sure even as a child that he could no longer endure the fear and the sheer evil that radiated from his father and the pirate crew. Men and women had been murdered-and worse-on Bunyip's deck, and his father had made him witness most of the atrocities.
During the boarding then the two ships had gotten off tandem on a wave and knocked forcibly together. He'd fallen over the railing and into the ocean between the two ships. Though he was a good swimmer, he couldn't overcome the undertow created by the ships and the sea. In the end, he'd given up, accepting death as a respite from the harsh and unloved life he'd been forced to live.
He remembered floating downward, looking up at the keels of the two ships over him, watching as the turquoise world around him slowly faded to black. On the brink of drowning, he'd heard the voice for the first time.
Live, that you may serve. Nothing more, but the voice had left him feeling enraptured, stronger.
A pair of dolphins had swam under him, nosing under his arms and swimming with him back to the surface. One of his father's pirates had spotted him and leaped in to save him. Afterward, he'd been more hopeful for a time, but that had faded as the days of waiting for more direction had turned into months and years. Now with the way events had gone in Velen, Jherek felt it had only been to prolong the agony of his life.
"After he finished with the ship," Sabyna went on, "Falkane burned it to the waterline. He gave my father Dennin's body, as a token of respect he'd said, because my brother had died well."
"I'm sorry," Jherek said, the cold touching him again, but coming from inside this time. Still, his mind whirled. Perhaps Madame litaar's divination was correct. It wasn't just mere chance that had placed him on the same ship as a woman who'd been there at the time the dolphins had rescued him. Or was it? He wished that he was more certain.
Live, that you may serve.
But serve who?
"I'm not telling you this because of the boy," Sabyna said. "I did what I had to down there even if it did frighten him more than he should have been, and we both have to live with that. Nor am I telling you this because I want you to understand how I feel about pirates. I'm telling you these things because I want you to know me."
Jherek remained silent, knowing part of her talk was from the aftermath of the risk they'd taken. Talking at such times, Malorrie had assured him, was a natural thing, a way of putting things behind a person.
"If I could," she continued, "I'd kill every pirate on every sea, on all of Toril, and stretch their bodies out for the gulls to feed on."
The tattoo on the inside of Jherek's arm seemed to catch fire. It marked him indelibly for her, made him a part of what she most hated. There was no denying his heritage, and his bloodline only made it worse.
"Tynners stand on pirates is the chief reason I signed on with Breezerunner? she said. "He's got a reputation for taking the fight to pirates, and he keeps the extra men on board to handle any encounter with them that may come along." She turned to him. "I've a harsh side to me, one that surprises a lot of people. Is that too much for you to handle?"
He hesitated, trying to figure it out for himself. His head rebelled from what she was saying, thinking that her logic was skewed. It was one thing to stand against an evil, but another to stalk it as much like a predator as the evil itself. In the end, he went with his heart.
"No, it's not too much for me to handle."
She looked at him, her eyes searching his. "Good, because I find myself liking you-maybe more than I should-and if I'm too honest for you too quickly, I can only offer my apologies."
Her revelation shocked Jherek and he didn't know what to say.
"Surprised?" she asked.
"Aye," he croaked.
"Surprised that I'd be so forward?"
He shrugged.
"I live on a ship, as you have. It's a small world. Things will pass you by if you don't reach out for them. Do you understand?"
Jherek nodded, realizing that her talk was there to bolster her courage in revealing so much of herself.
"There's not much time to get to know someone you feel-drawn to," she continued. "I've learned that I have to deal with my feelings quickly to make sure of where I stand. I can't afford distractions in my job, and I've found you've become very distracting. If I don't deal with it now, I fear it's only going to get worse. I don't want that, but neither do I want to confuse you, and I know from other times that I'm capable of that. I'm trying to be fair to both of us. It would be easier if I felt you weren't interested."
Jherek understood. Finaren had kept Butterfly operating in the same fashion. If men didn't get along, they admitted and confronted each other, and truces were worked out. If talking didn't settle it, they fought, though no killing was permitted. If the one fight didn't settle matters, Finaren picked one of the men and helped the other, if he was a good worker, find another ship.
He tried to think of something to say, but no words came readily to his lips. Luckily, she continued, making a effort to fill the uncomfortable silence that had threatened to come between them.
"When you put a woman on a ship," Sabyna said, "you affect ship's morale. I can't afford to get close to any man on this ship. Such a thing has a tendency to split the crew. Yet, I'm a woman still, with womanly desires. It's one thing to entertain myself on shore leave, but those are transitory things. Breezerunner is my home, and it makes me feel good about myself to invite someone into my home and fix a meal for them, share a conversation. Do you understand?"
"Aye, I think that I do," Jherek answered, looking into her impassioned gaze, knowing what she felt in part. He'd never had what he considered a home to himself, except maybe the loft over the barn he'd rented before Madame litaar had taken him into her home. He'd never allowed himself to get close to others, not even Butterfly's crew, because of his secret.
"I'm no common woman to be treated in a casual manner." She looked away. "Should you get a berth on this ship when you get to Baldur's Gate, things between us would change. I don't fraternize with crew, and you need to know that as well."
He nodded. Her honesty felt much different from the Amman woman's from three days ago. There were no demands being put on him, only an interest evidenced.
Strangely, he found that it frightened him more than the Amnian woman's bald advances.
"What's on your mind?" Sabyna asked.
He looked away from her, not knowing what to say.
"Tell me if I've completely embarrassed myself," she said in a contrite voice, "but I know no other way to let someone know what I'm thinking other than to tell them."
Hearing the uncertainty in her voice, Jherek turned back to face her. "No, lady, you've not embarrassed yourself. I think you show great sense and have courage to speak your mind."
"Then what?"
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