“Maybe some lube or massage oil?” Amber asked.
“Ooh, massage oil. What do you think, Brooke?”
I silently doubled my budget again and hoped my credit card wouldn’t melt when we tried to use it, because the cash in my pocket wouldn’t even cover the lingerie.
Can you sign a credit card receipt? I asked the little head.
No. Can you fuck the girls with those fancy thumbs of yours?
Probably.
He snorted in derision.
I rolled my eyes and waited patiently as the girls picked out bottles of massage oil.
When Christy saw the flavored lubes, she worked up the courage to ask, “Do you have anything to help with… um… deep throat?”
“Sure,” Amber said without missing a beat. “Here, try this. It numbs your throat.” She uncapped the bottle and held it up to Christy, who opened her mouth. Amber pumped several sprays, and Christy looked surprised.
“Oh, wow, that was quick. Mmm, it tastes good too.”
“It’s mint,” Amber said.
“Ooh, yummy minty penis!” Christy blushed when she realized what she’d said.
“That’s okay. I use it with my guy too,” Amber said.
“So this will help me… you know?”
“It’ll help, but it still takes practice.”
“Can you do it?” Christy asked.
“Uh-huh. Although it took me a while to learn. Just keep at it.”
She winked at me, and I made a discreet “wrap it up” finger-twirl. She nodded and started to gesture toward the cash registers.
“Um,” Brooke spoke up, “there’s one thing I’d like to look at.”
“Sure. What?”
She leaned forward to whisper in Amber’s ear.
To her credit, Amber glanced at me first. Brooke had asked for so little that I couldn’t begrudge her anything, so I nodded.
“Of course. Right this way.” Amber headed toward a section we’d skipped earlier, the sex toys. “Beginner?” she asked Brooke, who nodded mutely. “Then I’d start with this one.” She took down a box. “Once you’re comfortable with it, you can move up to a bigger size.”
Brooke blushed but took the box and peered at the pink butt plug inside.
“We also have a starter kit with three sizes.” She took one look at Brooke and changed it to, “Maybe just the small one to start, huh?”
“If you think so,” Brooke said.
“Yeah, this is what I started with. It feels a bit weird at first, but you get used to it pretty quickly. And if you like it, the bigger sizes feel even better. You can come back any time you’re ready to move up. How’s that sound? Oh, wait! You’re from Texas, aren’t you?”
“She lives here now,” I explained.
“Oh. Then I’ll definitely give you my name. I normally work weekends, and you can call to make sure I’m working before you come in.”
“Thanks,” Brooke said.
“You’ll probably want some lube to go with it.” She led us back to that shelf and picked out a small bottle. “This is like the spray we picked out for Christy. It’ll numb you and make it more comfortable to insert the plug. Or anything else, when you’re ready.”
I gestured toward the register, a little more decisively.
Amber nodded and said to the girls, “So, are we ready to check out?”
“What about Paul?” Christy said.
“What about me?”
“We need to get something for him.”
Amber’s eyebrows rose with amusement. “I don’t know if he wants anything.”
“Of course he does,” Christy said.
“Then… what would he like? We have penis rings, pumps, bondage toys, clothing…? Anything sound interesting?”
“Penis rings.”
“Right this way.”
We surveyed the display, and I said to Christy, “You know I already have one of these, right?”
“Oh my gosh, really? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you show me?”
“It never came up, I guess.”
“It comes up all the time,” she said a little crossly. “And besides, you know what I like.”
“A woman after my own heart,” Amber said. Then she asked me, “What’s it made of?”
“Black rubber. With little nubs around it.”
Christy gave me a look of exasperation. “And you haven’t been using it on me?”
Amber chuckled and pointed out a box. “This is one of our sampler kits. It’s rubber like his and comes with a donut ring for extra endurance, a gear ring for clitoral stimulation, and a lasso ring that’s a perfect fit for any guy. It even comes with a small bottle of lube to help get them on and off.”
“What about the metal ones?” Christy asked.
“Surgical stainless steel. You feed his testicles through first, then his penis. You have to do it when he’s soft, though, since these don’t stretch.”
“Wait… I can put it on him?”
“That’s part of the fun, isn’t it?” Amber laughed.
“And what about the leather one?”
“My personal favorite. It adjusts with these snaps.” She showed her.
“Can we get them all?” Christy asked me.
“Pick two,” I said firmly. They weren’t that expensive, but at some point enough was enough. Besides, I only had one cock, and I didn’t need a different ring for every day of the week.
“The kit and the metal one?” she said hopefully.
“Two. Or the kit.”
“Fine, Mr. Stingy—”
Brooke winced, and even Amber looked embarrassed.
“—just these two.” Christy kept the metal and leather ones and put the kit back on the display.
“Better,” I said patiently. “Now, are we ready to check out?”
“What about clothes?”
“I don’t need anything.”
“Please, please,” she begged. “Wait, I know! I’ll buy them for you!”
I decided it wasn’t worth an argument, and Amber knew that I’d hit my limit. She showed Christy a couple of racks of thongs, briefs, and even some regular-looking pants. Fortunately, it was a much smaller selection than the one for women.
“I like the lounge pants,” Christy said.
“What size is he?” Amber asked.
“Um… pretty big. Does that make a difference?”
“No,” Amber laughed, “I mean his waist.”
“Oh, sorry. Thirty-four.”
“Medium. These should fit.” She took down a pair of black satin pants with a drawstring waist.
“What do you think?” Christy asked Brooke.
“They look comfy, but… are they really that special?”
“You’re probably right.” Christy handed them back and asked, “Do you have anything more… um… revealing?”
“Sure,” I muttered, “right this way.”
“You could work here,” Amber said, although she tempered it with an apologetic smile. Then she pointed to another display, where Christy picked out a mesh “gentleman’s g-string” and a pair of pouchless briefs that were the male equivalent of crotchless panties.
“You know it’s going to take us weeks to try all this stuff,” I said.
“But… we have the rest of our lives,” she replied, saccharine-sweet. Then she broke into a smile and threw her arms around me. “Oh, Paul, I love you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
How could I say no to that?
* * *
My credit card went through without a problem, but Christy’s plan to pay didn’t work out so well. Her checks were out-of-state (and out-of-date—they had her old address from when she lived in Andy Holt Apartments), and she didn’t have enough cash in her purse.
“I can write a check,” Brooke said.
“No,” I said, polite but firm, “I’ll do it.”
“I’ll make it worth your while,” Christy promised.
I faked a smile and handed Amber my card again.
My mood improved drastically once we left the store with all our purchases. We loaded them in the trunk of the Mercedes and then decided to put the top down. Christy covered her hair with a scarf from the glove compartment, and Brooke tied hers in a pony tail to keep it from blowing all over the place.