At breakfast, Daddy advised me to eat up, but I couldn’t. My stomach was nervous. After breakfast, we got on the shuttle and traveled down to the First Level, and then over to the bay in which the scoutships sit waiting to take damned fools places they’d rather not go.
We arrived in the scout bay fifteen minutes before we were supposed to leave for Grainau. Daddy said, “Wait here, Mia. I’ll be right back.” He went over to a cluster of men standing by the nearest scoutship.
I stood there in a great entranceway carved in the rock, feeling just a little abandoned. Daddy had brought me here, and now he was just going off and leaving me. I was nervous and scared. If I could legitimately have gone back home and crawled in bed, I would have — and not gotten up again for two days, either. If I could have done it without losing face. Unfortunately, it was now harder to back out than to go on, so I was going on, carried by the momentum of my Sunday night decision.
It was the first time I’d ever been in the scout bay. Hesitantly, I looked around. The rock roof arched over the long single line of ships, all squatting over their tubes, waiting for the catch bars that ringed their rims to be released so they could drop out of sight. Scoutships are used for any errands planetside where the Ship can’t go itself because of its size. These include delivering and picking up traded items, tooting off on joyrides, carrying diplomatic missions like ours, and dropping kids on Trial. The scoutships are pigeons that nest in a cote that hoves between the stars, and some are out and away at almost any time. To keep my mind off my unhappy stomach, which was growling sourly, I counted the ships that were home, and there were a dozen. The ships are disc-shaped, with bulges top and bottom in the center. Each of them had at least one of its four ramps lowered.
In a moment, Daddy came back with one of the men he’d been speaking with — a young giant. He was at least a foot taller than Daddy. He was very ugly, unpleasantlooking and formidable. I don’t think I’d have cared to meet him at any time.
“This is George Fuhonin,” Daddy said. “He’s going to be our pilot.”
I didn’t say anything, just looked at him. Daddy prodded me. “Hello,” I said in a small, distant voice.
“Hello,” he said, in a voice I’d have to call a bass growl. It was deep and it rumbled. “Your father tells me that this is going to be your first trip outside the Ship.”
I looked at Daddy out of the corner of my eye, and then I looked up at the big, ugly man. I nodded warily, the least little dip. He scared me.
“Would you like to take a look around the scout before we take off?” he asked. “As your pilot and your father’s -regular chauffeur, I guarantee I’ll leave out nothing.”
I wanted to say a definite no, and was just about to when Daddy pushed me forward and said, “Go ahead and enjoy yourself, Mia.” He motioned toward the other men. “I’ve got some things to settle before we leave.”
So this man, this monster, George Whatever-His-Name-Was, and I walked up the scoutship ramp, me feeling totally betrayed. I sometimes think that parents enjoy putting their children in uncomfortable situations, maybe as a way of getting back without admitting it. I don’t say that is what Daddy was doing, but I certainly thought so at the time.
The top of my head came to about the bottom of this George’s ribcage, and he was so big that one of his steps was worth two and a half of mine, so that even when he was walking slowly that half-step kept me either ahead or behind him. If I’d been feeling better, it would have seemed like playing tag around a dinosaur. As it was, I’d just have enjoyed a hole to hide in. Black, deep, and secret.
The main part of the scoutship was at the level we entered. In the center, surrounded by a circular separating partition about four feet high, were lounge beds with sides that stuck up a foot or more like a baby’s bed, comfortable chairs, magnetized straight chairs that could be moved, and two tables. In the exact center was a spiral stairway that led both up and down. Around the edge of the ship were storerooms, racks, a kitchen, a toilet, and a number of horse stalls with straw-covered floors. Two horses were being led into place as we came up the ramp and into the ship.
The monster said, “Those are for your father and his assistant after we land.”
I didn’t say anything. I just looked stonily around.
When the colonies were settled, they took horses to work and ride, because tractors and heli-pacs have such a low reproductive rate. There weren’t any opportunities to set up industries on the colonies, simply time enough to drop people and enough supplies to give them a fair chance to survive. Then the Ships would head back to Earth for another load and another destination. Those supplies included very little in the way of machines because machines wear out in a few years. They did indude horses. Nowadays when we land on a planet where they haven’t made any progress in the last 170 years, we ride horseback, too.
At that time, of course, I hadn’t learned to ride yet and I was a little shy of horses. When one was led past me and wrinkled its lips and snorted, I jumped back.
I noticed the toilet then. We were only a few feet away from it. I looked up at the giant and said, “I have to go to the bathroom.”
Before he could say anything, I was inside with the door locked. Escaped, for the moment. I didn’t have to go to the bathroom at all. I just wanted to be left alone.
I looked around at the bare-walled room. I ran the water and washed my hands. Altogether, I managed to stay inside for a full five minutes before being alone in the little empty room with my nervousness got to be too much for me. I kept imagining that Daddy was on board by now, and I even thought I could almost hear his voice. Finally I was driven outside to see.
When I opened the door, the giant was standing exactly where I had left him, obviously waiting for me. There were people moving things on board, the horses were locked in their stalls and moving around, and Daddy was still outside somewhere.
Exactly as though I’d never been gone, the giant said, “Come on upstairs,” in his deep voice. “I’ll show you my buttons. I keep a collection of them there.”
Resignedly, I preceded him up the flight of metal stairs that led upstairs, winding around a vertical handpole like threads winding around a screw. It was obvious that he was determined to keep me in his charge, and I wasn’t feeling up to arguing, even if I’d dared to. At the top we came out in a bubble-dome in which were two seats hung on swivel pivots, a slanting panel directly in front of them with inset vision screens, dials and meters — the slant of the panel low enough so as not to obscure vision out the dome — and beside these, perhaps enough room to turn around twice.
The giant waved a paw at the console at the base of the panel. “My button collection,” he said, and smiled. “I’ll bet you didn’t think I had any.”
They were there. Enough buttons to keep a two-year-old or a pilot occupied for hours. It was obvious that in his way this George was trying to be friendly, but I wasn’t in the mood to be friendly with any large, ugly stranger. After one brief glance at the panel and console I turned away to look outside.
Through the dome I could see the rock roof glowing gently all above us. The ring of the scoutship’s body cut off the view directly beneath us and I couldn’t see Daddy or the men with him at all. It’s no fun to be deserted. It’s a miserable feeling.