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Warmth. Why is it that sunlight warms so much more thoroughly than radiators? It was the first time in months that I’d felt that sensation, and I lifted my face to the sky, soaking it in.

There was a rumbling beneath my flip-flops as the boat’s engine turned over. The deck pitched and I dropped into an alarmed crouch.

Clarissa laughed. “Midwesterners.” She beckoned to me. “Come here. I’ll keep an eye on you.”

I rose and cast a quick look around. Most of the others were enjoying the sun and the view and hadn’t noticed my humiliating moment.

But at least one person hadn’t missed it. Poe shook his head at me, one brow raised above the rim of his sunglasses, and turned away.

Whatever. I wouldn’t let him see me sweat. Poe was the only one on the boat who really knew how much this experience freaked me out, and I intended to keep it that way. I took a deep breath and edged toward the railing near the—prow? front?—to join Clarissa and George.

Up here, the rise and fall of the deck was even more pronounced, and I gripped the rails securely. Just to the side, the railing gapped at the “entrance.”[3] Only a thin chain dangled between the two bits of rail. I suppressed a shudder and huddled closer to Clarissa.

“…sailing,” I heard George say.

“Right, tomorrow,” Clarissa said. “I can’t wait.”

I could. I hadn’t yet figured out what I’d be doing on the island all day while my brothers went swimming or jet-skiing or who knows what else. Hopefully, the sunbathing-and-catching-up-on-reading contingent would be just as popular.

Clarissa held her arms out over the abyss. “I mean, look at how pale I’ve gotten. I need a tan like no one’s business.”

As George and Clarissa compared skin tones, I tried my best to relax. I attempted to roll the tension out of my shoulders and neck, but the life jacket limited my mobility quite a bit. Not that I had any intention of taking it off until I was back on dry land. Safety first, and all that.

However, I had to admit that once you got into the rhythm of the boat—the way it smacked hard against the waves, then rose and swooped into the dips between the swells—it was almost fun. Like a little roller coaster. I could understand why folks of Clarissa’s stock actually enjoyed this kind of activity.

And then I remembered that Brandon and Felicity had gone on a yacht tour of Fiji. Another example of why she worked so much better for him than I would have: boating trips. I would never suggest such a thing to him. I didn’t even know he liked boats. (Just airplanes—and paper ones, at that.)

I loosened my white-knuckled grip on the rail a bit. Maybe if I’d been more adventurous, he would have…

No. Stop it. I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t do this anymore, that I wouldn’t spend any more time thinking about what I was lacking. I’d made mistakes with Brandon, but it didn’t make me a bad person. Just a different person. A person who wasn’t right for him.

Still…I moved my hands a few inches from the rail. It didn’t hurt to try.

The boat pitched again and I tightened my grip. Maybe I should wait to try until we were closer to the dock?

The boy who’d given me the life jacket joined us by the rail, and George and Clarissa scooted over to give him room. I did not scoot. Someone else could stand by that chain-enclosed gap.

“Hi,” George said, sticking out his hand. “I’m George. You the skipper here?”

The kid shrugged. “Today. Gets me off the island.”

He’d been on the island for a while? Maybe…hiding out from the media? I looked at him more closely, trying to recall the photo I’d seen online. “Are you Darren?” I asked.

“And you’re Amy,” he stated, smiling.

“How did you know that?” Clarissa asked.

“The captain said it.” He flicked a chip of paint off the railing and over the side. “So, are all you guys Diggers?”

“I don’t think we’re supposed to tell you that,” Clarissa said.

Darren shrugged again. “It’s pretty obvious with everyone else. You’re either a Digger, or the girlfriend or wife or kid of one. But not anymore.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

“Because they’ve got girls now. So you guys could all be Diggers.”

“I’m just the boyfriend of one,” George volunteered. As if he was ever the boyfriend of anyone.

“No,” said Darren. “You’re a Prescott. You I know.”

Clarissa laughed. “Your reputation has preceded you even here, George.”

I squinted through the sunlight at Darren Gehry, trying to find in him some resemblance to his father, but noticed none. Where Kurt was beefy, red-faced, and scowling, Darren was skinny, freckled, and had an easy, open (if vaguely smug) smile.

“How do you know Rose & Grave has girls?” I asked him.

“There’s nothing better to do here than read up on you guys.”

Funny, to talk to some of my fellow knights, there was nothing better to do than read up on his family back at Eli. I could see now why the Gehrys had spirited their children off to Cavador. There was no need to subject the kids to that sort of media frenzy, especially after they just lost their nanny!

“There’s a lot of old records and stuff lying around.” He peeled another strip of paint off the railing.

I feigned innocence. “‘We guys’?” I said. “I’m not one of them.”

He chuckled.

“Still, you seem to know a lot about Rose & Grave for someone who isn’t a member,” Clarissa added.

“Are you saying you are one?” he replied.

She leaned in. “What do you think?”

The deck tilted as the captain started cutting to the side, and we all jostled against one another. I bit back a scream, since no one else seemed to be fazed by the movement.

Come on, Amy. Pull yourself together. I could do this. It was just a boat ride. I’d been on boats before.

Well, no. I’d been on a log flume once, where the water was about three inches deep. And I’d ridden the Pirates of the Caribbean at Disney World. And It’s a Small World, too, come to think of it. But other than that, I’d led a pretty boat-free existence. How had I made it to twenty-two with so little experience? And here I’d thought myself so worldly.

The captain started calling for Darren, and he excused himself.

“Not a bad kid,” said Clarissa. “Shame about the father.”

“Is Daren really stuck down here, alone with his family?” George said. “That can’t be fun. And what are they doing about his school?”

I nodded, not sure I could trust my voice as the boat began zipping across someone else’s wake with several jarring slaps. Could that possibly be good for the hull? If I felt this kind of bumping in a car, I’d freak out, but apparently no one minded that every second it felt like we were about to break open and spill our contents right into the depths. I felt my stomach drop into my toes, then rise in my throat.

Great. Now I was seasick.

A few moments later, Darren rejoined the party.

“So,” George said, “how much farther to Cavador?”

Darren pointed vaguely off into the distance, and the boat pitched again. He covered his mouth with one hand and gripped the railing with the other.

“You feeling okay, man?” George asked. Darren shook his head miserably. From my position on the other side of Clarissa, I sympathized. I wasn’t feeling so hot myself. Maybe the captain should take it easy on us.

Suddenly, Darren reared up and spewed something white and chunky all over Clarissa. She screamed and flung herself backward, out of the splash zone, knocking into me. I lost my grip on the railing and catapulted backward. I made one grab, then another, reeling back, trying to find my balance on the ever-tilting deck. My hands closed over metal, and I heard a crunch.

The chain. The gap.

And then the world turned upside down.

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3

 The confessor is most frustrated by her lack of boating jargon.