Ten minutes later and they were crowded into Stewart’s room.
Chapter 58
Friday night
The strip lights in the Royal Infirmary were too bright for him. William MacIntyre half closed his eyes and watched while the doctor chatted to each patient in turn. He cursed under his breath as he waited for her to make her way around the ward. He clawed at his arm, felt the shakes begin again. Forced himself to lie down on the bed. Closed his eyes, prayed that the pain would disappear. Cursed again, this time loud enough for the man in the next bed to hear and respond. ‘Christ, will you shut up. You’re not the only one suffering.’
MacIntyre ignored him, focused instead on the progress of the doctor. He thought she looked about sixteen but he knew she had to be older. He studied her: she was small, about five two, but she had an athletic build and a fresh, open face and her long blonde hair was tied back in a pony-tail. She looked like a different species from him. Healthy. He felt his stomach spasm. Took a deep breath. Felt into the pain. Watched her smile at another patient, touch their hand. ‘Fuck,’ he hissed; the pain was worse. He closed his eyes. ‘Fuckssake,’ he whispered.
‘Shut it you,’ the man in the next bed snarled. ‘Think you’re the only one in pain, you junkie tosspot.’
Eventually she came to him, read his notes. A wee lassie telling him what he should be doing, what he should be taking. What a cunt. MacIntyre sat up in the bed, screwed his eyes at the name badge. Dr Susan Armstrong was still droning on.
‘Mr MacIntyre, we can help you with a withdrawal programme. I can get you signed up today if you like. It might not be available right away, it might take a week or so, but there are agencies that could help you. It would be a managed withdrawal, with plenty of support, including counselling. It wouldn’t be like going cold turkey on your own.’
He shook his head. ‘I’m no interested.’
‘Because?’
He shrugged – why bother going into it?
She moved closer to the bed. ‘You don’t understand. After an attempted suicide, we need to put help and support into place.’
He glared at her. ‘Mibbe you don’t fucking understand hen.’
‘I won’t put up with bad language.’ Her voice cold.
‘Well then shut it.’
The doctor took a step back, frowned, started again. ‘Mr MacIntyre, I’m here to help you. At least try to be civil.’
He felt his fingers twitch. Felt the ache deep in his bones. ‘How long have I got? How long can I stay here?’
‘In this ward?’
‘Aye, in the infirmary.’
‘Until tomorrow morning. Then I’m afraid we need to move you on. Which is why I’d like to get you signed up to the programme.’
MacIntyre shut his eyes. His voice cracked, ‘I took a fuckin’ overdose, could you no have just let me be?’
She glanced at her notes. ‘You were at home when you took the overdose.’
‘Aye, so?’
‘Your neighbour found you and called the ambulance.’
MacIntyre closed his eyes. ‘The neighbour’s a thieving git. Should never have been prowlin’ about ma hoose in the first place.’
‘That may well be but he saved your life and now I suggest that you accept help in managing your addiction. We have outside agencies who can help you. In the meantime I can get you on a methadone programme.’
MacIntyre gripped his hospital gown around him and sniffed. He heard more questions but ignored them all. He waited until the young doctor had moved off, exasperated, before he opened his mobile and dialled home. It took a while ringing before she answered.
Her voice was slurred. ‘Yesh?’ She didn’t have her teeth in.
‘I’m no coming back.’
‘Who’s thiss?’
‘Who the fuck dae ye think it is, ya daft cow?’
A long pause. ‘Wullie?’
‘Aye.’
‘Are ye no still in the Royal?’
‘Aye but I’m meant tae be out the morrow.’
‘Hame? You’re gonnae be hame in the morning?’
‘I’m no coming back but.’
‘How’ss that then?’
‘The fucker that got Gilmore’s coming for me next. I’m oan the list. I’m oan Doyle’s fucking list. Weirdo told me. Ma name’s right under fucking Gilmore’s and look what happened tae him.’
A long pause, the penny dropping. ‘How doess he know, how doess Doyle know? How doess Weirdo know?’
‘I don’t know. But they fucking know. And George has disappeared. I think he told them about whit was happening.’
‘Fuck.’ Her voice a whisper.
‘Aye, I’m fucked. And I’m no letting them dae tae me whit they did tae Gilmore.’
Silence.
‘You still there?’
‘Aye.’
‘So I’m off, away oot of it.’
A long pause. ‘But where will you go?’
His voice hardened. ‘There’s no a lot of choice is there? Whit I’m saying is my options are very-fucking-severely-limited.’
‘Well. Jist come hame then? Ish that no the besht thing?’
‘Fuck off.’
Silence.
‘That’ss no nice.’
‘Well, the-games-a-fucking-bogey for me.’
‘Kin ye no sort it?’
‘How? It’s over fir me.’
Silence.
‘You hear me?’
‘Aye.’
‘So.’
‘Aye. That’s me on ma own now?’
MacIntyre switched off the phone. Lay on his back, felt the tears come, hot, salty. Turned onto his side and faced the wall. Closed his eyes. He felt the ache in his kidneys begin again and he stretched his right hand around to the soreness. The three stumps on his hand kneaded uselessly against the searing pain. MacIntyre knew about the list – Christ, everyone in Glasgow knew Doyle had a list. And now MacIntyre’s name was on it. MacIntyre knew it was over. Knew where he had to go.
The bridge.
He waited until the shift change had started, watched the nurses congregate around the desk at the far end of the ward. Looked at the clock: it was eight p.m. Through the window he saw sleet hammering down on the city. He crossed the ward, stumbled down the corridor to the lift. A few minutes later he was walking past a group of smokers at the hospital doorway; one of them spat on the ground as he passed. MacIntyre ignored them and walked out into the cold night and kept walking until he reached it.
The bridge.
He waited until the bus was in sight before he stepped off the bridge.
Chapter 59
It’s Friday night, surely you have some time off . . . are you around for a drink?
Wheeler read the text from Paul Buchan. Pressed delete. She sat alone in the CID suite; it was silent apart from the distant thrum of traffic. Even the sleet outside had ceased battering against the window panes and had lessened to a drizzle. The overhead strip of fluorescent light was turned off. Wheeler sat under a halo of light from the desk lamp. There was just enough light for her to read the reports, to examine the evidence bags. The photographs had been dusted for prints, everything had been logged, recorded, noted. In the still calm of the night Wheeler reached for one of the bags, noticed the tremor in her hand as she pulled out the photographs and stared at each one in turn. Finally she began to stuff them back into the plastic bags. A few remained. Holding one of the pictures in her hand, she tried to imagine the reality of life for these boys. The boy in the photograph had his back to the camera and was completely naked, his skin blue-white with cold. The room was empty, only the boy standing alone, his skin pale but for the smear of red that seeped down his thighs.