June 30th
Mr. James Cardew came this afternoon. It seems that I forget my journal except when something wonderful or disastrous happens. Perhaps that is as well. If I recorded everyday happenings it would become decidedly boring. As it is, when I read back I can relive the highlights—good or evil.
It is more than a month since Magnus and I revealed our love for each other. What a wonderful month! How we have talked! We have made so many plans. It was arranged that he was to stay in England for a year during which time he would study the methods which were used here. His family had thought that my brother might care to go into the Perrensen business to study their methods in exchange. And this would probably have happened if Charles had been here. My father had said that Charles would want to go when he returned home.
Magnus must stay his term here. He wants to. Much as he longs for our marriage he was completely absorbed in the making of maps and very interested in our methods. I wouldn't have wanted to disturb that for I had determined that I should never put anything in the way of his work.
So, we planned. Next year, early next year, we would be married, and I should go home with him.
He talked a great deal about Norway—the beautiful fjords and mountains. He showed me maps of his country and the place where his family had a country house. I was so happy. I was living in the future. I saw before me an idyllic life. I should see the midnight sun. I should lie in a boat in the fjords, I should fish and swim with him. We would ride through the forests; and then we would go in search of his island ... together... always together.
He had shown me the map. There was the island. He had called it Paradise Island.
"It must be here," he said, pointing. "I have studied maps of the area but there is no mention of it. Here are the Solomon Islands, recently rediscovered. It could be miles south or to the north... I don't know. But it is there ... somewhere. Of course the discovery of these islands is so recent and much of the seas are as yet uncharted. Isn't it exciting? To think of what we have to do? The discoveries we have to make? I am going to make another map, and when it is finished I shall give it to you. Then we shall both have a map on which is my Paradise Island. There will be no other such map in the world ... as yet. Treasure yours, Ann Alice. Keep it in a safe place."
I have not yet received the map but when I do I shall certainly
keep it in a safe place. I shall hide it in the drawer with my journal. Magnus does not want anyone to see it. I believe he is afraid that someone else might find the island before he does.
My father and stepmother know how things are between Magnus and me, although I do not think they realize how serious are our intentions. I have an idea that they believe it to be a boy and girl romance. Calf love, they call it. They seem to forget that I am eighteen years old and Magnus is three years my senior. We are not children, but I suppose parents find it hard to realize that their children have grown up. Oddly enough, only a short time ago my stepmother was talking of giving parties for me so that I could meet a prospective husband. I suppose they feel that only a marriage which they have arranged could be a serious one.
My father's health has deteriorated lately. Sometimes he looks very tired. My stepmother takes great care of him. She is always fussing over him—rushing up with a rug for his knees if he is sitting in the garden and a cold wind blows up, making sure that he has a cushion behind his head when he dozes off. He is always chiding her for treating him like an invalid. But how he revels in it!
I was very glad when Desmond Featherstone disappeared soon after my birthday. I had been afraid that he would be hanging about, waylaying me when I went out. It was a great relief to find that he had gone.
I am writing all this in order to put off the moment when I must write of this terrible thing which has happened.
Freddy and I had been into Great Stanton in the gig. We had had a wonderful afternoon, calling at the Shop and being with Magnus. I had driven the gig home in a haze of happiness and as we came out of the stables to walk across to the house, a rider came towards us.
He pulled up and bowed his head in greeting. "Am I right in thinking you are Miss Mallory?" he asked.
I was startled. I knew him vaguely but could not remember who he was. I said: "Yes."
"I thought I recognized you. You were much younger when we met."
"I remember you now. You are a friend of my brother." My voice trailed off. A terrible presentiment had come to me.
"I have to speak to you. May I leave my horse in your stables and come to the house."
"What is it?" I cried. "Tell me quickly. Is it my brother?"
He nodded gravely.
"We have been so anxious," I said. "Is he ... dead?"
He said: "The ship was lost off the coast of Australia. I am, I believe, one of the few survivors."
I felt dizzy. I gripped Freddy's hand. I said: "Freddy, you'd better go and find your Aunt Lois. Tell her ... we have a visitor."
I took James Cardew to the stables and we were silent while the groom took his horse.
We walked slowly to the house together.
"I cannot tell you how it grieves me to be the carrier of such news," he said at length. "But I had to come to see you ... and your father."
"It was good of you," I told him. "He has not been very well lately. Let me break it to him first."
My father was dozing in the garden. I went to him and said: "We have a visitor. It is Mr. Cardew. Do you remember Mr. Cardew? He came to see Charles... just before he sailed. Oh, Papa, it is very sad news. Charles..."
I shall never forget my father's face. It was stricken. He looked old and tired.
My stepmother came down and sat by my father, holding his hand. James Cardew talked of the voyage, of the terrible night of shipwreck. It seemed to me that this was the fate of all who braved the sea. I had heard so much of the hazards from Magnus—and now it was like hearing the tragic story all over again. Only this one ended in death.
James Cardew did not stay long. I think he felt that the sight of him could only add to our sorrow.
Ours is a house of mourning tonight.
August 1st
The sadness persists. We cannot believe that we shall never see Charles again.
My stepmother has done everything she can to cheer my father. He had one of his turns the day after James Cardew left. My stepmother insisted that the doctor come. He said it was no surprise in view of the shock my father had received.
It was a particularly bad turn. He stayed in bed for a week. My stepmother read aloud to him from the Bible, which seemed to give him great comfort.
A few weeks after it happened my father seemed to arouse himself. He went into Great Stanton to see his lawyers.
He talked to me about it afterwards. "You see, Ann Alice, this makes a great difference. It means the end of our Mallory line. For centuries we have had Mallorys living in this house. Now the chain is broken."
"Do names matter?" I asked.
"Families do. People set great store by families. I have to think about this house and everything. If you marry and leave the country, what then? The family is scattered ... the name is lost. Charles would have continued here."
"Yes, I do see," I said. "But when all is told is it so very important. People should be happy. They find happiness with other people, not houses and names."
"You talk like a girl in love. It is Magnus, is it not?"
"Yes, it is Magnus."
"A bright young man. He is much travelled. He is in love with the business of map making ... as I never really was. Masters is like that. It absorbs some people. Masters says Magnus has a special talent for map making. He has adventure in his blood too. Your brother Charles was like that." He was silent for a moment then he went on: "I have had to see old Grampton."