I said I should be delighted to do so.
There were local people who came to dine with the family that night and we had another delightful evening. The next morning Raymond and I went out together. James said he would come with us and as we were about to leave for the stables, his mother called him back and said she wanted him to go into the town to do an errand for her. She herself was going to show Granny M how she made a special posset and they were going into the herb garden to collect the ingredients.
I guessed James had been called back so that Raymond and I could be alone together.
It was a lovely day for late August. The fields were bright with the waving corn. Raymond said: "There will be a bumper harvest this year." I thought the wind rustling through the ripening ears reminded me of the rise and fall of waves on a sandy shore and I was momentarily sad, thinking of Philip.
But it was not a morning for sadness. I had almost made up my mind that when Raymond asked me to marry him I would accept. If I were not madly in love, at least I was reasonably involved. I wanted this visit to go on and on; and when we returned home I should miss him. I tried to imagine how I should feel, if he announced tonight that he was going to marry someone else. There had been two pretty girls at dinner last night. What had I felt when I had seen him laughing and chatting with them? Was that a faint twinge of jealousy?
Granny M was right. My life with him would be very pleasant. I should be foolish if I did not take the opportunity which was being offered to me. Deep, abiding love could grow out of affection—and I certainly felt that for him.
I visualized how pleased everyone would be if we announced our engagement. It was what they wanted and I had a notion that they
expected us to announce it... perhaps on our last night. Then I should leave the house engaged to be married.
We should plunge into preparations. There would be so much to do that there would not be time to wonder where Philip was. I should forget now and then to look for a letter—only to have that hope dashed when there was none.
Yes, it seemed very likely that Raymond was going to ask me and that I was going to say Yes.
But he did not ask me that morning. Perhaps I had managed to convey my uncertainty to him.
The grandmother was not very well the next day so I did not go to see her as planned.
"Leave it for a day or so," said Grace. "She soon recovers and when she does she is very bright indeed. When you saw her she was not herself. She is usually very alert."
I said I thought she had been then, but Grace said: "Oh, but you don't know Grandmother. She can be very talkative when she is in form."
The days passed. There were rides with Raymond, Basil, and Grace. I very much enjoyed the evenings when we sat down to dinner with the family and sometimes their neighbours. They were rather given to entertaining. The conversation was always lively and when there were guests it diverged from cartography to politics. I listened avidly and as I had always taken an interest in affairs liked to contribute my own views.
One of the delightful aspects of life with the Billingtons was that if a subject was brought up it was always debated with some heat and not a little passion; but there was never any unpleasantness. It was in the nature of a debate rather than an argument.
The Irish question was, of course, on everyone's lips and the fate of Charles Stewart Parnell was discussed at some length. The divorce in which Captain O'Shea had cited him as co-respondent had ruined his career and the question was whether a man who was undoubtedly a leader should be condemned and dismissed from office on account of his private life.
I declared warmly that his work and his private life were two separate matters. I was assailed by Granny and Mrs. Billington who thought that Mr. Parnell's lapse from morality had rightly caused his fall from grace. Raymond was on my side. Grace hovered between the two; and Basil and James were inclined to agree with him while Mr. Billington swayed towards the point of view of Granny M and Mrs. Billington.
I had rarely enjoyed a meal so much and I thought: This is how it will be when I become one of them. It was a most exciting debate
and we sat long over the dinner table. And when the servants came to light the gas I was sure I wanted to stay here and become one of them.
I was enamoured of the entire family and the big rather ugly Victorian house which was so comfortable ... as they were.
If I did not agree to marry Raymond I was beginning to believe that I would regret it all my life.
The next morning we went riding again. It was one of those lovely days towards the end of the month when the first whiff of autumn is in the air and you know that September is just round the corner, bringing with it a chill in the mornings and mists in the valleys.
We stopped at an inn for a glass of cider and as we sat there Raymond smiled across the table at me and said: "I believe you are getting quite fond of my family."
"Who could help it," I replied.
"I agree that they are rather nice to know."
"And I could not agree more."
"The more you know of them the more you will love them. You will have to put up with Grace's absent-mindedness, with Basil's assumption that he knows everything and James's determination to prove that he does too; with my father's preoccupation with maps and my mother's with her garden; and mine... Well, I am not going to tell you my failings. I just hope you won't discover them for a very long time."
"I refuse to believe that you have any shortcomings. You're a perfect family and you all fit so well together. Granny and I are going to be sorry to leave you."
He put his hand across the table and took mine.
"You'll come back," he said. "You'll come back ... and stay for a long time."
"If we are asked," I said, "I think we might."
I believe he would have asked me to marry him then but just at that moment some rather noisy guests came into the inn parlour. They talked in very loud voices about the weather and the hunt ball which was to take place sometime... and they seemed to want to include us in their conversation.
It was as near as he had got to asking me. And I was certain he would do so before we left.
And at that moment I was sure of my answer. I was going to tell him that I wanted to marry him.
I should have done so but for one thing.
I had paid two visits to the grandmother. She seemed to like me to come. She would sit opposite me and watch me as she talked, her lively eyes beneath their bushy brows never leaving my face.
She told me she was very proud of her family and what they had achieved.
"They are a name to be reckoned with among people who make maps."
"Yes indeed," I agreed. "It is the same with my family. That was how we first met Raymond. At the conference... But you know that."
She nodded. "It was always the same. It was always the maps. Well, there is money in it. This house was built on maps, you might say."
"Oh yes indeed. It is quite a profitable business. Of course a great deal of risk and hard work goes into exploration behind and then the actual production of maps."
She smiled. "Your family too. They tell me you come from a family that can be traced right back to the days of the great Elizabeth."
"That's so. My grandmother always says that our ancestors were among those who sailed with Drake."
"I'd like to trace ours back. But there we are. We come to a full stop... and not far back either. The Billingtons are newcomers into the family. This house was built by my father. I was an only child and a girl. That meant the end of the family name. I married Joseph Billington, and that was the start of the Billingtons."
"I see."