"Is there any news about your going out to join your fiance?" asked Mrs. Billington of Felicity.
"Oh yes," replied Felicity. "I am planning to go in September. If I go early in the month I should escape the worst of the weather. It takes a long time to get there and it will be their summer by the time I do."
"How thrilling," said Grace.
"I'd love to go to Australia," added Basil. "You are lucky, Felicity."
"Oh yes, I am," she agreed, casting her eyes down.
Raymond said to me: "Felicity's fiance is in Australia and she is going out to join him."
"How exciting!" I said.
"I'm a little frightened" Felicity confessed. "The thought of all that sea which has to be crossed, and then going to a new country..."
"I shall go with you, niece," said Miss Cartwright, as though her presence would be a guarantee that all would be well. She was that sort of woman.
"One has to have a chaperone," said Grace. "Why can men go off on their own and not women?"
"Well, my dear," replied her mother, "a man can protect himself better than a woman."
"Some men are rather weak," commented Grace. "Some women are quite strong." She looked at Miss Cartwright and me.
I said: "Women in our society are treated as of secondary importance."
"Oh no," declared Raymond. "If we are oversolicitous that is because we prize you so much that we are determined that no ill shall befall you."
"I still think we are denied opportunities."
Everybody was getting interested and I could see this becoming a discussion on the rights of women in our modern society—and that was typical of dinner at the Billingtons.
I was right. It did; and the talk became lively and controversial. Granny M joined in wholeheartedly and so did I. Felicity said little. I came to the conclusion that she was rather a timid little creature.
Later I asked Raymond to tell me about her.
"It was a whirlwind courtship," he said. "William Granville came over for a few months, looking for a wife I believe, and he found Felicity. She is hardly the type to go off to the outback. It would have been different if William had been in Sydney or Melbourne or one of the towns. But I don't believe he is. I can't imagine Felicity on some vast property coping with droughts and forest fires and all the disasters one hears about."
"No. She hardly seems fitted for that. And she is going out in September?"
"So she says. Miss Cartwright will go with her. Felicity is an orphan and has been with her aunt since she lost her father some years ago. Miss Cartwright is a bit of a dragon as you have no doubt seen. It is a good thing that Felicity has her to go out with."
"I take it Miss Cartwright approves of the match."
"William Granville is a very forceful man. He's not so young. I should think he is a good fifteen years older than Felicity. He swept her off her feet, though. And I suppose it seemed very romantic. I hope
she will like it out there ... I can see that Jan is doing a good job with your grandmother."
"She is very proud of him. Benjamin is full of praise for him and you can guess how that delights her. I heard her talking about 4 my grandson' to someone the other day, and you should have heard the pride in her voice. It was a wonderful idea to bring him over."
"When you leave home she would have been so lonely. When are you going to, Annalice? My people are waiting to know. They think it is inevitable and they can't understand why we delay."
"Do they know... about Philip?"
"Of course."
"And they don't understand?"
He shook his head. "They think that I should be with you to comfort you if..."
"You say if. It seems like a certainty now. Where is he? Why do we hear nothing?"
"I don't know."
"It torments me."
"Marry me ... and I'll take you out there. I'll give up everything and we'll go together."
For a moment I was tempted. It was what I wanted. The idea of going there, to the place where Philip had gone, dazzled me.
I don't know why I hesitated. It was almost as though I could hear Ann Alice's voice saying: No. It is not the way. When the time comes for you to marry Raymond, you will know.
"Why not, Annalice?" He put his arms round me and held me close to him. It was so comforting to be held thus. I turned my face and buried it in his coat.
"We'll tell them tonight," he said.
I withdrew myself. "No, Raymond. I don't think it is the way. You can't leave your business ... just like that. I might have to stay there a long time. Think of the journey out ..."
"It could be a honeymoon."
"A honeymoon which could perhaps reveal a tragedy. I just know it is not the way."
"Think about it."
"Yes," I said. "I will think."
I don't know where I got the notion that Felicity was in love with Raymond. Was it the manner in which she looked at him? The way her voice changed when she spoke to him?
Raymond was of course a very distinguished man. Anyone would be proud of him. I realized what a fool I was to hesitate about marrying him. I did not always know why I did. It was something to do with the journal. I still kept it in a drawer at the back of my gloves and scarves, following in her footsteps. It was some impulse, some instinct, almost as though she were guiding me.
And now that same instinct would not let me say Yes to Raymond.
I thought a great deal about Felicity. I sought her company. She was not easy to talk to. She seemed to have firmly closed herself in, which could indicate that she had something she wished to hide.
I learned that her family had been friends of the Billingtons for years. Felicity's mother had died of a fever when Felicity was three years old, and Miss Cartwright, her mother's sister, had come to keep house for them. She had the care of Felicity from an early age and when her father had died had taken over completely.
Felicity, I began to believe, was rather frightened by the prospect of going overseas. She confessed to this.
"But it is so exciting," I said. "It is so romantic. A whirlwind courtship ... engagement and then going out to join your husband."
"He's not my husband yet," said Felicity, and the tone of her voice gave me a clue to her feelings.
I asked how long she had known Mr. Granville and she said only a month before they were engaged.
"Not very long," I commented.
"It all happened so quickly and it seemed right at the time."
"I think it will be most exciting."
"I'm not sure it will."
"But you'll have Miss Cartwright with you. So you'll have someone from home."
She nodded. "And you ..." she said. "I suppose you will marry Raymond."
"Oh, nothing has been settled yet."
"But he wants to and surely you ..."
"I do not think one should rush into these things."
She flushed a little and I realized the tactlessness of my remark. "... unless," I added, "one is very sure."
"Oh yes," she agreed, "unless one is sure."
There was a good deal I should like to have asked about Miss Felicity Derring, but her feelings were tightly shut away and she kept a firm hold on them, as though she were afraid for them to be known.
Raymond said to me: "I have an idea. Why should you not go out with Felicity and Miss Cartwright?" "What?" I cried.
"It's a way. They'll never agree to your going alone. You could get out to Australia. You might find out something there. Miss Cartwright will be in charge. She will stay for a while and then you and she can come back together."
"Oh Raymond," I said, "you do get the most wonderful ideas!"
"I know you will never settle until you know what happened to your brother. It is possible that you can find out something on the spot. He went to Australia. I daresay someone might have heard something of him in Sydney. You could try to contact that young man he went out with. David Gutheridge, wasn't it? He might still be around if he went on an expedition in that country. You'd be on the spot. You'd be company for Felicity too. I think she is getting a little uneasy and it would be good for her to have a friend with her. She wouldn't feel quite so lost in a new land."