"That's life. It is a matter of being in a certain place at a certain time. That is how we meet our fate."
"You don't understand. I was flattered to be taken notice of. I was pleased because someone wanted to marry me. I see now how stupid I was. You see, there was someone else. I love him, you see. I always have."
"And he?"
"He's in love with someone ... not me."
"Oh, Felicity, I'm so sorry."
"My aunt thought I should marry him. They all thought I should, but when he fell in love with this other one, that was the end. Ever since I was fourteen I thought... Well, we were friends, our families I mean, great friends. We saw each other often ... and when he was in love with someone else ... and it was so obvious ... I just felt lost and lonely and terribly hurt and when William said, 'Will you marry me and come back to Australia with me,' I thought it was a good way out ... till I realized what it meant."
"I understand so much now, Felicity," I said. "I knew something was troubling you."
"And soon I shall be there ... all alone."
"You'll have your husband."
"That ... is what I am afraid of."
I tried to comfort her. "I think a lot of brides feel like this on the eve of their weddings."
"Do you?"
"I'm sure of it."
"I'm glad you came with me, Annalice."
"You know why I wanted to come."
"Yes, because of your brother."
We were silent for a while.
Then I said: "Felicity, are you asleep?"
"No."
"It will be all right," I told her.
She did not answer.
There were hot days while we crossed the Indian Ocean and our constant companion was Milton Harrington.
"Don't forget I have promised Miss Cartwright to keep a wary eye on you," he said. "She will almost be home by now, poor lady. I am glad I was able to alleviate her sufferings."
"You were most assiduous in your care for her," I told him.
"I am a very humane man."
"You are certainly not a modest one."
"I deplore modesty. It is almost always false, you know. I prefer to come out into the open. If I had a poor opinion of myself I should expect others to have the same."
"Because in your case you think you must always be right. Therefore if you were modest—which it is almost impossible to conceive—there would have to be a reason for it. And as that is equally impossible, you could never be modest."
"It seems a little involved but I imagine your reasoning is correct, Miss Annalice. When we reach Sydney, which we shall do very shortly, I shall want you to come to Cariba to visit me."
"Oh, but I am going to stay with Felicity for a while."
"You know I promised the estimable Miss Cartwright to look after you. I am to book your passage home and to see that you are accompanied by suitable companions."
"There was no mention of a trip to Cariba."
"I want to show you the plantation. Why are you so remote? An ice queen, that is what you are. I believe I have the means of melting the ice, and as queens are women, stripped of their regality they are quite human really."
"I am surprised I seem icy to you. I thought I was being rather friendly."
"You did express gratitude for what I did for Miss Cartwright certainly. Sometimes when I catch you on the deck or elsewhere I fancy I see a little gleam of warmth in your eyes ... as though they are glad to see me."
"I find you entertaining."
"Indeed? Shall I tell you what I find you?"
"I am sure you are going to, whether I give my permission or not."
"Right again. I find you enchanting."
I was silent and he leaned towards me and taking my hand, kissed it.
"I want you to come to Cariba and stay awhile," he said. "I am not going to lose you. I am determined in that."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I am obsessed by you. I am delighted by everything about you. The way you look, the way you talk... even your cool manner towards me... everything enchants me. This is the most delightful and exciting voyage I have ever made—and I have made many. And why? The answer is clear. It is due to Miss Annalice Mallory."
"I think I should tell you that I am contemplating marriage with someone in England."
"Then the contemplation must cease."
I couldn't help laughing. "You are the most arrogant man."
"It is what you admire so much."
"Who said I admire you?"
"You do. In a hundred ways. Words are not always necessary. You and I... together ... That is how it should be. I'll take you out to the plantation. Well have a wonderful time together. Never mind this man in England. How can he love you? If he did, he would never allow you to take a trip to the other side of the world without him. Where is he? / would not let you out of my sight."
"You are very vehement, Mr. Harrington. I expect you have a wife at home on your island and this is a prelude to some planned seduction."
"I have no wife ... as yet. But I intend to remedy that."
"Is this a proposal of marriage?"
"You don't imagine I would suggest anything else to a lady of your breeding and character?"
"You are absurd."
"It is maddening on this ship. There are people everywhere. I want to be alone with you. There is nowhere to go. I want to show you what it is like to be really loved."
"I have already told you that I know very well what it is like to be loved. I have been surrounded by loved ones all my life. And now I have already told you that I have an understanding with someone at home who is very dear to me. When I go back I am going to be married."
"I don't believe it," he said.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Your belief or disbelief does not alter the facts."
"I shall not let you go, you know. I am not the man to meet the one person in the world I want to marry and then let her slip away from me."
"You are a very forceful man who is in the habit of getting his own way. I don't doubt that. But this is one occasion when you will not. In view of what you have just said, I think it would be better if you and I saw less of each other."
He laughed. "You are the perfect English Miss at times. I love it. But it is not you really."
He turned to me suddenly and took me into his arms and kissed me violently on the lips. I had never been so kissed before. I tried to push him away and was immediately aware of his immense strength. I was breathless, angry and yet excited.
At length he released me.
"There," he said. "I wish we could be somewhere alone."
"Can you not understand that there are some people in this world who are determined to resist what you think of as your irresistible charms?"
"It strains my understanding too far," he said.
And I found myself laughing with him. I should be angry, I knew, so I tried to simulate anger.
If I were honest I would admit that I was enjoying this. I could not help being flattered that he had singled me out for this attention. Instinct told me he would have had numerous love affairs and I could not—or should not—deceive myself into thinking that he found me different from his conquests. What he was implying now was no doubt a well-tried method.
But although I did not believe in his sincerity, I was attracted in a way in which I had never been to anyone else before. It was purely physical, something I had never felt for Raymond. Though I was perfectly aware that Raymond was the better man.
I said: "I hope you will not repeat this conduct."
"You cannot know me very well if you hope that—but of course you don't hope that. Perhaps you really hope that I will."
"Mr. Harrington, I must ask you to stop this nonsense."
"You sound so formal."
"I want to be formal."
"I admit it has its charms. When you finally admit to your true feelings I shall hear you say, 'I love you, Mr. Harrington. 1 "