"I wouldn't worry about that. You'll be far away. In time you'll forget this place ever existed."
"Home," she said. "It's like a different world."
"It won't be long now. You could get on a ship and be home very soon. I shall not go yet. I have things to do."
"I know. And I stopped you, didn't I? I want to stay with you, Annalice."
"All right then. We'll be together. It will be exciting. We shall go to Cariba."
"Yes... yes ... as long as I am with you. And in time we'll go home together."
She was lying down now, smiling.
Then she said: "But I have to tell you about that night."
"Go on then ... tell me."
"I shan't rest until I have told you. I want you to tell me that I am not wicked."
"Of course you are not wicked. Whatever happened, he deserved it."
"Well, he came back into the room. I was sleeping. I was so tired, Annalice. I was always tired. Those fearful nights ..."
"Don't think of them. Just tell me."
"He came back. It was a long time after ... It must have been more than an hour. He was very drunk. He looked awful. He shouted: 'Wake up. I suppose I'll have to make do with you.' Yes... that's what he said. It flashed into my mind that he might have quarrelled with Mrs. Maken. Then something seemed to snap in me. I couldn't endure any more. I pushed him away. It was only because he was so drunk that I was able to do it. I jumped out of bed and picked up the pistol, the one we were supposed to carry round with us. I said, 'If you touch me I will shoot myself.'"
"Oh no, Felicity!"
"Yes... yes ... He laughed at me. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I would have killed myself. I could not stand any more of him. It was too degrading, too humiliating. It was everything that I hated. I hated him and that made me hate myself. I felt unclean ... unworthy to live. He came after me and I ran onto the balcony. He caught me. He was trying to get the gun away from me. He was laughing. He was very drunk. Then suddenly ... I may have pushed him. I don't know. I can't remember clearly. The balcony gave way ... the gun went off... it spun out of our hands and fell clattering below... and there he was lying beside it... with blood all over him. I screamed... and that was when you came in."
"I see," I said.
"Do you? I think I may have fired the shot that killed him."
"It was a struggle, the gun went off. Stop thinking about it. It's over. Whatever happened wasn't your fault."
"Oh, it wasn't, was it?"
"No, no. You must remember that."
"I will. I feel so much better now I've told. Perhaps I should have told those men, but how could I without explaining things that I didn't want to talk about?"
"It was better as it was. He's gone. That's the end of it. You're free, Felicity, gloriously free. That's what you have to think about."
"Thank you, Annalice. I'm so glad you're here."
"Well, we shall be together... and in time we'll go home."
"That would be wonderful. Home. I wish I had never left it."
"You'll love it all the more when you get back. Just think; tomorrow we shall walk out of this place and leave it all behind us forever."
"It's wonderful. I shall think of that. I shall try to forget. Talking did help."
She was silent and after a while she slept.
I did not go to bed. I sat in the chair and dozed. I saw the dawn come into the sky, the glorious dawn of the day of departure.
The next day we were jolting across the roads to Sydney, and with every passing minute my spirits lifted. The nightmare is over, I thought. Now we can go on from here.
We arrived in the evening and I was relieved to find they had a room at the Crown. We both had a good meal and a good night's sleep; and in the morning we were greatly refreshed.
My first task was to call at the Botanical Association. I left Felicity in the hotel while I set out.
There was good news. David Gutheridge had returned from the expedition and was at this time in Sydney.
They had informed him of my previous visit and he had asked them to give me his address if I called again. This was great progress and I was delighted.
He was staying at a small hotel not far from the Crown and I went there immediately. Another stroke of good luck awaited me. He was in.
He received me warmly. I had met him when he and Philip were making their preparations, so we were not entirely strangers.
He took me into a small room and we settled down to talk.
I said: "We have had no news of Philip ... for a very long time."
"It is strange," he said. "I heard nothing of him. I did make enquiries at the time and no one could tell me anything."
"Where did you make enquiries?"
"It was at a hotel on one of the islands ... the biggest of the group. Cariba actually."
"Oh yes ... I did hear he was there."
"Apparently he made it his headquarters for a while."
"Yes?" I said eagerly.
"He was determined to find some island, wasn't he? I remember he had a map and the mysterious thing was that the island did not appear where it should have been ... according to the map. It wasn't on any other map either. But Philip was certain this island existed somewhere... and he was going to find it."
"What was the last you heard of him?"
"It was in Cariba actually. There is a sugar plantation on it... and on one of the others too, I believe. Yes, he was there when I heard the last of him. They said he left suddenly."
"Left the hotel, you mean?"
"Yes ... the hotel. That's all I can tell you. He was staying there. It was his headquarters for a while because he was sure the island was in that vicinity. Apparentiy he just left... and no one heard of him after that."
"I see."
He looked at me ruefully. "I'm afraid I'm not much help. It is all I can tell you though. It is a long time now, isn't it?"
"It is more than two years."
"All that time since he disappeared!"
"Yes. He did write once... and that was all we heard. I decided I just had to come out here and find out."
"And you are not getting very far."
"No. The only thing I have discovered is that he had been to Cariba. A man whom I met coming over told me that."
"I was a little while in Cariba. It's practically owned by the man who has the sugar plantation. He's a sort of big white chief."
"That would be the man I met. Milton Harrington."
"That's the man."
"He was quite helpful to me and to the ladies I was travelling with."
"Cariba would appear to be the last place he was seen."
"And you have no idea where he might have gone from there?"
"I'm afraid I haven't. Unless he went off in a boat somewhere. Squalls blow up pretty fast in this part of the world and small boats... well, they don't have much chance."
"It seems strange—if that were the case—that he told no one he was going."
"He may have done so."
"I thought someone at the hotel might be able to throw some light on his disappearance."
"That might be so. If I hear anything, Miss Mallory, I'll contact you. You're going to Cariba, are you? You'll be at the hotel. It's the only one actually. If I should hear of anything ... or something occurs to me, I'll write to you."
"That is kind of you."
He looked at me quizzically. "You've got a hard task ahead of you, I'm afraid."
"I'm prepared for that. But I am determined to find out what has happened to my brother."
"Best of luck," he said warmly.
He clasped my hand, and said he would escort me back to the Crown, which he did.
On the following Wednesday, Felicity and I left for Cariba.
THE ISLAND OF CARIBA
It was early on the Thursday morning when we came into Cariba.