drawer... and that is missing. Where is the map of the island? Someone must have taken it. And whoever took it would have seen the bottle of pills there, for they were together.
I had another search for the map.
Maria came up to make my bed and do the room. I was sitting there waiting for her.
"Maria," I said, "have you seen a map of mine?"
"A map?"
"Yes ... a map. Not very big. Like this." I showed her with my hands. "I've lost it."
"On the terrace. I saw you show a map to someone once. That was a long time ago."
I thought: They watch us all the time.
"No, I didn't lose it then. I thought it was here in my room and I can't find it now."
"I look," she said.
"I've looked everywhere."
"I find. Mrs. Granville she lose her scarf. Cannot find. Not in her room. I found ... under the bed." She laughed as though that was a great joke. "I find map," she added.
No, I could not suspect Maria.
I left her and went downstairs. I sat there for a while wondering whether I should go to Milton and tell him what I feared.
He would immediately think I had spoken to Raymond and made it clear that I was going to marry him, Milton. If I told him what had happened he would want me to leave the hotel and go to his house. I smiled. Well, I should feel safe there.
John Everton strolled by.
"Good morning," he said. "How are you?"
"Well, thank you. And you?"
"Very well."
He did not stop.
I sat there brooding. What if the pills had dropped out of the bottle? I had taken them out to count them. I could have dropped four of them then. It was hardly likely but such things did happen. Those four pills might be lying in the drawer. How foolish I should look if I said that someone had put pills into my milk—and then they were discovered. And the map? Had I put that somewhere myself?
To say the least I had been in an excited state ever since my experiences at the Granville house. I might have been careless... absent-minded; and now, after having been concerned in an act of violence, was I allowing my imagination to run amok?
Magda was coming up from the waterfront. She saw me and waved.
My first thought was: She has come to see if I am dead.
However she expressed no surprise to see me sitting there. Then of course she wouldn't. If she was clever enough to arrange my death she would certainly be able to control her feelings.
"Good morning. How nice to see you," she said.
"You're very early."
"I came with my cook to shop. He's gone on to the market. I thought I'd call and see you."
"How nice of you!"
"Are you well?" She was looking at me intently and I felt my suspicions rise.
"Yes, thank you, very well."
"I'm giving a dinner party tomorrow night and I want you to come. I'm asking Milton, of course, and I wonder if your friend would feel well enough. I hear you have another friend staying at the hotel. Perhaps he would like to come too."
"He is out now and so is Mrs. Granville. I will tell them of your invitation when they come in."
"It is something of a celebration."
"Really?"
"Yes. My engagement to George."
"Oh." I felt deflated. If she were going to marry George why should she want me out of the way?
"Well, it's the sensible thing to do. I wonder we didn't before."
"He is a very charming man," I said.
"I think so, too."
"I am sure you will be very happy."
"Then you will come?"
"I shall be delighted to."
"And ask your friends. I'm going up to the plantation to ask Milton when we've been to the market. I'd better be off now. I have a good deal to do. I'm glad I saw you. Au revoir."
I went back to my room. Maria had finished and was gone.
So Magda was going to marry George. I saw how foolish I was to have suspected her. Moreover, how could she have put the pills into my milk. There were only two people who could have done that. Maria or Felicity.
I wondered about Felicity. I had always thought she was rather ineffectual. Yet was she? What had really happened on the balcony that night? He had left me and gone down to drink. Then he went in to her. She said she had come to the end of her endurance. She had picked up the gun and threatened to shoot herself. Had she, or had she threatened to kill him?
She had never been able to shoot straight. But perhaps ... My imagination was running on, playing tricks. I could see it all so clearly. Her fear, her loathing... and there he was lumbering towards her ... drunk. I could imagine her rushing to the balcony. Did she shoot? Did she do it deliberately? I could not blame her if she did. But did she?
Whatever the reason, murder was murder and I reckoned that no one who had committed it—however provoked—could ever be quite the same again.
Was that how it had happened?
That shot had saved her possibly from a life of degradation and misery. Just one shot... Now ... four pills could save her from a lifetime of frustrated longing; they could give her a lifetime with Raymond.
He loved her, I knew, in his quiet way.
Oh, it was fitting very well.
I wanted to go to Milton, but something held me back. I did not want to talk even to him of my suspicions of Felicity. My common sense made me reject them as ridiculous fantasy. But Felicity did have a reason to wish me out of her way... just as she had to be rid of William Granville.
There was a difference. He had been bestial towards her. I was her friend. How often had she said she did not know what she would have done without me? But I stood between her and what she wanted most in life.
It was impossible to think of Felicity as a murderess—that quiet, gentle girl. But what do we know of the hidden parts of people's minds. How well do we know each other?
I went back to my room. I turned out the drawer. Could those pills have been caught up in my gloves or scarves? I went through everything thoroughly. I searched for the map. What had happened to it? It was evident that someone had gone through my possessions.
Why should the map have disappeared? I could not accuse Felicity of taking that.
It was all very mysterious. I thought: I will go over to Milton, but not yet. Magda would be there.
What would that matter? She was going to tell him of her celebration dinner. What did a man feel about a woman with whom he had had a very special relationship when she had decided to marry someone else?
I felt simple ... ignorant of the world. There was so much I had to learn, and what I had learned since I left England was how little I knew.
I thought: I will go to him this afternoon, after the intense heat of the day is over.
I went out to the terrace. The sounds of the harbour seemed some way off. I sat down, my thoughts in a maze of speculation.
I saw Magda among the stalls. Her cook was with her—a very tall man in blue trousers and a white shirt against which his skin shone like ebony. They were bargaining, after the custom of shoppers.
I watched them idly for a moment. Then I saw Milton.
Magda had turned to him. She held out her hand. He took it and I saw them laughing together.
Then he left her and was making his way to the hotel.
I ran down to meet him, relief flooding over me.
"I'm so glad you've come," I said.
"What a pleasant welcome! Have you settled things with Raymond?"
I shook my head.
"I have had no opportunity. Felicity is there all the time. They have gone off together. She is in love with him and in a way he is with her. I don't think it is going to be so very difficult."
"Are you all right, Annalice?"
"Why do you ask?"
"You look pale, strained ..."
I said: "I want to talk to you. Something strange happened. Shall we sit on the terrace?"