``The cloister or a betrothed husband?'' I echoed---``Is that the alternative destined for Miss Vernon?''
``It is indeed,'' said Rashleigh, with a sigh. ``I need not, I suppose, caution you against the danger of cultivating too closely the friendship of Miss Vernon;---you are a man of the world, and know how far you can indulge yourself in her society with safety to yourself, and justice to her. But I warn you, that, considering her ardent temper, you must let your experience keep guard over her as well as yourself, for the specimen of yesterday may serve to show her extreme thoughtlessness and neglect of decorum.''
There was something, I was sensible, of truth, as well as good sense, in all this; it seemed to be given as a friendly warning, and I had no right to take it amiss; yet I felt I could with pleasure have run Rashleigh Osbaldistone through the body all the time he was speaking.
``The deuce take his insolence!'' was my internal meditation. ``Would he wish me to infer that Miss Vernon had fallen in love with that hatchet-face of his, and become degraded so low as to require his shyness to cure her of an imprudent passion? I will have his meaning from him,'' was my resolution, ``if I should drag it out with cart-ropes.''
For this purpose, I placed my temper under as accurate a guard as I could, and observed, ``That, for a lady of her good sense and acquired accomplishments, it was to be regretted that Miss Vernon's manners were rather blunt and rustic.''
``Frank and unreserved, at least, to the extreme,'' replied Rashleigh: ``yet, trust me, she has an excellent heart. To tell you the truth, should she continue her extreme aversion to the cloister, and to her destined husband, and should my own labours in the mine of Plutus promise to secure me a decent independence, I shall think of reviewing our acquaintance and sharing it with Miss Vernon.''
``With all his fine voice, and well-turned periods,'' thought I, ``this same Rashleigh Osbaldistone is the ugliest and most conceited coxcomb I ever met with!''
``But,'' continued Rashleigh, as if thinking aloud, ``I should not like to supplant Thorncliff.''
``Supplant Thorncliff!---Is your brother Thorncliff,'' I inquired, with great surprise, ``the destined husband of Diana Vernon?''
``Why, ay, her father's commands, and a certain family-contract, destined her to marry one of Sir Hildebrand's sons. A dispensation has been obtained from Rome to Diana Vernon to marry Blank Osbaldistone, Esq., son of Sir Hildebrand Osbaldistone, of Osbaldistone Hall, Bart., and so forth; and it only remains to pitch upon the happy man whose name shall fill the gap in the manuscript. Now, as Percie is seldom sober, my father pitched on Thorncliff, as the second prop of the family, and therefore most proper to carry on the line of the Osbaldistones.''
``The young lady,'' said I, forcing myself to assume an air of pleasantry, which, I believe, became me extremely ill, ``would perhaps have been inclined to look a little lower on the family-tree, for the branch to which she was desirous of clinging.''
``I cannot say,'' he replied. ``There is room for little choice in our family; Dick is a gambler, John a boor, and Wilfred an ass. I believe my father really made the best selection for poor Die, after all.''
``The present company,'' said I, ``being always excepted.''
``Oh, my destination to the church placed me out of the question; otherwise I will not affect to say, that, qualified by my education both to instruct and guide Miss Vernon, I might not have been a more creditable choice than any of my elders.''
``And so thought the young lady, doubtless?''
``You are not to suppose so,'' answered Rashleigh, with an affectation of denial which was contrived to convey the strongest affirmation the case admitted of: ``friendship---only friendship ---formed the tie betwixt us, and the tender affection of an opening mind to its only instructor---Love came not near us--- I told you I was wise in time.''
I felt little inclination to pursue this conversation any farther, and shaking myself clear of Rashleigh, withdrew to my own apartment, which I recollect I traversed with much vehemence of agitation, repeating aloud the expressions which had most offended me.---``Susceptible---ardent---tender affection---Love--- Diana Vernon, the most beautiful creature I ever beheld, in love with him, the bandy-legged, bull-necked, limping scoundrel! Richard the Third in all but his hump-back!---And yet the opportunities he must have had during his cursed course of lectures; and the fellow's flowing and easy strain of sentiment; and her extreme seclusion from every one who spoke and acted with common sense; ay, and her obvious pique at him, mixed with admiration of his talents, which looked as like the result of neglected attachment as anything else---Well, and what is it to me, that I should storm and rage at it? Is Diana Vernon the first pretty girl that has loved and married an ugly fellow? And if she were free of every Osbaldistone of them, what concern is it of mine?---a Catholic---a Jacobite---a termagant into the boot---for me to look that way were utter madness.''
By throwing such reflections on the flame of my displeasure, I subdued it into a sort of smouldering heart-burning, and appeared at the dinner-table in as sulky a humour as could well be imagined.
CHAPTER TWELFTH.
Drunk?---and speak parrot?---and squabble?---swagger?--- Swear?---and discourse fustian with one's own shadow? Othello.
I have already told you, my dear Tresham, what probably was no news to you, that my principal fault was an unconquerable pitch of pride, which exposed me to frequent mortification. I had not even whispered to myself that I loved Diana Vernon; yet no sooner did I hear Rashleigh talk of her as a prize which he might stoop to carry off, or neglect, at his pleasure, than every step which the poor girl had taken, in the innocence and openness of her heart, to form a sort of friendship with me, seemed in my eyes the most insulting coquetry.---``Soh! she would secure me as a pis aller, I suppose, in case Mr. Rashleigh Osbaldistone should not take compassion upon her! But I will satisfy her that I am not a person to be trepanned in that manner---I will make her sensible that I see through her arts, and that I scorn them.''
I did not reflect for a moment, that all this indignation, which I had no right whatever to entertain, proved that I was anything but indifferent to Miss Vernon's charms; and I sate down to table in high ill-humour with her and all the daughters of Eve.
Miss Vernon heard me, with surprise, return ungracious answers to one or two playful strokes of satire which she threw out with her usual freedom of speech; but, having no suspicion that offence was meant, she only replied to my rude repartees with jests somewhat similar, but polished by her good temper, though pointed by her wit. At length she perceived I was really out of humour, and answered one of my rude speeches thus:---
``They say, Mr. Frank, that one may gather sense from fools---I heard cousin Wilfred refuse to play any longer at cudgels the other day with cousin Thornie, because cousin Thornie got angry, and struck harder than the rules of amicable combat, it seems, permitted. `Were I to break your head in good earnest,' quoth honest Wilfred, `I care not how angry you are, for I should do it so much the more easily but it's hard I should get raps over the costard, and only pay you back in make-believes'---Do you understand the moral of this, Frank?''
``I have never felt myself under the necessity, madam, of studying how to extract the slender portion of sense with which this family season their conversation.''
``Necessity! and madam!---You surprise me, Mr. Osbaldistone.''
``I am unfortunate in doing so.''
``Am I to suppose that this capricious tone is serious? or is it only assumed, to make your good-humour more valuable?''