She loved to watch him let go. To witness that moment when he lost all control and spent himself inside her, his face contorted in ecstasy. But this time, as he shuddered against her and cried out in triumph, she kept her eyes tightly closed. She didn’t want to lose herself to him again. Hated how he made her feel—weak, needy, dependent. She hated everything about him, except the way he pleasured her body.
When his tremors stilled, he collapsed on top of her, cocooning her in his arms. He pressed a kiss to her temple, but she didn’t want his feigned tenderness. The jerk! She squirmed to get away. He lifted his head to look down at her.
“You can get off me now,” she said between clenched teeth.
A muscle above his left eye twitched. He pulled out and rolled off her, settling beside her on his side. He kissed her shoulder and rested a hand on her naked belly, releasing a sigh of contentment. She brushed his hand aside, rolled off the bed, and reached for her clothes.
She drew her panties up her thighs. “I’m glad we got that out of our systems.”
He rolled onto his back and covered his eyes with his forearm. “Yeah.”
She dressed quickly, not bothering with her bra or sandals. She needed to get away. Quickly. She couldn’t let him see how wounded she was. Not when she knew how indifferent he felt. How many dozens of women had he fucked the same way he’d just fucked her? She didn’t want to know.
She left the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her. She burst into the tiny bathroom and locked herself inside. Caught off guard by the wrenching pain in her chest, she sucked a raged breath into her lungs.
Sed meant nothing to her. Nothing. She was over him. And she hated him. She hated him so much. She pounded the flimsy wall with her fist. Hated him… hated…
She bit her lip, trying to stop its trembling. No good. She lowered her face into her hands and let the tears fall, struggling to keep her sobs as quiet as possible.
He had never experienced this kind of hurt. Just once she’d like to take him down a notch. Make him suffer, like she suffered. Make him pay for his callous disregard for other people’s feelings. And it wasn’t just her. How many other women had he used and discarded?
“Payback is a motherfucker,” she murmured under her breath, tears dripping from her chin. “Let’s see how you like being used, Playboy.”
Chapter 11
When Jessica closed the door behind her, Sed moved his arm from his face and stared up at the ceiling, trying to get his emotions under control. It was hard enough to keep his thoughts off the woman when she was hundreds, sometimes thousands, of miles away. But now? With her this close? How would he survive? And how could Myrna do this to him? He’d thought she understood how hard this was for him. She probably thought she was doing him a favor.
The door opened and Sed lifted his head from the pillow for one happy millisecond thinking Jessica had returned.
Eric peeked in. “Are you finished?”
“Unfortunately.” If he’d known she’d be gone in a heartbeat, he would have made it last longer. Sed peeled the condom from his dick and disposed of it. He rolled off the mattress and slid into a pair of gym shorts.
“You can join us, Sed,” said one of the three girls he’d brought on the bus.
“No, thanks.” He pushed past the girl and into the hall.
She shrugged and grabbed Eric by the shirt, tugging him into the bedroom.
“Are you okay, dude?” Eric asked Sed with genuine concern in his vivid blue eyes.
“Yeah, I’m gonna catch a nap.”
Eric’s brow furrowed. “The other two girls headed for the pigsty bus with the roadies.” His girl was yanking on his arm now, but he held on to the doorframe. “I think Trey’s partying over there and Dare will probably show up later.”
It would be nice to hang out with Dare; Sed hadn’t seen him in a while, but he shook his head. The last thing he felt like doing was socializing. “I’m tired. You have fun.”
Eric released the doorframe and let the girl pull him inside the bedroom. He kicked the door shut.
Sed climbed into the bottom bunk next to the bathroom and pulled the curtain closed. He punched his pillow a few times, settled into a comfortable position and closed his eyes. His mind was too full to sleep, but at least he could hide reasonably well in the curtained bunk.
Soft crying sounds came from the other side of the thin wall near his head. Someone sniffed their nose. Toilet paper unrolled. A nose blown delicately. Who was crying in the bathroom? Not one of the groupies. Eric had said they’d gone to the other bus.
Jessica?
His heart stuttered.
Maybe she did care about him.
But she’d jetted from the bed the instant he’d tried to be tender with her. Was she so disgusted with their lovemaking that she was in tears? What else could it be?
Sed slid out of the bunk and knocked on the bathroom door.
“Oc-occupied,” Jessica called.
“Are you crying?”
She hesitated. “Of course not.”
He leaned his forearm against the doorframe, his hand clenched into a fist. “Are you almost finished? I need to use the facilities.”
“Yeah, just a minute.”
Water splashed into the tiny sink. He heard her sniff her nose again, and then she slid the door open. She had her head ducked down as she tried to brush past him. He poked her in the ribs and she glared up at him. Just as he’d suspected. Her eyes and nose were red and puffy.
“You were so crying.”
“Just leave me alone, Sed. You’re the last person on Earth I want to see right now.”
She was the only person on Earth he wanted to see. Ever.
He let her pass and entered the bathroom, closing the door quietly. He didn’t really need to use the bathroom. He’d just wanted to be near her. Even if she did spout her hatred at him. Hatred was better than nothing. Hatred he could deal with. He couldn’t deal with nothing. He’d tried to deal with nothing for two years. It never went away. Just sat there inside his chest as a big empty hole.
Sed flushed the unused toilet and washed his hands. He opened the door and stood in the doorway. Jessica’s shoulder dominated his attention as she sat at the dining room table booting up Myrna’s laptop. He needed an excuse to be in the dining area. Any excuse. His stomach rumbled on cue.
He found some shrimp scampi and pasta primavera in the refrigerator. Leftovers from the feast Myrna had made for Trey the same day she’d agreed to marry Brian. Had it really only been three days ago?
Sed glanced over his shoulder and caught Jessica staring at his naked back reflectively.
When her eyes met his, she jerked and rapidly keyed several numbers into her spreadsheet.
“Are you hungry?”
“A little,” she admitted quietly.
When he placed a plate of warmed-over food on the table beside the computer, she glanced up from her work and smiled. His heart skipped a beat.
“Thanks,” she murmured.
Her gaze dropped to his bare chest. Her tongue darted out between her lips. She shook her head slightly and then focused her attention on her food.
“This smells awesome,” she said. “Did you make it?”
“If by make it, you mean heat it up, yeah. But Myrna cooked it. She has a soft spot for Trey’s stomach.” He chuckled. “All our stomachs benefit from that helpless puppy look of his.”
She laughed. “I don’t think there’s a woman on Earth who can say no to that look.”
“Quite a few men can’t say no to it either.”
She smiled. A genuine smile that softened her features and lit her eyes. Sed’s breath caught. God, he’d missed that smile. And those lips. Against his.
“Is Trey still batting for both teams?” she asked.