I smile. “Are you trying to say that you are falling for me, Holly?”
She laughs. “I don’t know what I’m saying, but I do know that when you first came here I would’ve never pictured myself in this moment—wrapped in your arms after having the best sex of my life.”
To hear her say some of the same things I’m thinking right now is crazy. “I know exactly what you mean. Ever since Jessica, I’ve kept my emotions on lock-down. I’ve never spent much time with a woman until you. Normally I just…” I freeze trying to refrain from sounding like a complete asshole.
“Normally you just have sex and then get rid of them?” She fills in the blanks.
“Yeah…that makes me sound like a shallow fuck,” I admit.
She nods. “It does, but given what you’ve been through with your ex-wife, I understand why you’re like that. I don’t know what makes me so different, though.”
“In the bar when I first kissed you, I’ll admit I had every intention of sleeping with you and then walking away. I know that’s harsh, but it’s the truth. I saw you and I wanted you. I didn’t even care if Max was with you or not. I planned on stealing you away from him, taking you to my hotel and having my way with you. But Max threw a wrench in that plan with he dragged you away. I stood there for a second, debating whether to chase you down…”
“But?” she prods.
“Another chick threw herself willingly into my arms and latched her lips on mine, so I took the easy way out. I figured Max was your jealous boyfriend and if I went after you there would be a fight. As much as you probably don’t believe it, I try to avoid those at all costs. I, more than anyone, know how quickly a simple fight can escalate to the point where the law gets involved.”
“Is that why you didn’t hit Jackson back the other day?”
My nose tingles at the thought of Jackson sucker punching me. If things were different, I would’ve beat that little shit into the ground. “It is. When I was a kid, I fought all the time. I fought with my brother, other kids at school, whoever. All it took was someone to look at me wrong and I would go after them without a second thought. Spending time in jail, and then living on probation for a year, really opened my eyes and I realized that sometimes it’s better to just walk away.”
Holly shoves her hair back from her face. “She really screwed you up, didn’t she?”
I sigh. “She did, but I try to focus on the positive side of things. If I hadn’t gone through all the things I have in my life, I wouldn’t be here, right now, with you. This”—I squeeze her in my arms—“is amazing. You’re amazing. I can’t explain why, but I’m happy being with you.”
She snuggles into my chest. “Me too. All this time, I thought Jackson was who I wanted, but tonight, it’s like I saw his true colors. He’s not who I thought he was, but more importantly, lately he’s not the man that’s been on my mind all the time either.”
I rest my chin on her head as I think about just how she’s been on my mind too. “You’ve been thinking about me? Why didn’t you say anything? Since that day on the couch, all I’ve done is dream about you. I didn’t say anything to you, because you never mentioned it. You barely looked at me after that. I figured you regretted it and were doing your best to forget, which hurt.”
She pulls away so she can face me. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I felt confused and I had to take a step back from you. I’m not the kind of girl that sleeps around and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that with you yet. I felt a connection with you, and I’m pretty sure you felt it too, but part of me was still in love with Jackson. I had to sort out everything I was feeling for both of you.”
I tuck a strand behind her ear. “I guess I can understand that. You were with Jackson a long time. Are you sure things are really over between the two of you? I need to know now because when I fall in love, I fall hard. I don’t want you to give me yourself now, but then decide you still love him.”
I swallow as I wait on her answer, knowing exactly how dangerous it is to open up my heart to someone again. Something I swore to myself I’d never do again.
Holly touches my face with her fingers. “It’s hard to say this, but I’m over Jackson. I know now what we had wasn’t love. I mean, real love wouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself, or hurt you all the time, right? I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m still searching for the right guy.”
I bite the corner of my lower lip. “And you think that’s me?”
She shrugs. “I have no idea. I just want someone’s unconditional love—something that’s true.”
I thread my fingers through hers. “Everyone wants that.”
I don’t believe I’ve ever said a more true statement in my life. I had always been a hopeless romantic until Jessica crushed the idea of love for me. Opening myself up to someone isn’t something I believed would ever happen again—that is until Holly. There’s something about her that feels like home and is safe, and she makes me want to love someone again. Being with her is changing me.
Chapter 11
Radioactive
Holly
Trip tugs his cell phone out of his pocket and glances down at it. “It’s getting late. We should probably go in.”
I swing my legs off his lap and place my feet on the floor while grabbing his hand. “Come on. We can go to my room.”
A wicked grin spreads across his face. “Again? You’re going to kill me on our first night together. You really were deprived.”
I giggle and lead him towards the door, walking backwards in front of him. “I really was. Looks like we’re just going to have to keep at it until this craving goes away.”
He shakes his head and grabs me around the waist, pulling me against his body. “I don’t think it’s ever going to go away for me. I’m addicted. You’re stuck with me.”
I smile and grab a hold of his shirt. “I think I’m starting to like the sound of that.”
“You do, huh?” He kisses my lips. “Me too.”
I nod and start to open my mouth to tell him exactly how much I’m starting to like the idea of being with him when headlights shine through the windows. “Who is here this late?” I turn around and squint, trying to make out the make of the car that pulled up next to my house. When I recognize the car, my brow scrunches. “What in the world is Max doing here so late?”
“It’s after one in the morning. Does he make a habit of showing up in the middle of the night?” Trip asks as I lead him through the door.
I shake my head. “No. Never. Something must be wrong.”
My heart thuds in my chest as we get closer to the car and Max hasn’t attempted to get out. The engine still runs as I approach the driver’s side and peer into the window. Max is slumped over the steering wheel with his head resting on his arms.
I tap on the glass. “Max? Are you all right?” He doesn’t respond immediately, so I knock on the glass. “Max? Answer me. You’re starting to scare me.”
This time Max slowly pulls his head up and turns in my direction. I gasp and clutch my throat as Trip yanks the door open. “Jesus!”
Max’s face is swollen and covered in blood. There’s not a single inch of his face untouched. “Max? Oh my God. What happened? Are you okay? We should take you to the hospital.”
A million things rush through my mind while I wait on his answer. He obviously didn’t wreck his car, so something else horrible has happened to him.