Alone. Like usual. Like always.
This time it burned.
Chapter Nineteen
Vicki wasn’t returning his calls. Jesse was avoiding him. Altogether the last couple days had been one bucket load of crap after the other.
Although there was something to celebrate. Not only was the Six Pack clan rejoicing in the arrival of the newest Coleman, there was a new reason to tease Blake.
The baby was another girl.
Blake had been astonished. Jaxi just smiled and held the swaddled bundle to Joel when he dropped in for a visit.
He sat next to Jaxi, the soft flannel quilt wrapped around the baby barely leaving room to see her face. “So, Blake. You like pink or something?”
“Of course I love pink. I adore it. It’s totally my favourite colour. I’m going to paint the barns pink next time around.” Blake laughed along with the others, laid his hand on Jaxi’s shoulder and leaned in for a kiss. Then he stood and shook a finger in her face. “Whatever happened to following in my grampa and daddy’s footsteps? Having six boys, all that.”
Jaxi shrugged. “Hey, you’re the one who has to hand over the boy genes. I can’t do much if you don’t provide the building blocks.”
Joel stroked his finger over the baby girl’s cheek, amazed at how perfect and tiny she was, little lips pulsing. Nose wiggling. “I don’t know why you’d want a boy when she’s so beautiful.”
Blake growled. “Wait. I’m going to have three girls in their teens at the same time.”
“You won’t ever put your shotgun away. Just clean it every time the boys come to call. Worked on us with Stacey Walker.”
Yeah, that part of the past few days had been incredible. The rest of it? Sucked.
“You going to keep moping over there or get your ass in gear?” Travis popped past him, a bundle of energy. He cracked a stick against Joel’s legs. “More action, less daydreaming.”
“What the hell is your issue today? You’ve been a jerk all afternoon.”
“I’m giving back what you’re giving me.” Travis dragged his hand through his hair. “Okay, that wasn’t fair. Yes, I’m pissed off, only not at you, but you’re not helping matters.”
Joel shoved his gloves in his pocket. “Go ahead and give me hell. What did I do this time?”
“You’re moping,” Travis repeated. “You in shit with your girl?”
“Not sure. She’s not talking to me.”
“Oh, great. Yeah, that’s a super way to solve problems, I got one of those as well.”
Joel eyed his brother. “You and Ashley have a fight?”
Travis paused. “Actually, it’s Cassidy who’s being a jerk.”
That was unexpected. Joel thought back over the past weeks, and couldn’t remember seeing Travis’s buddy since the summer. “I thought he’d moved out of town. At least, I haven’t seen him around in forever.”
“Exactly.” Travis grabbed a sack from the wheelbarrow and placed it into position while they talked. “He gave me hell a while ago, and I thought he was joking, but the ass took off for real.”
“Sad. Stupid, too, like you said. Not talking about troubles doesn’t make things better.” Joel passed him another sack. “Vicki’s probably just busy.”
“Not a good reason to let her stew.” Travis glanced over. “How are things going with her? I mean other than she’s not talking to you.”
Joel had thought they were going great. “Hell if I know.”
“She ever tell you about…” Travis shook his head. “Never mind.”
“What?” Joel jerked to a stop. “You can’t make that kind of comment then cut off. Spill.”
“Just wondered if you ever talked about what happened in high school. With Eric Tell.”
The mysterious Eric question. “Nope. Although her sister mentioned something the other day in passing about Vicki stealing someone’s boyfriend, which I think is total bullshit.”
Travis brushed his hands clean as he led Joel from the barn. “I’m not going to tell you.”
“Asshole.” Joel shoved Travis’s shoulder. “Why’d you bring it up, then?”
“Because if she had told you, I was going to tell you something else, but if you notice, I don’t share other people’s secrets. So get your act together and ask her.”
Joel still felt like poking Travis, but it was true. Travis was the tightest mouth son-of-a-bitch around. “Since what you’re doing is not helpful, bringing up topics then not explaining what’s going on, any real suggestions for how to get Vicki to give me a call?”
“Set a date and tell her you’re taking her. Show up. You know where to find her, right?”
Easier now than before. “She’s just moved into Hope’s apartment.”
“Bring her out for the night with me and Ashley, then. We can relax and get your girl to forget whatever stupid thing you did.”
“Hey, who said I did something wrong?”
Travis grinned. “You’re a guy. Means you had to do something wrong. Accept it, and life gets easier.”
Vicki couldn’t hide any longer. She’d started this façade for one main reason, learning to deal with the stupid horses. It wasn’t Joel’s fault the other things she’d asked him to help with were making her crazy. She still had to deal with her fears. Calling things off would be insanity.
But she wasn’t going to let herself fall into thinking anything was real. No sir, that wound had been cut open and flayed the other day. This was about what she could get. What she needed to learn in the next while.
Warm fuzzy feelings didn’t belong.
Sexual pleasure was fine. Competence with horses, fine. Even moving in with Hope made sense. It wasn’t hurting anyone, and not only did it help Hope, it was a good deal for Vicki since her portion of the rent was lower than she’d been paying. Hope wasn’t likely to be around very much at all.
So when Joel called with the news they were going out with Travis and Ashley, Vicki didn’t argue.
“No horses, right?”
Joel helped her into the truck, squeezing her fingers. “You’ve been avoiding me to get out of the lessons, haven’t you?”
Vicki jumped at the excuse. “You’re right, I’ve been afraid to go back. I have to keep trying, though.”
“I have some good ideas for over the next couple of months that I think will help.”
Not real. Not real. Vicki focused as hard as possible on the prospect of becoming comfortable with the beasts and ignored the caring implied in his tone of voice.
Joel grimaced. “I got asked a couple times if we’d broken up, so I guess the gossip chain is still hot on our radar. Which, you know, it’s not a bad thing to have them wondering.”
Vicki stared, kind of shocked. “Why would it be good for people to think we’d broken up?”
He grinned. “Because that means they thought we were really together in the first place, get it? And now when they see us doing things over the next while, another set of gossips will hopefully get bored and just move on.”
“What are we doing tonight?” He had her tucked beside him, warmth bleeding over her so addictively.
“Going exploring, then having a campfire. Just hanging out.”
They met Travis and Ashley in the Coleman yard. Vicki smiled at Ashley. The other woman had on faded jeans and bright red cowboy boots, her thick winter coat a total contrast to the tight things she’d worn on the dance floor. “Nice jacket.”
Ashley ran her hands over the puffed-out pockets. “Down. It’s so comfy. Warm and yet soft. Feel.”
The other woman grabbed Vicki’s hand and duplicated her move of a moment ago. Vicki wasn’t sure what caught her attention more, the velvety texture of the fabric, or the fact Ashley had basically pressed Vicki’s hands to her boobs.