Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick.
I think he wanted to see if he could not burn his nightshirt. In TV there’s pajamas instead, or nighties on girls. My sleep T-shirt is my biggest, it has a hole on the shoulder that I like to put my finger in it and tickle myself when I’m switching off. There’s Jackie Wackie pudding and pie, but when I figured out to read I saw it’s actually Georgie Porgie. Ma changed it to fit me, that’s not lying, it’s just pretending. Same with
Jack, Jack, the piper’s son,
Stole a pig and away he run.
It actually says Tom in the book but Jack sounds better. Stealing is when a boy takes what belongs to some boy else, because in books and TV all persons have things that belong just to them, it’s complicated.
It’s 05:39 so we can have dinner, it’s quick noodles. While they’re in the hot water, Ma finds hard words to test me from the milk carton like nutritional that means food, and pasteurized that means laser guns zapped away the germs. I want more cake but Ma says beets chopped all juicy first. Then I have cake that’s pretty crispy now and Ma does too, a little bit.
I get up on Rocker to find Games Box at the end of Shelf, tonight I pick Checkers and I’m going to be red. The pieces are like little chocolates, but I’ve licked them lots of times and they don’t taste like anything. They stick to the board by magnetic magic. Ma likes Chess best but it aches my head.
At TV time she chooses the wildlife planet, there’s turtles burying their eggs in sand. When Alice gets long with eating the mushroom, the pigeon’s mad because she thinks Alice is a nasty serpent trying to eat her pigeon eggs. Here come the turtle babies out of their shells, but the turtle mothers are gone already, that’s weird. I wonder if they meet sometime in the sea, the mothers and the babies, if they know each other or maybe they just swim on by.
The wildlife ends too quick so I switch over to two men only wearing shorts and sneakers and dripping hot. “Uh-oh, hitting’s not allowed,” I tell them. “Baby Jesus is going to be mad.”
The one in yellow shorts bashes the hairy one on the eye.
Ma groans as if she’s hurting. “Do we have to watch this?”
I tell her, “In a minute the police are going to come weee-ahhh weee-ahhh weee-ahhh and lock those bad guys up in jail.”
“Actually, boxing . . . it’s nasty but it’s a game, it’s kind of allowed if they have those special gloves on. Now time’s up.”
“One game of Parrot, that’s good for vocabulary.”
“OK.” She goes over and switches to the red couch planet where the puffy-hair woman that’s the boss asks the other persons questions and hundreds of other persons clap.
I listen extra hard, she’s talking to a man with one leg, I think he lost the other in a war.
“Parrot,” shouts Ma and she mutes them with the button.
“Most poignant aspect, I think for all our viewers that’s what’s most deeply moving about what you endured—” I run out of words.
“Good pronunciation,” says Ma. “Poignant means sad.”
“Again.”
“The same show?”
“No, a different.”
She finds a news one that’s even harder. “Parrot.” She mutes it again.
“Ah, with the whole labeling debate coming hard on the heels of health-care reform, and bearing in mind of course the midterms—”
“Any more?” Ma waits. “Good, again. But it was labor law, not labeling.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Labeling is stickers on tomatoes, say, and labor law —”
I do a huge yawn.
“Never mind.” Ma grins and switches the TV off.
I hate when the pictures disappear and the screen’s just gray again. I always want to cry but just for a second.
I get on Ma’s lap in Rocker with our legs all jumbled up. She’s the wizard transformed into a giant squid and I’m Prince JackerJack and I escape in the end. We do tickles and Bouncy Bouncy and jaggedy shadows on Bed Wall.
Then I ask for JackerJackRabbit, he’s always doing cunning tricks on that Brer Fox. He lies down in the road pretending to be dead and Brer Fox sniffs him and says, “I better not take him home, he’s too stinky . . .” Ma sniffs me all over and makes hideous faces and I try not to laugh so Brer Fox won’t know I’m actually alive but I always do.
For a song I want a funny, she starts, “ ‘The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out—’ ”
“ ‘They eat your guts like sauerkraut—,’ ” I sing.
“ ‘They eat your eyes, they eat your nose—’ ”
“ ‘They eat the dirt between your toes—’ ”
I have lots on Bed but my mouth is sleepy. Ma carries me into Wardrobe, she tucks Blanket around my neck, I pull her looser again. My fingers go choo-choo along her red line.
Beep beep, that’s Door. Ma jumps up and makes a sound, I think she hit her head. She shuts Wardrobe tight.
The air that comes in is freezing, I think it’s a bit of Outer Space, it smells yum. Door makes his thump that means Old Nick’s in now. I’m not sleepy anymore. I get up on my knees and look through the slats, but all I can see is Dresser and Bath and a curve of Table.
“Looks tasty.” Old Nick’s voice is extra deep.
“Oh, it’s just the last of the birthday cake,” says Ma.
“Should have reminded me, I could have brought him something. What’s he now, four?”
I wait for Ma to say, but she doesn’t. “Five.” I whisper it.
But she must hear me, because she comes close to Wardrobe and says “Jack” in a mad voice.
Old Nick laughs, I didn’t know he could. “It speaks.”
Why does he say it not he?
“Want to come out of there and try on your new jeans?”
It’s not Ma he’s saying that to, it’s me. My chest starts to go dung dung dung.
“He’s nearly asleep,” says Ma.
No I’m not. I wish I didn’t whisper five so he heard me, I wish I didn’t anything.
Something else I can’t quite hear—
“OK, OK,” Old Nick is saying. “Can I’ve a slice?”
“It’s getting stale. If you really want—”
“No, forget it, you’re the boss.”
Ma doesn’t say anything.
“I’m just the grocery boy, take out your trash, trek around the kidswear aisles, up the ladder to deice your skylight, at your service ma’am . . .” I think he’s doing sarcasm, when he says the really opposite with a voice that’s all twisty.
“Thanks for that.” Ma doesn’t sound like her. “It makes it much brighter.”
“There, that didn’t hurt, did it?”
“Sorry. Thanks a lot.”
“Like pulling teeth sometimes,” says Old Nick.
“And thanks for the groceries, and the jeans.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Here, I’ll get you a plate, maybe the middle’s not too bad.”
There’s some clinks, I think she’s giving him cake. My cake.
After a minute he talks blurry. “Yup, pretty stale.”
His mouth is full of my cake.
Lamp goes offsnap,that makes me jump. I don’t mind dark but I don’t like when it surprises me. I lie down under Blanket and I wait.
When Old Nick creaks Bed, I listen and count fives on my fingers, tonight it’s 217 creaks. I always have to count till he makes that gaspy sound and stops. I don’t know what would happen if I didn’t count, because I always do.