“Cover.”
He hardly waited for me to finish before he dashed out. I got up to put the coffee cup back on the tray. When I turned around Grant was standing there, still panting. He closed the door and started over to me, his eyes dancing in an almost inhuman way. I backed away from him, but he grabbed me. “Carrie!.. You’ve done it! You’ve set me free!”
He began kissing me then, but I was still so surprised I didn’t give any response, and then he threw himself on the sofa and began pounding on the cushions with his fists. “Don’t you suppose I knew what she was — what she did to us, and all the rest of it? Don’t you think I hated myself, that I let her use me, make a fool out of me, torture me! Of course she broke up our marriage, and I knew she was doing it, and knew how she was doing it and why — but her will was stronger than mine! I couldn’t go up against her — nobody can. You’ve no idea what she’s like. And I was doing all sorts of things to break loose — starting unions, trying to break the System—”
“Marrying me.”
“Yes! — and I did something that time. You went up against her and you made her knuckle. I could have jumped up and yelled, like some kid at a football game. It — broke something. I could feel it snap. I was free! Think of that — she’s gone and gambled my money in some stupid stock deal — and I don’t care! I don’t care!”
He came over and looked at me. Then he touched me, the reverent way you touch something to make sure it’s there. “I know now what you meant,” he said, still in a kind of trance, — “what you meant that night. That night when I asked you to marry me, and you said I didn’t say anything about love. I didn’t know what love meant. No, I never loved you. Not then. Not until now — when I saw you fasten your will on her and make her bend to it. Oh, yes — now it’s different. Now everything’s different.”
He disappeared into the bedroom for a minute or two, then he came out and laughed. For the first time since we had been married, almost, he was the old Grant, the one I remembered from the first walk we took together, when we had hooked little fingers together and the cop had told us not to mind him. “Sorry, Carrie. I’ve... I’ve been through hell, and I’m a little off my nut.”
I desperately wanted to run into his arms and make up, but I didn’t. I got up and wheeled the breakfast tray out into the hall, and when I came back I said: “Well, it’s all very well for you to turn around and say you’re sorry, or whatever it is that you mean — but I’m afraid I can’t forget quite that easily.”
He nodded, very seriously. “I know. I’ve got some ground to win back. Don’t worry, I’ll do it. I told Bernie out in the hall just now he could cross me off his damned payroll and from now on I start.”
“Start what, may I ask?”
“My Indians.”
“How? I think you said such researches cost money.”
“I’ll find it, don’t you fear. And there’s other things I’ll do, too. For instance, that guy Holden. I’ll get him, I’ll make him like me before I get done. There’s a guy. But the first thing — I’m starting my life work. It’s the kind of life work that doesn’t show a profit, but never mind that. It’s worth doing. Well — so it takes money. Well — then I’ll get it. All right, I’m off. I didn’t expect you to take me in your arms. But you’ll be hearing from me — soon.”
I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay, so I could quarrel with him until I was ready to make up. So when he picked up his hat, I jumped up. “Well — if you’re looking for money, I think I can give you a name.”
I went to the mantel where the envelope with the money in it was lying, having been entirely forgotten during the rather hasty exit taken by his mother. It had my named typed on it, and I handed it to him. “...What’s this?”
“A name. I think she’ll be good for anything you need.”
He opened it, and when he saw what was inside he caught his breath. “Oh — the tip.”
“Yes, but it’s really yours. She’s cheated you out of it.”
I lay down on the sofa and he came and put the envelope on the table in front of me. “I didn’t quite get you at first. No, it’s yours. I can’t take money off you, Carrie.”
“Do you mean it about the Indians, or not?”
“Of course. But—”
“Then you take things any way you can get them.” Then I added: “That’s what I always do,” and raised my foot in a very provocative way and began to wave it around in the air. So the next second I was in his arms, and there had never been any quarrel, or any Lula, or any mother, only him and me. So I spent the weekend in sin, and it was Sunday afternoon before I remembered I was supposed to spend it at Mrs. Jerome’s, and we laughed and laughed because now I was a social celebrity, but had forgotten to show up.
I return now to our sloop, which isn’t anchored off the Bay Islands any more, but off Puerto Cortez, where Our equipment is due tonight on a freighter, and tomorrow we start into the interior, for excavations and I don’t know what-all. We spent two weeks in sin, as a matter of fact, at Atlantic City and a lot of places, for it took all sorts of red tape before Grant could get a license in New York. He had to prove the divorce was not granted against him on the ground of infidelity, or something. He kept his promise about Mr. Holden, and we all became good friends, and I don’t think Mr. Holden felt hurt any more. We spent some time getting ready for the expedition, and it took a lot of my money, but I don’t care. Tomorrow, Grant says, we start a perfectly hellish life, with mosquitoes, snakes, heat and everything else to bother us, and I guess it will be hard. But tonight there will be the Caribbean moon, and as it dances across the water, I shall think of the Modern Cinderella, and pretend that the light on the waves is really the silver slipper falling into her lap.