“Look, love, I know you are just looking out for her, but she is going to have to make her own decisions. You can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do,” Norma advised, taking another long pull from her cigarette. “You may not be happy about it, but this is not your mess to sort out.”
Billy was quiet for a long time. Then, and he didn’t know what came over him, but maybe it was because Norma was like his mum, so easy to talk to, or maybe it was the years of bottling up all his torment, he found himself telling her the whole story.
It had all started with Den Shaw, Jay’s dad. Den was one of life’s freeloaders, a nasty scumbag. He would literally take from the poor in order to give – to himself. He called himself a “financer”, but he was actually just a thieving bastard who specialised in lending to those that couldn’t get credit from anyone else, desperate people on the dole mainly. He would offer them a loan at a good rate: too good to be true. Because it was such a good rate he would persuade them to borrow an extra bit more. Then a few months down the line, he paid them a little visit, letting them know about the new interest rates due to “inflation”.
He wouldn’t elaborate any more than that, but by his snide tone and the look of the two apes he brought with him as heavies, people knew they had no choice but to pay whatever he asked.
Billy’s mum had had dealings with Den. As a child, Billy used to see the way Den would walk into their house and intimidate her. Knowing she had no husband to back her up, he had taken advantage of the fact that she was on her own, thinking she was an easy target: things were tight back then and there were days when there was little if any food in the cupboards.
When Billy was twelve, he had been lying in bed one night when he heard a knock at the door. He had heard voices, then people arguing heatedly. He had heard his mum pleading, begging for a bit more time, asking Den for a few more days.
After a few minutes, it had gone quiet, and Billy had got out of bed, curious now at what had been said. He tiptoed down stairs. He could hear his mum crying quietly in the kitchen and wondered when Den had gone, as he hadn’t heard the front door when he left. He wanted to make sure that his mum was okay. As he went towards the kitchen door he heard a funny noise, and his intuition told him something was wrong.
Billy had peered through the crack in the door to see Den pinning his mum’s hands down on the table. Den’s jeans were around his ankles and he was laughing quietly whilst thrusting on top of her. Den pulled Billy’s mum top up, exposing her breasts, and bit them, sinking his teeth in hard. She was struggling for him to get off her but she was helpless. She was crying quietly in pain, begging him to stop, pleading with him that her kids were upstairs. He ignored her cries as he bent down over her and put his mouth over hers, forcing his tongue inside, thrusting harder and harder. Then it all stopped, and shuddering, he lay still on top of her.
Billy, who had never seen his poor mum look so scared, stood paralysed with fear at what he had just witnessed.
“Now then, Helen, if you don’t have the cash for me next week,” Den sneered, as he pulled his jeans up, “this little arrangement would suit me just fine. Okay?” he said.
Then he looked over to where Billy was still standing and winked at him. Billy felt as if he was going to be sick, he put his hand over his mouth and tiptoed as quickly as he could upstairs. Stupidly, he thought that perhaps if his mum didn’t know what he had just seen, and then somehow it wouldn’t have been real.
Billy had lain in his bed and a few minutes later the front door had closed so he guessed Den had left. He heard his mum crying herself to sleep: that night, and for the next few nights. He had never spoken about what had happened to his mum, but it played in his head for years like a movie, tormenting him. No matter what they had had to go without in his childhood, from that day on his mother always had the money for Den.
As he grew up, he got angrier and angrier about what had happened. If only I had burst through the door and stopped him, got a knife out the kitchen draw and threatened him, or better still stuck it in him, he had thought, but Billy knew he was kidding himself, a boy back then would have been no match for Den.
Norma placed her hand on top of Billy’s as he spoke; she had never heard him say so much, it was like a floodgate had opened. Norma’s heart went out to him. All his angry thoughts seemed to pour out of him. How he had been so scared and shocked that he hadn’t helped her; how his mum had looked so frightened. When he stopped talking, tears streamed down his cheeks. He wiped them away and gulped down the last of his drink.
“Den is Jay’s father,” he finished, “this baby is going to have that rapist’s blood in its veins, and I’ll put money on it that Jay is no better than his old man was.”
Norma knew there was nothing that she could say that would help to take away the hurt that Billy was feeling. She had listened, and she had a feeling that that was all Billy had wanted her to do. He was going to deal with this regardless; there was no point in trying to make him see reason.
There was someone waiting to be served. Norma knew what a private man Billy was, he would want time on his own now to gather his thoughts after being so honest with her.
Norma got up and bent over towards Billy and kissed him on the cheek. “You know where I am Billy, if you ever need an ear. I am always here for you, darling.”
Stubbing her cigarette out, she walked off to serve her customer.
Billy was embarrassed that he had been so open with Norma, but at the same time it felt as if a bit of the weight had been lifted from his shoulders; he had finally said what had happened out loud. Norma wouldn’t tell a soul, he knew that. He hadn’t told her everything though; it wouldn’t have been fair to burden her.
Billy may have just been a boy back then, but the bad news for Den was, little boys grew into men. Den had been found in a skip just over two years ago, someone had cut his dick off. He’d been slowly tortured too; his body had been a real mess by all accounts.
Billy had been questioned about the murder, but as far as the police could tell he had no motive and a strong alibi, thanks to some of Billy’s very loyal mates. Den had lots of enemies and the case was left unsolved. Another piece of shit disposed of, not even worth the police manpower.
One of Den’s sons, Jay, had taken over Den’s little empire shortly after his death. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, it seemed to Billy, who had put the word out that from then on, any shit that went down with Jay, he wanted to know about. Billy had collected a lot of information over the last two years, and he wouldn’t be standing by to let that piece of scum anywhere near his sister.
How he hadn’t heard about his sister having a relationship with Jay was beyond him. He was seriously fucked off. Picking up his jacket as he stood up, he decided he was going to find Jay. Kate had no idea what she had got involved with, so it was up to Billy to sort it out for her. He knew he would have to play this one carefully or that little fucker would ruin Kate’s life for good.
7
Kate couldn’t believe it when she saw her phone flash up with Jay’s name, every time it had rung she had jumped on it and each time it hadn’t been him. She had been checking it all day thinking maybe it had rung and she hadn’t heard it, or maybe it was broken. She had been driving herself nuts, and now finally he was ringing her.