I looked at him blankly. He snorted in disgust.
"Fitz, nothing has changed. You're still a royal bastard, and Prince Regal still regards you as an obstacle. He's tried to be rid of you, not once, but twice. Do you think he's going to welcome you back to Buckkeep? No. Even better for him if we never make it back at all. So let's not make easy targets of ourselves. We go overland. If he or his hirelings want us, they'll have to hunt us through the woods. And he's never been much of a hunter."
"Wouldn't Verity protect us?" I asked weakly.
"You're a King's Man, and Verity is king-in-waiting," Burrich had pointed out shortly. "You protect your king, Fitz. Not the reverse. Not that he doesn't think well of you, and would do all he could to protect you. But he has weightier matters to attend. Red-Ships. A new bride. And a younger brother who thinks the crown would sit better on his own head.
No. Don't expect the King-in-Waiting to watch over you. Do that for yourself."
All I could think of was the extra days he was putting between me and my search for Molly. But I did not give that reason. I had not told him of my dream. Instead, I said, "Regal would have to be crazy to try to kill us again. Everyone would know he was the murderer."
"Not crazy, Fitz. Just ruthless. Regal is that. Let's not ever suppose that Regal abides by the rules we observe, or even thinks as we do. If Regal sees an opportunity to kill us, he'll take it. He won't care who suspects so long as no one can prove it. Verity is our king-in-waiting. Not our king. Not yet. While King Shrewd is alive and on the throne, Regal will find ways around his father. He will get away with many things. Even murder. "
Burrich had reined his horse aside from the well-traveled road, plunged off through drifts and up the unmarked snowy hillside beyond, to strike a straight course for Buckkeep. Hands had looked at me as if he felt ill. But we had followed. And every night when we had slept, bundled all together in a single tent for warmth instead of in beds in a cozy inn, I had thought of Regal. Every floundering step up each hillside, leading our horses more often than not, and every cautious descent, I had thought of the youngest Prince. I tallied every extra hour between Molly and me. The only times I felt strength surge through me were during my daydreams of battering Regal into ruin. I could not promise myself revenge. Revenge was the property of the crown. But if I could not have revenge, Regal would not have satisfaction. I would return to Buckkeep, and I would stand tall before him, and when his black eye fell upon me, I would not flinch. Nor, I vowed, would Regal ever see me tremble, or catch at a wall for support, or pass a hand before my blurry eyes. He would never know how close he had come to winning it all.
So at last we rode to Buckkeep, not up the winding seacoast road, but from the forested hills behind her. The snow. dwindled, then ceased. The night winds blew the clouds aside, and a fine moon made Buckkeep's stone walls shine black as jet against the sea. Light shone yellow in her turrets and beside the side gate. "We're home," Burrich said quietly. We rode down one last hill, struck the road at last, and rode around to the great gate of Buckkeep.
A young soldier stood night guard. He lowered his pike to block our way and demanded our names.
Burrich pushed his hood back from his face, but the lad didn't move. "I'm Burrich, the stablemaster!" Burrich informed him incredulously. "The stablemaster here for longer than you've been alive, most likely. I feel I should be asking you what your business is here at my gate!"
Before the flustered lad could reply, there was a tumble and rush of soldiers from the guardhouse. "It is Burrich!" the watch sergeant exclaimed. Burrich was instantly the center of a cluster of men, all shouting greetings and talking at once while Hands and I sat our weary horses at the edge of the hubbub. The sergeant, one Blade, finally shouted them to silence, mostly so he could speak his own comments easily. "We hadn't looked for you until spring, man," the burly old soldier declared. "And even then, we was told you might not be the man that left here. But you look good, you do. A bit cold, and outlandishly dressed, and another scar or two, but yourself for all that. Word was that you was hurt bad, and the Bastard like to die. Plague or poison, the rumors was."
Burrich laughed and held out his arms that all might admire his Mountain garb. For a moment I saw Burrich as they must have seen him, his purple-and-yellow quilted trousers and smock and buskins. I no longer wondered at how we had been challenged at the gate. But I did wonder at the rumors.
"Who said the Bastard would die?" I demanded curiously.
"Who's asking?" Blade demanded in return. He glanced over my garments, looked me in the eye, and knew me not. But as I sat up straighter on my horse, he gave a start. To this day, I believe he knew Sooty and that was how he recognized me. He did not cover his shock.
"Fitz? There's hardly half of you left! You look like you've had the Blood Plague." It was my first inkling of just how bad I looked to those who knew me.
"Who said I had been poisoned, or afflicted with plague?" I repeated the question quietly.
Blade flinched and glanced back over his shoulder. "Oh, no one. Well, no one in particular. You know how it is. When you didn't come back with the others, well, some supposed this and some that, and pretty soon it was almost like we knew it. Rumors, guardroom talk. Soldiers gossip. We wondered why you didn't come back, that was all. No one believed anything that was said. We spread too many rumors ourselves to give gossip any credence. We just wondered why you and Burrich and Hands hadn't come back."
He finally realized he was repeating himself and fell silent before my stare. I let the silence stretch long enough to make it plain that I didn't intend to answer this question. Then I shrugged it away. "No harm done, Blade. But you can tell them all the Bastard isn't done for yet. Plagues or poisons, you should have known Burrich would physick me through it. I'm alive and well; I just look like a corpse."
"Oh, Fitz, lad, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that—"
"I said, no harm done, Blade. Let it go."
"Good enough, sir," he replied.
I nodded, and looked at Burrich to find him regarding me strangely. When I turned to exchange a puzzled glance with Hands, I met the same startlement on his face. I could not guess the reason.
"Well, good night to you, Sergeant. Don't chide your man with the pike. He did well to stop strangers at Buckkeep's gate."
"Yes, sir. Good night, sir." Blade gave me a rusty salute and the great wooden gates swung wide before us as we entered the keep. Sooty lifted her head and some of the weariness fell from her. Behind me, Hands's horse whinnied softly and Burrich's snorted. Never before had the road from the keep wall to the stables seemed so long. As Hands dismounted, Burrich caught me by the sleeve and held me back. Hands greeted the drowsy stable boy who appeared to light our way.
"We've been some time in the Mountain Kingdom, Fitz," Burrich cautioned me in a low voice. "Up there, no one cares what side of the sheets you were born on. But we're home now. Here, Chivalry's son is not a Prince, but a bastard."
"I know that." I was stung by his directness. "I've known it all my life. Lived it all my life."
"You have," he conceded. A strange look stole over his face, a smile half-incredulous and half-proud. "So why are you demanding reports of the sergeant, and giving out commendations as briskly as if you were Chivalry himself? I scarce believed it, how you spoke, and how those men came to heel. You didn't even take notice of how they responded to you, you didn't even realize you'd stepped up and taken command away from me."