Taking a few deep breaths, I reach beside me for the bottle I keep close by and toss the cap across the room. It’s the only way I’ll be able to close my eyes without feeling as if I’m dying from the memories; the fucking images in my head that haunt me until I can’t breathe, almost making it easy for me lay down and just let it fucking take me.
I’m doing my best to fight it, but someday I need to realize that my best isn’t good enough. That shit will never go away.
Throwing my feet over the edge of the bed, I stand up and strip out of my boxer briefs, before grabbing the bottle of whiskey and heading for the shower.
With the door open, I keep the light off and turn on the shower, hopping in. With one hand pressed against the shower wall, I let the frigid water pour over my heated flesh, while holding the bottle to my lips and taking a desperate swig.
My body is freezing, but my insides are fucking burning, feeling raw from the warm whiskey. It’s a fucked up combination, but at least I’m feeling something.
Anything at all . . .
I’M JUST WALKING OUT OF the salon when I get a text from Colton. Today’s only a half-day for me, so it’s nearly three o’clock. It’s not very often that I have the pleasure of getting off early.
Seeing his name flash across the screen causes my body to flood with anxiety and lose that small bit of freedom that getting off early brought me.
Exhaling, I open up his text and read it, hoping that it’s not about his family dinner tonight.
Colton: Tonight is dinner at my parents’ as usual. You’ll be there, right?
Avalon: We’re on a break, Colton. Remember?
Colton: Yeah . . . but my parents don’t know that and I don’t want a reason to alarm them if we’re only on a break. Please come.
Avalon: Idk . . .
Colton: Please. It’s not that big of a deal. It’s only dinner and you don’t even have to sit next to me. They’re expecting you and will be disappointed. I’m only asking this and then I’ll give you your space.
Feeling guilty, I know that I’m going to end up agreeing to go. It’s not that I feel bad for Colton, but his parents have been nothing but good to me. They’re going to be expecting me, and it would be rude to stand them up.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Avalon: I’ll be there . . . for them, Colton. Nothing is changing between us so please don’t push it and make me uncomfortable.
Colton: You have my word, Marie.
Colton: Shit!
Colton: I meant Avalon.
Avalon: See you around 5:30.
Shaking my head, I get ready to shove my phone into my purse when it vibrates again.
“Dammit, Colton.”
I unlock the screen, expecting it to be Colton, but it’s from a number that I don’t have saved in my phone.
Unknown: Avalon . . . come to my house tonight. I’ll be set up and ready by 6.
Avalon: Umm . . . who is this and why am I going to your house tonight?
My heart jumps to my throat when the next message comes through.
Unknown: Royal . . . that tattoo.
Avalon: Did you ask for my number? And I can’t.
Royaclass="underline" Yes . . . And why not?
Avalon: Well . . . your damn brother guilt tripped me into going to your parents’ house for dinner tonight.
Royaclass="underline" Even your text messages are tense. Didn’t my brother ever fucking relieve your tension? And just fucking tell him no. You don’t owe him.
Avalon: Hah! I’m not even going to answer that. And I know I don’t owe him. It’s out of respect for June and Ken.
Royaclass="underline" I knew that stiff asshole wouldn’t know shit about pleasuring a woman. I’ll see you later.
Avalon: I can’t come . . .
A wait a few minutes for a response from Royal, before putting my phone away and heading home to get ready for this awkward dinner that I really don’t want to go to.
All I really wanted to do when walking out that door was to go home, eat junk food, and watch reality TV.
Now . . . all I really want to do is take Royal up on his offer for that tattoo. He just has this weird way of making me want to drop everything and have this crazy little adventure that being around him always seems to bring.
Instead, I’ll be spending the night feeling awkward at a family dinner that I really don’t want to be at, and pretending that everything is normal when it’s anything but.
COLTON IS SITTING ON THE front porch when I arrive at his parents’ house. He immediately stands up and puts his phone away.
“Hey, baby. Thanks for coming.”
I nod and turn my head to the side when he leans in to give me a kiss. “Hey . . . Sorry I’m a bit late.”
He clears his throat and loosens his stiff collar. He never wears a damn shirt without a collar and it drives me nuts. “No worries. Mother is just setting the table and I was finishing up some business.” He pauses for a second and stares at me, taking in my yellow dress. “How have you been? We haven’t talked in days. It’s weird.”
I smile small and answer him honestly. “Good. I’ve been pretty happy.” And I have. I’m happier than I have been in a while now.
His jaw ticks in anger, before he turns away and opens the screen door. “Good to hear,” he says flatly. “Let’s get this over with.”
Walking into the kitchen, I’m greeted by Ken, who is already seated at the table. Just like his son, he’s dressed in a blue, collared, button-down shirt.
“How are you, Marie? It’s a pleasure seeing you, as always.” He stands up, flashing a stiff smile. “Please, take a seat.”
Waiting to see which side Colton’s going to sit on first, I take a seat opposite of him after he sits down. “Good to see you too, Ken.” I glance at Colton from across the table. “I’m doing well. Just keeping busy at the salon.”
Ken nods his head and looks at Colton, but doesn’t offer a response.
A few awkward minutes later, June walks in carrying two huge bowls of pasta and sauce. “Hey, kids. Hope you’re hungry.” She smiles at me and then over to Colton, looking confused to see us across the table from each other. “Alright, this is different. Let’s eat before it gets cold. There’s plenty, so dig in.”