"Did he know? Did you tell Numerius?"
She nodded. "The last time I saw him… the day before he died. We had a secret place to meet." She lowered her eyes. "We… afterward… I told him. I was afraid he'd be angry. But he wasn't. He was happy. I'd never seen him so happy. He said, 'Now Pompey will have to give up his plans for me and let us marry. I'll tell him tonight.' The next day Numerius was supposed to meet me again, to tell me what Pompey said, but he never came." She bit her lip. "That was the day everyone thought Caesar was coming, and Pompey decided to leave Rome, and my father decided to send Mother and me to the villa, and we spent the whole night madly packing our things and I didn't sleep at all…"
She took a breath, lifted her eyes, and stared hard at the face of Minerva. "The next morning we were in our wagon, lined up with all the other wagons to leave through the Capena Gate. A friend of Mother's came over. They talked about whether Caesar was really coming, and who was taking sides, and then- it was just another bit of gossip to her- the woman said, 'Did you hear? Numerius Pompeius was murdered yesterday! Strangled…' She said it so quickly, then moved on to something else so fast, I thought I must have imagined it. But I knew I hadn't. I knew it was true. I felt something sharp in my chest, like a jagged stone. I think I must have fainted. The next thing I knew we were out on the Appian Way. For an instant I thought I'd dreamed it, but I knew better. The stone was still in my chest. It hurt to breathe."
"Who else knows about the baby?"
"I kept it from my mother as long as I could. She knew something was wrong, but she thought I was only worried for Father, and upset by all that was going on. But once we started back to Rome, I couldn't keep it from her. She wasn't as angry as I thought she'd be."
"Then your father doesn't know?"
She lowered her face. "Mother says he must never know."
"But how can that be? Even if Pompey leaves Italy and takes your father with him, they may return before you come to term. And when you have the child, someone will talk; someone always does. You can hardly expect-" Then I fell silent, because I understood what she had told me.
"This morning, when I went to see her, I told Maecia everything- about Numerius and me, about the baby. We wept together. She says I mustn't get rid of it. She says it's all that's left of her little boy, her son. But it's not her choice to make. It's not my choice, either. Mother says I must get rid of it."
My mouth was dry. "It's not your mother but your father who has legal power over you and the baby inside you."
"If Father knew, he could put me to death! That would be legal and proper, wouldn't it?"
"Surely he'd never do that! What if he's gone for a year and comes back to find you and the child-"
"He might still get rid of the baby- expose it on a hill outside the city to let it starve or be eaten by jackals. Then he'd put me away somewhere, the way you hide a cracked vessel at the back of a cabinet." She swallowed hard. "No, Mother is right. If Father were here, he'd demand that I get rid of the baby while I can. They may yet be able to find a husband for me, don't you see? Mother says it wouldn't be right, anyway, to bring a child without a father into such a world…"
She began to weep.
I resisted the urge to comfort her. I stiffened my arms and clenched my fists. I glanced over my shoulder, and it seemed to me that Minerva regarded me with a mocking smile. "Aemilia, why have you come to me?"
"I don't know… except that Maecia said you were the last to see him… and that everything depends on you now."
"But Aemilia, there's nothing I can do to help you."
"You can at least find out who killed him- who killed… my baby." She saw the confusion on my face. "Don't you see? If Numerius hadn't been murdered, he would have found a way to marry me. I'm certain of it. I could have had our child! Then, even if Numerius was taken from me, killed in battle or lost at sea, I would have had the baby, and the baby would have had his name. But now… now there'll be no baby. Don't you see? Whoever murdered Numerius might as well have stuck a knife in my womb!"
Her grief erupted in a long, keening wail that carried all the way to the front of the house. I heard banging noises and a scuffle, and a few heartbeats later her three bodyguards rushed into the garden one by one, their swords drawn. Cicatrix followed after them, bellowing furiously, brandishing his own sword. The scar across his face was livid, like a fresh brand. He circled the bodyguards and ran to my side, where he assumed a defensive crouch, his arms extended and his knees bent to spring. The three armed men approached us with wild looks in their eyes.
Aemilia spun about, dazed, and realized what was happening. She stifled her sobs and held up her arms, calling her bodyguards to heel. They drew back and surrounded her. One of them exchanged whispers with her, then with his companions. The threat of bloodshed lingered in the air, like a raw, pungent smell.
Aemilia stepped toward me, her face lowered. Her bodyguards advanced with her, swords drawn, eying me warily.
"Forgive me," she whispered. "I never meant…"
I nodded.
"I'll go now. I don't know why I came. I only thought… I hoped you might… I don't know." She turned away. Her bodyguards withdrew with her, the hindmost walking backward and keeping his eyes on Cicatrix and me.
"Wait!" I said.
She stopped and looked over her shoulder. I stepped toward her, getting as close as I dared. It was too close for Cicatrix, who gripped my arm to hold me back.
"Aemilia, you said something about a secret meeting place."
Her face, already flushed, grew even redder. "Yes."
"Did this place belong to Numerius?"
"It belonged to his family. They own a lot of property in the Carinae district."
"And this place- where is it?"
She stepped toward me and motioned for her bodyguards to stand back. I gestured for Cicatrix to move away.
"It was a tenement building," said Aemilia, keeping her voice low. "An awful, smelly place. But there was a vacant apartment on the uppermost floor. From the window you could see a bit of the Capitoline Hill…" She gazed into space, her eyes glittering with tears.
"And only you and Numerius knew about this meeting place?"
"I don't know. I think he inherited the building from his father, but his uncle Maecius had a say in running it."
"But the room- it was Numerius's secret place?"
"Yes. He kept a few things there. A lamp, some clothing… some poems I gave him."
"Poems?"
"Greek love poems I copied out for him. We used to read them to one another…"
I nodded. "So this was a place where he might have kept… other secret things?"
"I don't know. Why do you ask?"
"Some documents may be there."
She shook her head. "I don't think so. There was no scroll cabinet. Not even a chest for keeping papers. He had to keep my poems beneath the bed."
"Even so, I need to see this place."
She bit her lip, then shook her head.
"Please, Aemilia. It may be very important. I may find the documents that were responsible for Numerius's death."
She looked at Minerva, then at me. Her gaze was steady. "The building is at the corner of the Street of the Basketmakers and a little alley that runs off it to the north. It's covered in a red wash, but the red is starting to wear off to show a yellow wash beneath. The room is on the fourth floor, in the southwest corner. The door has a lock, but the key is under a loose floorboard with a deep scratch across it, three paces up the hall."
I nodded. "I'll find it."
She touched my arm. "If you go there, you'll find the love poems. I'd be grateful if you could-"
"Of course. I'll find some way to return them to you."