"Sister Perpetua is very ill, but I could take you to her this evening."
"Thank you. And please ask everyone to bring me any information they may have about either the fires or the letters."
"I thought you were going to be undercover," Ruby said.
Mother frowned. "That's right. Won't an announcement give you away? Won't it alert whoever's behind this?"
"Yes," I said. "But it may also rattle them. People who are rattled are more likely to make mistakes."
Maggie looked at me. "So you think there are two sep-
arate crimes here? Arson and…" She paused, frowning. ' 'Is it a crime to write a poison-pen letter?''
I shook my head. ' 'None of these letters threaten actual violence. They're not criminal, at least according to the Texas Penal Code."
"Criminal or not," Mother said firmly, "the letters are violent. They disrupt the recipients' peace of mind and threaten the stability of the community. And the writer is placing her soul in jeopardy. We must find out who she is. I'll speak to the community tonight at supper, China, and tell them that you're here to help us." She paused. "There's something else I should mention. Mother Hi-laria's diary."
"Her diary?"
"Yes. A spiral-bound notebook, black, as I recall. Every evening, she was in the habit of jotting down the events of the day, the weather, her meetings with individuals, her plans. After Reverend Mother General appointed me, I went to Mother Hilaria's office to get it. I thought I should see whether there were any ongoing projects I should know about. The diary was gone. I've searched everywhere, but it hasn't turned up."
"Can you think who might have taken it?" I asked.
"No, nor why. Mother Hilaria was a very open person. She didn't have any secrets."
If she did, they'd stay that way. Mother Hilaria was dead.
Chapter Six
If gun-flints are wiped with rue and vervain, the shot must surely reach the intended victim, regardless of the shooter's aim.
C. M. Skinner Myths and Legends of Flowers, Trees, Fruits, and Plants
I asked for a roster of room assignments and a map of the monastery's grounds. Mother also gave us an information sheet and keys to our cottages. Maggie was staying in Ezra. Ruby, who was here just for the night, was in Ezekiel. I'd been assigned to Jeremiah.
As we were leaving, I thought of one more thing. "I promised a certain young Cowboys' fan that I'd put in a prayer request for tomorrow's game," I said. "Maybe it sounds a little strange, but would you mind-"
"Not at all," Mother Winifred said with a smile. "In fact, I believe that Sister Gabriella has already been praying for them. But God moves in mysterious ways, you know," she added. "Tell your young friend that we can triumph even in defeat."
I didn't think Brian would buy that idea, but I only smiled and nodded.
Ezra, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel were a mile from the main complex by road, although the hand-drawn map revealed a shorter trail through the meadow. We drove, then parked the car and grabbed our bags, agreeing to meet again just before six. "You'll hear the bell outside Sophia," Maggie
told us. "It's rung for every meal." Then we split up to go to our separate cottages, which were about fifty yards apart along the river.
Jeremiah was a wood-shingled cottage with a screened porch. Its two small rooms-a bedroom-sitting room and a bathroom-dressing room-were clean and simply furnished, with a bed, an upholstered chair, and a wooden desk and chair. There were brown plaid drapes at the windows and a crucifix on the wall. In the bathroom was a Texas-sized cast-iron bathtub with old-fashioned claw feet, almost big enough to swim in. On the bathroom shelf, I saw a hot plate, a coffeepot, and a cache of tea and coffee supplies. The cottage was surrounded on three sides by a dense growth of cedar. The porch looked out over the river only ten yards away, at the foot of a gravel path. I imagined myself sitting there in the evening, listening to the water and watching the sun set behind the high cliff.
I spent a luxurious half hour hanging up my clothes, organizing the books and other belongings I'd brought, and making up my narrow bed with the sheets I found folded on the pillow. Then I sank into the chair and gazed around the room, letting its clean spareness sink into me, its healing silence wash over me. It had been so long since I'd been alone, truly alone-no other people, no telephone, no television, no radio. I could picture myself sitting here in quiet meditation for days on end, writing in my journal, reading a little, sleeping a lot.
But I sat for only a few minutes. The conversation with Mother Winifred weighed heavily on my mind. The accusing letters seemed to be the most pressing problem from her point of view. But while poison-pen letters are spiteful and traumatic, arson can be fatal. The fires had to be stopped before somebody burned to death.
I got up and found the handwritten report I'd gotten from the sheriff's deputy, which turned out to be very sketchy and nearly illegible. Walters hadn't been called to the October fire, because Mother Winifred had decided it was
accidental. He'd been called after the other two fires, however.
I read the report and made a list of the people Walters had talked to, noting the names of the three people who had shown up at both scenes. Dwight was one, which wasn't surprising, since it was his job to be available for emergencies. Father Steven was another. Sister John Roberta, whose name I hadn't previously heard, was the third. I looked her up in the roster and decided she must be a St. Agatha nun, since she lived in Hannah.
I put the report aside and stood up and stretched. Three fires had been set in a community where forty nuns lived within arm's length of one another. Somebody was bound to know something. I was hoping that tonight's announcement would jar loose some essential piece of information. I wanted to get to the bottom of this thing and spend the rest of my time doing what I had come to do: nothing. I smiled wistfully. Two whole weeks with absolutely nothing to do. Except, of course, for going riding with Tom Rowan.
The thought made me restless. I pulled on my jacket and walked down the gravel path to the river's edge, where I stood for a few minutes, hands in pockets, breathing in the spicy fragrance of cedar, the crisp, clean smell of windswept meadow.
How well had I known Tom Rowan? At the time, of course, I'd thought we were intimate. We certainly talked enough over the restaurant meals we shared after work, and during the late-night hours when we lay in one another's arms. But now, with the clarity of hindsight, I had to admit that we hadn't been intimate at all-that we hadn't known the first thing about intimacy. Mostly, we'd talked about our careers, about work-who had won that day's battles, who had lost, how we had somehow managed to come out on top. And beneath the talk there was always a hard, brittle edge of competitiveness. Tom was poised to top my story about the day's achievements; I was ready to do him one better. We'd been lovers, yes, but our relationship probably
had more to do with sex and power than with love.
Now, thanks to McQuaid, I knew a little more about intimacy-enough to realize that what Tom and I had back then was the kind of shallow, casual relationship that career people often substitute for genuine caring. To give us credit, of course, neither of us had much choice in the matter. When you're on your way to the top, the climb occupies most of your waking hours and a big hunk of your dream time. It's practically impossible to have both a rising career and a deeply engaged relationship. It was for me, anyway.
I made a wry face. When I left my career and found McQuaid, I'd gotten what I wanted: a warm and nurturing connection that grounded me and held me close. The irony was, though, that being held close also made it hard to find space for myself, and being grounded made it tough to fly free. It was a dilemma a lot of women might welcome, but not me.