I wanted this. Badly. Almost badly enough to keep my mouth shut and enjoy the ride. But the conversation we’d had in the field after what happened in the car came rushing back. The pain. I hated the thought of him in agony, and to let him continue would be selfish. “Jax, I think we need to stop.”
“Stop?” He panted, trailing a line of kisses up my neck and lingering at the edge of my jaw. “No way. I’m not stopping this time. I’ve wanted you forever, Sammy. You want it, too.”
“I do,” I said through clenched teeth as he slid the right side of my bra aside, exposing bare skin to the chilly air. “But it’s not worth the fallout. You’ll be in horrible pain. Lose control.”
“I’ve already lost control,” he growled, taking me into his mouth and sucking hard. The pull, with the slightest pressure of his teeth, drew an involuntary moan from my lips. “You do that to me.”
I gasped as he ground himself against me, the sensation nearly making me scream. The friction was mind-blowing, sending wave after wave of heat pulsing throughout my body. But I couldn’t let this go on. If he wasn’t going to put the brakes on this for his own good, then I’d have to be the one who stepped up. With as much force as I could muster, I said, “Jax, stop.”
He went completely still. Pulling away, he slid from the couch and backed away several steps. The look on his face was pure guilt. “God, Sammy. Right now you smell amazing. I’ve wanted you for the longest time, you know that, but the lust you’re putting off is driving the thing inside me insane. I don’t want to stop—but I do. And Azirak…”
“Wants to devour me?” God, how I wanted to be devoured…
Jax grinned. “You’re so inviting all trussed up and ready to go.” He took another step back, then two forward. “God, Sammy…”
The way he was watching me, like a drowning man desperate for rescue, would be my undoing. I squeezed my eyes closed for a second and took a deep breath. When I opened them again, it was even worse.
He was standing over me again, face contorted and shoulders stuff. “It wants—” Jax brought both hands up to his head, tangling them into his hair as he dropped to the ground beside the couch. “Fuck!”
Suddenly the idea of being cuffed and helpless wasn’t as appealing. “Jax?”
“I can’t keep it—” His body convulsed twice, and when his head rose a moment later, both eyes were the color of coal.
“This body burns for you,” he said. It was Jax’s voice—only it wasn’t. A deep breath. Azirak. “I can taste its desire to touch you, and yours to touch it.”
It took every ounce of self-control to stay as still as possible. Here I was. Face-to-face with the thing that lived inside Jax again—only this time I knew who I was talking to. “And you?”
Jax—or Azirak—blinked, tilting his head to the right. Every movement was fluent. Controlled. So inhumanly graceful that it was eerie. “You speak to me?”
“Should I not?”
A grin. So familiar, yet so wrong. “Please do. I like it. The sound of your voice is—oddly pleasant to these ears.” His eyes traveled down the length of my body, then up again. “You are pleasant to look at, as well, Samantha Merrick.”
Creepy. “So, then it’s safe to say you don’t want to kill me?”
“Accidents happen, but no. I have no wish to harm you.”
“Good. That’s good.” I was afraid to say anything else in fear that I’d piss it off somehow.
He laughed. “Though I have no doubt you would be a rare delicacy, to harm you would be detrimental.”
I suppressed a shudder. “Detrimental?”
“My human cares deeply for you. To bathe in your blood would destroy him. We are one, even if he has yet to accept it. I try to make things as easy on him as nature will allow.”
“That seems like a contradiction,” I snapped before I could stop myself. “Making him hurt people is pretty much the opposite of easy.”
“That is a dangerous tone to take. Your brazenness is amusing.” He rolled his shoulders, eyes never leaving me. “I lead him to filth. Volatile life forces wrought with rage and greed. When I don’t feed, it becomes painful for my human—like you are to him. I understand his hesitance to indulge in you, but there are ways. If he is willing.”
Ways? For us to be together without Jax being in pain? “What ways?”
But he didn’t answer. Instead, he stood and crossed to the other side of the room, sliding down the wall. Tilting his head back, he closed his eyes. Dismissed. She’d been dismissed by a demon.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jax
When I came to, I was scrunched up on the floor, leaning against the wall across from the couch.
“Jax?” Sam twisted her head to the left an inch. She was still lying on the couch. “Is that you?”
It took a moment to find my voice. My throat was dry and burned like I’d been yelling for hours. “Are you all right?” The movie ended long ago and had circled back around to the start menu. I wanted to ask her how long I’d been asleep, but there was a knock at the front door. A beam of sunlight shone through the window. Morning. Fuck. It was morning already. I climbed to my feet and crossed the room, feeling guilty that Sam had gotten stuck on the couch, half-naked, bound. “Did Heckle call?”
She rolled to the side and struggled to sit up. “Phone didn’t ring.”
“Did you fall asleep?” I asked, helping her off the couch. There were angry red marks, indentations from the cuffs, on both her wrists, and she seemed to be moving slow. Like she was stiff. Her clothes were askew, and I averted my eyes until she turned, feeling a spark of lust festering beneath the surface.
Sam stood with her back to me. “I dozed off for a little while, but it was uneventful. Unlock these so I can see who’s at the door?”
I slipped the key from my pocket and unlocked the cuffs. They fell to the floor with a clatter. “Really? Didn’t you learn anything the other night?”
She rolled her eyes and pulled on the sweatshirt that was draped over the back of the couch as the door jingled, then opened. “I find it hard to believe the demons are now using keys to get inside.”
A second later Chase stood in the doorway with a tray of coffee and a brown paper bag from Musso’s bagel shop. “Hey. Careful,” Sam said, stepping over to peer into the bag. “An everything bagel with grape jelly. The breakfast of non-champions. A girl could get used to this.”
My brother winked and stepped inside. “Last time I saw you, you were having a rough night. I wanted to check in.” Chase’s gaze fell on me. He looked disappointed. “Apparently you’re fine.”
“Chase,” I replied, eyes narrow.
“Jax,” he responded coolly.
Sam tensed, like she was ready to jump between us if needed.
“Didn’t know you were here.” Chase squared his shoulders and stepped away from the door.
The demon shifted, anticipating violence. I pushed it down. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to check in on Rick. Plus, I got Sam’s voice mail. I knew she was here, figured I’d bring breakfast. What are you doing here? Is it such a good idea?”
“She knows everything,” I said. “Our family. The demon. All of it.”
Judging by the expression on Chase’s face, the confession threw him for a loop, but he recovered quickly and turned to Sam. “Even after finding out the truth, you’re still hanging around him? What the hell is wrong with you, Samantha?”
“Careful, Chase. You sound a little jealous.” I came around the couch.
Chase squared his shoulders. “Jealous of what? You?” He took a step forward. “You really don’t see how stupid that sounds?”