Jax batted his hand away. “Don’t fucking use me as an excuse for what you’ve done.”
“Why? You’re no better than me! How much blood have you spilled to quiet the thing inside your head?”
Jax didn’t answer. He was staring at the door. Several nurses passed in the hall, one stopping to peer through the window. She nodded, giving a sad smile, and kept going.
“The college was my favorite place to feed,” Chase continued, backing toward the door. He positioned himself in front of the glass so they couldn’t see inside the room. “We were waiting for her that night. Saw her leave the party, and she looked so good. Smelled so good… We attacked her. The plan was to draw you out. To make you come running home—but you didn’t. You were there that night and swooped in to save the day, but like always, you ran away with your dick in your hand.”
“I stayed away to keep her safe,” Jax growled.
Chase laughed. “I waited, sure you’d come home for her, but when you never showed, we had to change direction. I had one of my demons follow you, killing girls that looked like her wherever you went. That would bring you running for sure.” He winked. “Guess I gave you too much credit. It took you forever to figure it out. Then Rick took a turn for the worse and you ended up back here anyway. I knew you’d leave the moment you saw me. The one way to keep you here long enough to end your life would be to put her in danger again right out in the open where no one could miss it. While you were waltzing into McCarthy’s to kick my ass, one of my demons was cutting her brakes. I knew you’d save her, and there would be no way for you to ignore it.”
“So, the plan was to draw me back home and what, kill me? Why go through all the trouble? Why not just find me yourself and do the deed?”
“A compromise I made with Zenak. I wanted you to have the chance to see them again. Once more. I hated the thought of you dying out there, and Rick and Sam never knowing what happened. I did you a favor. I did her a favor.”
“A favor? You made her a fucking slave.” Jax countered, taking a menacing step forward.
“I wasn’t thrilled when I found out Zenak had linked to her, but there was nothing I could do about it. Damage was done.”
“You could have done something to stop it.”
“I told you, I embraced my demon a long time ago. I didn’t want to hurt her, but we’re a team. We coexist and that means sometimes sacrifices have to be made. I understand now that only one of us can survive. Zenak wants its power back, and for that to happen, you need to die. The others need to be free.”
“So this is the part where you tell me you’re going to kill me?”
“Almost,” Chase said. The expression on his face almost looked regretful. “But regardless of what you think and how my demon feels, I love you, and I loved Rick. It’s waited a long time. You’ll have a day to get your affairs in order. Then we’ll finish this.”
“And Sam?”
“Since I have no plans on dying, she’ll remain linked to me. Providing you follow through, I won’t feed from her again. She’ll remain alive.”
“Alive and free?” Jax pressed, and Chase frowned.
“As free as possible. You worry about keeping up your end of things and I’ll do my best to make sure she’s safe and comfortable.”
Jax squared his shoulders. “And what exactly is my end of things?”
I couldn’t believe we were standing here having this discussion. Not that I saw an alternative at the moment, but still, it was surreal. We were discussing my life like it was something to be bargained for.
“We bury Rick, then you surrender yourself to me at a place of my choosing. You die with honor and Sam is free to live out her natural life.”
“And let’s say I don’t?”
The thing inside Chase had swallowed his humanity. It’d turned him into a monster in the truest form and the worst part was, he’d let it happen. Unlike Jax who fought his nature every day, he’d rolled over and given in. “I’ll leave you with this—there are so many things worse than death my demon could do to her. Things our simple human brains can’t even imagine. I hate to have to say this out loud, but I need you to understand there’s no room for compromise here. Not anymore.”
Jax’s face paled as his brother pulled me from the room.
Jax’s lips moved in silence.
“I’ll fix this.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Jax
Time passed in a haze as we fast-tracked the arrangements for Rick’s funeral. Kelly was a huge help despite her dislike of me. No doubt she’d revert to her bitchy self the moment this was over, but for now, the reprieve was welcomed.
She let slip that Sam was out of town for a few days and would return for the funeral, but I knew the truth. Sam was with Chase. A hostage. Subject to God knew what. Each time it crossed my mind—which was almost every moment of the day—Azirak flashed images of destruction. Lapses in self-control had been the death of several pieces of Rick’s furniture, fostered multiple holes in the walls, and caused the loss of nearly every dish in the house.
No matter how violent the emotion was I fed it, Azirak stayed restless, sending random images that ranged from childhood flashbacks, to Sam’s face surrounded by swirls of color. Being with Sam essentially starved the demon and caused us both pain, yet we wanted her. Needed her. For the first time, the demon took on the role of ally, not enemy.
I’d dressed for the funeral, the silence in the house nearly as crushing as the weight settling over my heart. I wasn’t ready for good-bye. Not to Sam. And not to Rick.
The wind kicked up, the chilly November breeze biting at bare flesh. I stood with the small group of people beside Rick’s open grave, wearing one of his black suits. On my feet were my everyday shitkickers, knowing Rick would forgive it. He’d hated dress shoes. This was my way of paying tribute.
Sam stood on my right side, between Chase and me. Azirak smelled the pain and fear radiating from her in steady waves, taking small, negligible amounts as I slipped my hand into hers. As expected, her fingers didn’t move, but her colors evened out. The ribbons around her head got just a little less gray.
There were only a few other faces in the crowd I knew. Kelly sat in the front row, on the end. The dark glasses she wore might hide her swollen eyes, but the subtle shaking of her shoulders as the deep blue lingered, and the way she fisted the tissue until her knuckles paled, made me regret the years of animosity.
There were others, too. Several of the guys from Rick’s bowling league. Chip Mansen, an old friend from his construction days. Even Tim Henson from the post office.
The priest droned on and on about the how he was a pillar of the community and how charitable Rick Flynn was and how sorely he would be missed. A few minutes into the speech, I tuned him out. I’d made peace with his passing. This was fluff to soothe the masses. Dead was dead. It didn’t matter what Rick had done—or hadn’t done—in life. He wouldn’t care that his body had been laid to rest under the shade of a large dogwood tree. The mahogany casket with deep-blue silk lining. The sharp suit. They were all tools to take the sting away from the living.
The priest finished and one by one, people paid their last respects. Kelly kissed Sam’s cheek, then leaned in close to hug Chase. Before she walked away, she wrapped her arms around me, as well.
“He was a good man,” Chase said once we were alone. My brother’s eyes met mine and I was struck by the regret he saw there. “I know you hate me for this, Jax, and that’s fine. In fact, it’s better than fine. It’s easy. You and me, we never got a choice in all this. We were born into this world as pawns. Just all there is to it.”