Co BpeMeH Bepn1103a Hl1qerO He 113MeHl1JIOCb. lJenoBeK He MO)KeT
C YBepeHHOCTbID 3arnHHYTb B 3aBTpalIIHl1H p;eHb. TeM 60nee
B nocne3aBTpalIIHl1H. A ecnl1 Aa)Ke H 3arnHHeT - He 113BneqeT 113
3Toro nonb3bI. TIocKonbKY nl1lIIb 113pep;Ka 11 M113epHO MO)KeT
nOBnl1HTb Ha TO, "ITO p;eHCTBl1TenbHO CTOl1T Bnl1HHHH: Ha CMepTb
11 He113neql1Mble 60ne3Hl1, Ha KaTaCTpO<pbI 11 60nblIIHe HeCqa
CTbH
p;a)Ke Ha norop;y, eCJIl1 He Ha napy qaCOB Hap; ropop;OM,
• • •
a Ha MeCHIJ;bI Bnepep; 11 Hap; CTpaHoH. .D.a qTO TaM, p;eBHHOCTO
p;eBHTb qenOBeK 113 CTa (a TO H Bce) He Bnl1HIDT Ha CBoe p;aBneHHe,
TeMnepaTYPY, 60JIb B rOPJIe, lMMYH"TeT (eCJIH 6e3 JIeKapCTB).
Ha 3TOM <pOHe Hallia Hecnoco6HoCTb BJIl1HTb Ha CBoe HacTpoe
HHe, KOnHqeCTBO P;OCTynHbIX AeHer, OTHOIIIeHl1H C oKpf)KaIDl1-
Ml1 11 npoqee - Ka)KeTCH BOBce MenOqbID.
3aBTpaIIIHl1H p;eHb, cnep;yIDHH Ml1r P;nH nIDp;eH HenpeAcKa3yeM,
a nOToMY 06blqHO - cTpallieH. Ho ecnl1 Ha Ml1r 3a6bITb 0 cTpaxe
H BbIrnHHYTb 113 OKHa B MHp Heonpep;eneHHOCTl1 MbI l1CnbITaeM
• • •
nOTpHCeHl1e - Ka)KP;bIH CBoe. KTO-TO paCCTpOl1TCH, KTO-TO
nOTepHeTCH, a KTO-TO Bnap;eT B naHl1Ky. B 3aBl1Cl1MOCTH OT Cl1nbI
CTonKHOBeHHH. KorO-TO nopa3HT Bl1A qf)KOH CMepTl1, KorO-TO -
BCTpeqa C 6eCCMbIcneHHOH )KeCTOKOCTbID l1JIl1 TynOYMHeM, Koro
TO - JIl1IIIb nOTepH qaCTH CBoero MHpKa: HMyecTBa, 6JI113KHX
JIIDp;eH, p;eHer.
474
tI AC T b BTOPA.lI I Ycmpoucm6o KOMnocmepa 6 pa3peJe
QAHa SHaKOMaH AeBYIIIKa nOrpY3HJIaCb B MHOrOMeCHlIHYIO
AenpeCCHIO, 06HaPY)I{HB, liTO B rapAep06e y Hee yKpanH KOIIIeneK. ,!J;pyroH He BbIAep:>KaJI, KorAa p3KeTHpbI oT06panH 6H3Hec 11 yrpo)l{anH :>KH3HH AeTeJ1.' TpeTbR COpBaJIaCb, KorAa XOpOIIIHH
APyr He nOMor OTOMCTHTb 3a 06HAY. He no 3n06e He nOMor, He
no TpyCOCTH - H3-sa APyroro B3rJIHAa Ha MeCTb. Y 'IeTBepToro
YMepJIa MaTb, y nHToro - copBanaCb CBaAb6a, y IIIeCToro - JIIO-
6HMaR C YAOBOJIbCTBWeM sapa6aTbIBana CTpHnTH30M, a ceAb
MOH :>KeHHHe HHKTO He nOMor, KorAa npH CBeTe AHH ee 6HJIH
Tpoe TO nH nbRHbIX, TO nH 06KypeHHbIX nOApOCTKOB.
11 TaK Aanee, 11 TaK Aanee. YrHanH MaIIIl1HY, KynneHHyIO Ha no
CneAHl1e AeHbfH, pyxHyn py6JIb HJIH Aonnap, cepbe3Hble nIOAH
npMIIInH Tpe60BaTb OTAallW Aonfa (BO liTO AO nocneAHero He
BepwnOCb), cropen He3acTpaxoBaHHbIJ1 AOM, :>KeHa nepecnaJIa
C ApyrwM l1nM BOBce XO'IeT YHTl1, HallanbHl1K ysonMn BHe3anHO
H HecnpaBep;nHBO . • •
BOT BeAb cnOBe'IKO: «HeCnpaBeAnl1Bo». OHO :>Ke «He3acny:>KeHHO,
HellecTHO, HenpaBHJIbHO». Q lIeM 3TO?
r n A BA 8 I BHympu: rcopnopamu6Hblu MUifj
475
J1nnI03J1H IIOPHKA
q eJIOBeK He OKOH'IaTeJIbHO eJIen: OH 3HaeT, 'ITO Bee MO)l(eT
nOHTH «He TaK». Ho eeJIH P;YMaTb 06 9TOM noeTORHHO,
PYKH nonpocTY onycKalOTcR. II09ToMY HeHMoBepHble
YCHJIMR Hp;YT Ha TO, 'IT06bI 3aCTaBMTb MHp 6bITb npep;eKa3ye
MbIM. A eCJIH 9TO He yp;aeTcH - TO XOTR 6bl Cp;eJIaTb BMP;, 'ITO
YAaJIOCb. IIepep; caMHM C060H, He nepep; p;pyrMMM. Hy, HJIM P;JIR
Toro nepep; p;pyrMMH, 'tIT06bl y6ep;HTb, YJIOMaTb Bce-TaKH ce6H.
'lJT06bl MMp 3aBepTeJICR TaK, KaK p;OJI)I(eH. QT06bI nporHyTb ero
nop; ce6R.
B AeTCTBe Bce npOCTO H npep;cKa3yeMO. 06bIqHO. ECTb 3aHTa,
eCTb YBepeHHOCTb B 3aBTpailiHeM p;He. POAMTeJIM. Ho pe6eHOK
paCTeT H Bce 6blCTpee npM6JIM)I(aeTCR K MOMeHTY, KorAa nOHHMaeT: ero, JIHqHO ero 6YAee - He 06eCne'IeHo. Y KorO-TO HeT
rapaHTMH 3aJ1TbI OT 6ep;HOCTH, y KorO-TO OT CTpaAaHHR. J1 HH
Y Koro - OT CMepTH.
OTToro J1 J1eT 'IeJIOBeK C OTpO'IeCTBa CBOIO «npaBAY )l(H3Hli1»,
MJIH, HHaqe rOBopR, HHCTpyKHIO «KaK )l(HTb». QT06 He npora
AaTb, 'ITo6 He rrpOJ1rpaTb HJIH OTblrpaTbCR, qT06 He nOTepRTb,
'IT06bI cnaCTHCb, eCJIli1 Bce nOHAeT «He TaK»: eCJIH pYXHeT Kapbepa, eCJIH YHAeT Mf)I(, eCJIH )l(H3Hb nOKaJIe'IHT cTpamHbIH AHarH03
HJIM KJIeBeTa, eCJIH OMpa'iMT HeHaBMCTb MJIM rroA03peHHe, eCJIM
)l(p;eT CYMa HJIJ1 TIOpbMa. IIpoXOWlT rOAbl, H Ka)l(AbI1.'1: (rrOqTH
Ka)l(AbIH) HaxOAHT 'ITO-TO. CBOM «npaBHJIa». He rroToMY HaxO
• • •
Ali1T, 'ITO rrpaBMJIa eCTb. A nOToMY 'ITO, KaK H KO BCRKOH orraCHO
CTH, - rrpMBbIKaeT, nepeCTaeT AYMaTb 06 9TOM rrOCTORHHO, OT
BJIeKaeTCR. HayqaeTcR OTBOpa'IJ1BaTbCR, He 3aMeqaTb, 'ITO )l(lf3Hb
rrpaBHJIaM He OTBe'IaeT. BOT If «rrOJIerqaJIo». BOT J1 nORBJIReTCR
OHa - HJIJII03HH. J1nJII03J1R Toro, 'ITO MHpOM MO)l(HO yrrpaBJIRTb.
A 3HaqJ1T - 3acTpaxoBaH. 3Ha'IMT, MeHR MHHylOT 6eAbI H ropec
TH. ECJIli1 R Bee AeJIaIO «rrpaBli1JIbHO», 3HaqHT - He 6YAeT 6eAbI
Ha MoeH YJIMQe. He 6YAeT. He 6YAeT! HE BY,1J;ET!!!
rn ABA 8 I BHympu: Kopnopamulmblu MUcfi
477
PaAH TaKOK BepbI H rna3a nHIlIHHK pa3 Ha HerrpHrlDIAHOe 3a
KpbITb He )KanKO. Vi OTBepHYTbCR. Vi «p;OKa3aTenbCTBa» CBoeK
rrpaBOTbI HaTJI"yTb. Vi rrCHxaHYTb, H 'lenOBeKa y.n;apHTb - cno
BOM HnH KynaKoM, rrpe3peHHeM HJIH rrYJIeK. Vi rrbITaTb, H M)"IHTb
Toro, KTO rrOCMeeT <pHrOBbU1 JIHCTOK TaKOK «rrpaBAbI» copBaTb
crryqaKHo HnH OTCTaHBaJI HerrpaBKnbHYIO rrpaBAY CBOIO. Bce 3TO
paAH Toro, 'lT06bI, He p;aK 60r, He OTKPblJlOCb B30py caMoe CTpaIlI
Hoe - Herrpep;cKa3yeMoCTb. HecrrpaBep;nHBOCTb. OTCYTCTBHe
rapaHnti1:. OC03HaHHe Toro, 'ITO nI06ble P;OCTOHHCTBa, A06pop;e
TeJIH, CTpaxOBKH, BepHOCTb H rrpaBeAHOCTb - HH'lTO He crraceT
OT cnerroro CJIyqaJI. Tyrroro, cnerroro, )KeCTOKOro, HO rJIaBHOe -
CJIyqaJI. TIoHHMaHHe Toro, 'ITO 6ep;a, orraCHOCTb (H 60JIbillaJI,
H ManeHbKaJI) - Bcerp;a PJlAOM. MO)KeT, rrpoHeceT. A MO)KeT,
rrpoHeceT MHMO ApyrHX, rrOTOMY 'ITO rrorrap;eT - B Te6J1?
Mano KTO MO)KeT CMOTpeTb Ha TaKoe 6e3 TeMHbIX CTeKon
<pHnbTPOB p;onro, He OTBOpa'lHBaJlCb. CMOTpeTb TaK, 'lT06bI He
copBaTbCJI, He BblBepHYTbCJI HaH3HaHKY C rreperryry, He COKTH
C }'Ma. MO)l(eT 6blTb, HHKTO. A BOT CKB03b MYTHYIO p;bIMKY - Y)Ke
60JIbIIIe. A CKB03b OllKH, Ha KOTOPbIX HapHcoBaHo B p;OrrOJIHeHHe
'ITO-TO CBoe, - eIl.\e 60JIbwe. Hy a eCJIH Ha KJIy6J1Il.\yroCJI rrycToTY
H 6eC<popMeHHoe HHlITO HaJIO)l(HTb rrOJIyrrp03pa'lHyro (a JIyqme
H BOBce He rrp03pallHYIO) ceTKY
H CMOTpeTb He Ha
MHp, a KaK pa3 Ha 3TY ceTKY - BOT TYT rrOJlBJIJleTCJI H rrpep;CKa3YeMOCTb, H HeKOTOpaJI rapaHTHJI. Oc06eHHO eCJIH CKB03b TaKYIO
)Ke CeTO'lKY CMOTPJlT MHorHe, OlleHb MHorHe p;pyrHe. ECJIH AOfO
BOPHTbCJI oWH6aTbCJI op;HHaKOBO, eCJIH rrpHTBOpHTbCJI, 'ITO MbI
Bce BHP;HM OP;HO H TO )Ke, - TOfAa 3TO Y)Ke H He OIIIH6Ka, a BHp;e
HHe MHpa.
A ecnH MHp eMY He COOTBeTcTByeT? MHp HerrpaB! HecrrpaBeA
JIHB. MHp - BHHOBaT. A 3HallHT, p;OJI)KeH .I(On)KeH rrOMO'lb, HC
•
rrpaBHTb, KOMrreHcHpoBaTb. Hy HJIK XOTJI 6bI Te, C KeM BMeCTe
rrpHTBOpJlJIHCb. ECJIH He XOTJlT, 'lT06bI H me MHp pyxnyn.
478
q AC rb BTOPAJI I Ycmpoucm6o KOMnocmepa 8 pa3pe3e
XOPOllIO, ecnlif Oqepe,IJ;HOH cnenoti, a nOTOMY He ,IJ;06pbIH H He )Kec
TOKHH CJIyqati npMHeceT 'lTO-TO, 'ITO BepYIOlifH B «npaBMJIbHbIH»
MHp, B «nopH,n;OK» COqTeT 3TOH caMoH KOMneHCal\l1e:i1, B03,IJ;aJI
HHeM, paCKaHHlifeM MHpa. A ecnM - HeT?
TorAa OCTaeTCH lifnH YCHJIHTb Herrp03pa'lHOCTb KooPAHHaTHoH
ceTKlif M cnpaBe,n;JIMBOCTb Ml1pa - HapMCOBaTb CaMOMY I1mf
• • •
B pe3KHX 9MOl\l1JIX Hepa3YMHO copBaTb 06MaH'lHBYIO ceTKY, YBl1-
AeTb 6e3pa3JII1'lHO-paBHoAyrnHYIO )l(J13Hb, «KaK OHa eCTb» lif -
OAHO 113 Tpex: BrraCTb B arraTHIO 11 6e3pa3JIHqMe, copBaTbCH C Ka
TyrneK (B aJIKOrOnb, 6ecnpe,n;eJI, rrp0:>KlifraHMe :>KH3HM H npotIee)
MJIlif OTCTyrrHTb Ha3a,IJ;, crrelliHO HaTHrHBaJI CeTOtIKY Ha MeCTO HJII1
PHCYH HOBYIO, OTBepHYTbCH OT 6e306pa3Horo xaoca K ycnoKal1BalOeti l1JIJI1031111 rrOpH,IJ;Ka.
rnABA 8 I BHympu: Kopnopamu6HbLu MUifJ
479
CMOTPHJ1E B XAOC
BOC nOCaTpHBaTb H3peAKa, BnOJIrna3a. OTAoxHyn Ha pOS
npOqeM,
HbIX
eCTb
neM3
H
a,)I(ax em;e OAJofH
nOpHAKa nyTb:
- Ii
Cnefl(a
CHOBa,
oTcTynJofTb
OAHMM rna3KO Ii
M, B xa
Typ;a,
B HaCTOHI.IJ;ee, HenpeAcKa3yeMoe, HeynopHAolleHHOe. TIocMOTpeJI
CKOJIbKO AYXy XBaTMT, M CHOBa - BeCeJIbIe KapTMHKJ1. TIoeTeneH
HO qeJIOBeK Aa)f(e npHBbIKaeT AO HeKoTopoi1, Y Ka,)I(AOrO eBoei1,
• • •
CTeneHI1. Ho, HaCKOJIbKO H 3HalO, HMKTO - AO KOHu;a. TaK, HbI"
pHJIbI.IJ;HK MO)l(eT CO BpeMeHeM npOBoAHTb nOA BOAoti MHoro,
OqeHb MHoro BpeMeHH - HO Bce paBHO He CMO)l(eT 6bITb TaM
nOCTOHHHO. J1 lIeM 60nbwe OH OCTaBaJICH nop; BOAoi1, TeM CYAOpO)l(Hee J1 pe3l1e 6eT BAOX Ha nOBepXHOCTH.
KCTaTH, HHKTO He rOBopHT, liTO YBHAeHHoe BnOJIrJIa3a - npaB
Aa. )J;JIH KorO-TO 60nbW0J1 )l(M3HeHHbIJ1 nOABMr - CMOTpeTb Bcero qepe3 AeBHTb CJIOeB KanbKH, a He Qepe3 AeCHTb, KaK coceAM.
KTO-TO ropp;MTCH TeM, liTO AOXOAl1n AO ceAbMoro CJIOH. A KTO-TO
npHnoAHMMan yrOJIOK - cTpawHo cKa3aTb! - nHToro. K cO)l(a
JIeHJ1IO HnH K CqaCTblO, YBHAeTb Ml1p «KaK OH eCTb» He AaHO Aa,)I(e
)l(HBOTHbIM. Y HHX, KaK H y Hac, 3a 3TO OTBeqalOT «opraHbl
lIYBCTB». IJ;BeTa B MHpe HeT, HO MbI (M OHM) ero «BHAMM». BpeMe
HH HeT, HO MbI ero H3MepHeM (a BOT )l(J1BOTHble }')Ke HeT), npo
CTpaHCTBa TO)l(e HeT, HO Hae 3TO He cMfIll;aeT ©. J1 nYCTb Y qeno
BeKa eCTb npH60pbl, HO H me nOKa3aHHH, XOQeWb He XOqeWb,
nepeBOAHTCR B HaWH «BH)Ky-CJIbIWy-qYBCTBYIO».
BocnpHHHTb MJ1P Henocpep;CTBeHHO, MI1HYH QYSCTBa, qeJIOBeKY
He no 3y6aM*.
* no KpauHeu Mepe,
a8mop He 3HUKOM
TaK J1 THHeT CKa3aTb «M CJIaBa Annaxy», HO 3TO H3 Toti )l(e 06naCTH
c OOKaJamellbHblMU
caMo06MaHa, QTO H «6eCCMepTbe CKyqHO», «He B AeHbrax CQanpUMepaMU mozo,
"mo sma 803MO:HCHO
CTbe» 11 «KpaCOTa B qeJIOBeKe He rnaBHoe». «3eJIeH BI1Horpap;», 0)1;
HMM CJIOBOM. ECJIM KpacoTa H p;eHbrM em;e KaK -TO AOCTynHbI p;a)I(e