“They could,” Herman said. “I think they’re so stoned they’ll do good to stand up, let alone saddle and ride a horse. My guess is they got to wait about as long as Irvin’s got to wait.”
“From your mouth to God’s ear,” Brett said.
“Where’s Tillie?” I asked.
“At the back of the plane, sleeping,” Brett said. “They had her on something strong. Or she had herself on it. She’s really wiped out.”
“I think we take turns at watch,” Leonard said. “I don’t like being surprised.”
“Very well,” Bill said. “I’ll go first.”
The Mexican held out his hand, said something to Herman. Herman said, “He wants money.”
Brett picked up her purse, opened it, gave him a ten dollar bill. “That’s pretty close to tapping me out,” she said.
“Gracias,” said the little Mexican, then fired off something very fast in Spanish, got up, and left.
“What did he say?” I asked.
“He hopes you don’t die,” Herman said.
It was late at night when I awoke, hurting like holy hell. Brett was sitting on the floor with her head next to the seat where I lay. When I turned to look at her, I saw she was awake.
“How you feeling?” she said.
“Shitty.”
“I’ve got some aspirin. I can get you some water.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
Brett disappeared for a moment, came back with aspirin and a canteen. She had to hold my head up. I took ten aspirin and a sip of water.
“I owe you, Hap Collins,” Brett said.
“Hope you don’t think so,” I said. “Except in sexual favors, of course.”
“I’d give you a blow job, but frankly my guess is your dick stinks and you’ve bled all over it from your thigh. On top of that, you haven’t had a bath in a while.”
“Neither have you,” I said.
“Yes, but I brought perfume and I never soil my underwear.”
“Not even when I make you hot?”
“I guess that’s an exception.”
“How’s Tillie?”
“She’s still out. I think she’ll be all right, though. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“I feel weak, but all right. I get something to eat, a big glass of ice tea, and I’ll be ready to rock and roll. After a month of bed rest.”
“Soon as you get better, what you’ll be doing in bed won’t pass for rest.”
“You’re going to have your work cut out for you with Tillie, Brett.”
“I know.”
“You don’t just come out of a life like that and take up choir practice and run supermarket errands.”
“I don’t know. Maybe Tillie would love that sort of thing now. Maybe she’s through rebelling.”
“At her age, she’s not rebelling, Brett. She’s living a lifestyle.”
“Don’t depress me. Not after all we’ve accomplished.”
“Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to.”
27
I slept painfully, but the next morning, just before daylight, I was a little stronger. Out of the pack Bill had brought he produced some tins of sardines. We opened the cans and ate the fish with our fingers. I found that I not only had an appetite, but was feeling better. Not strong enough to jerk my dick, maybe, but at least strong enough to hold it and think about the motions.
After I had eaten, Leonard helped me get into my clothes and shoes. I tried to stand, but couldn’t. Leonard went outside and came back carrying Irvin in a fireman’s carry. He put Irvin in one of the seats, propped him up and started slapping him.
Not too hard at first, but he picked up the pace.
“Easy,” I said.
“You just relax,” Leonard said, “and leave the slapping to me.”
He slapped Irvin some more. Irvin opened one eye and tried to grab Leonard’s wrist, but Leonard grabbed his, bent Irvin’s arm at the elbow, and put a reverse gooseneck on his wrist. It was enough to make Irvin sober for a moment.
“Goddamn!” Irvin said. “You’re hurtin’ me.”
“Man, I hate that,” Leonard said. “You done had you a good night’s sleep, so what we want for you to do is fly us out of here.”
“Fly you out,” Irvin said. “I can’t even see!”
“What I want,” Leonard said, “is for your vision to improve dramatically.”
“I’m sick,” Irvin said.
“I don’t give a shit,” Leonard said. “Fly us out.”
“In broad daylight!” Irvin said. “You can’t do it in broad daylight.”
“Is there another place we can park for the day?” Herman asked. “Some place away from this village?”
“I know one or two,” Irvin said. “But we’re not that well fueled. We’d be stretching it.”
“Is it possible?” Leonard asked.
“Yeah, it’s possible,” Irvin said, “but we might have to fart in the tank to finish out the ride. We make it, it’ll be by a cunt hair.”
“Where is this place?” Herman asked.
“It’s not a landing strip,” Irvin said. “It’s not even a field like this. It’s just a place. I put down there once because I had to. Ground’s flat enough, I suppose. It’s south of here. But it’s stretching the fuel, I’m tellin’ you.”
“Sittin’ here is stretching our odds,” Leonard said. Then he called to the back. “Any sardines left?”
“Yeah,” Bill said.
“Feed this asshole, and let’s go.”
“Fuck the sardines,” Irvin said. “Don’t talk to me about sardines. I can’t eat that shit, way I been drinkin’. I don’t eat that shit when I’m sober.”
“Then you do whatever you need to do short of another drink,” Leonard said. “Lift us out of here. Go where you need to go. And come dark, you fly our asses back to Texas. Herman, you want that midget, I’d load him on board now, and get all his little cowboy suit accessories too. And let’s keep things like they been. Meanin’ people got guns keep guns, and those don’t got guns don’t get guns. And Herman, I don’t much like the fact you got a gun.”
Herman didn’t respond. He was still carrying the Winchester we had given him. He put it down on the seat next to Leonard, went outside to get Red out of the jeep.
We flew to the spot Irvin had told us about. It was a short and scary flight. Bolts in the plane rattled and we jerked about a lot in the wind. When we landed the day turned very hot and by afternoon I was covered in sweat and sick to my stomach and could only sip water. Inside the plane was like being inside a heated pottery kiln, but I was too weak to go outside, and Leonard assured me it was worse out there.
Red had come out of his drunk talkative as ever. He spent a lot of time complaining about how he felt and what we had done to him and how we had messed up his plans.
Tillie hadn’t moved, and if it weren’t for Brett checking on her from time to time, I would have thought she was dead.
I propped myself up in the seat, and Brett sat down beside me. “She’s really out,” she said. “I think I get her home, I got to start her with rehab. I just hope to hell I got money to do rehab.”
“Just keep your spirits up,” I said.
“Honey, my spirits are so far down they got to look up to see my socks. And then they need binoculars.”
* * *
As nightfall came I began to get a chill. Leonard put his coat on me again, and Brett sat close, holding me. When it was dark enough, Leonard gave Irvin a little encouragement. “Let’s go, shitwipe.”
“Leonard missed his calling,” Brett said. “He should have been in the diplomatic corps.”
“Yeah,” I said. “He’s got a way with words.”
Irvin groaned, got up, and wandered into the open cabin. He sat down behind the controls. Leonard sat in the navigator’s seat. Irvin said back to us, “Remember, we don’t make it, it’s ’cause this bully made me fly without enough fuel.”
“We don’t make it,” Brett said, “it’s because your ass was drunk last night when we should have flown out.”