Noah pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I eyed Mason when Noah lit one up. Mason shrugged. It wasn’t a cigarette at all. He took a long drag and then passed it to Lainey. She hesitated, looking at the two of us before she brought it to her lips.
Lainey coughed, passing it to me. I took a light drag and passed it to Mason.
“This girl doesn’t. I’ve always been a tomboy,” I said, blowing out smoke.
“A total tomboy,” Mason laughed. He studied the joint in his hand as he exhaled a cloud of smoke.
“Oh yeah? You two always been so close?” Noah prodded. He took the joint back from Mason, licking his lips. He took a deep, full drag from the joint, almost killing the rest of it.
“Yeah, we were raised together,” I said, watching Lainey make another weak attempt at smoking.
“You don’t seem tomboyish to me. How many tomboys wear pink?” Noah said, tugging at my shirt. He leaned against the tree, going quiet.
“So, Mason, how good were you at baseball?” Lainey asked, scooting closer to Mason. He took the joint from her, their fingers touching for a split second.
I watched her play with her hair, pretending to be interested in everything he had to say. He kept on talking, savoring the moment and the high. His smile grew bigger every time he ignited giggles from her. She innocently touched his arm with her fingertips each time she laughed.
Noah shot up from the ground. He looked at the two of them.
“I’m going to take a walk. If you don’t want to sit here and be bored then you could come,” Noah told me. He shook his legs free of leaves. I accepted his hand, letting him pull me up.
Mason didn’t notice I’d even left. I was a little bothered by his complete fixation on Lainey. As I walked through the woods with Noah I heard another giggle. I kept my eyes fixed to our feet as we walked the trail.
“How exactly do you know my dad?” he asked, the silence shattered.
“I never met him. I guess my mother and aunt knew him. He never told you?”
“I don’t make it a point to ask him about his life before my mother,” he said snidely.
“I’m sorry, why are you being so rude?” I asked.
He seemed shocked at that. “This is just me. No one’s ever said that to me before.”
“Probably afraid to,” I said softly.
He nodded, staring at the clearing ahead of us. My whole body was calm and fuzzy feeling.
“And if you think they’re all afraid of me why would you say something?” He lifted a stone from the ground. He moved closer, watching my every move.
“It takes a lot more than a blond hair, blue-eyed country boy to scare me,” I said, blowing him off. His intimidation tactics weren’t working on me.
“What about Mason? You think he scares easily?” he asked.
“Mason seems mellow, but he’s got a lot more going on than you’d think,” I warned him.
“Very protective aren’t we?” He smirked, amusement showing in his eyes.
“So, what kind of girl are you, Kendall?”
I laughed, pushing his shoulder and walking back the way we came. I wasn’t falling for his lame attempts at flirting with me.
“The girls around here take one look at me and they’re all about it,” he said, following behind me.
“You’re cocky. And I don’t think you’re polite at all,” I said, not slowing down.
“Dark hair more your thing?” he asked, hitting a nerve.
“I don’t have a thing.”
“The two of you don’t even look like relatives. I bet fifty dollars he’s had his hands all over your body,” he said, pushing me.
“Sometimes you’re better off not asking so many questions, Noah,” I told him.
“My sister’s pretty quick. She sees something she wants and she takes it,” he said, still trying his best to get under my skin.
I bit my tongue as we came to the top of the clearing—just in time to see Lainey pulling away from Mason’s lips. She jumped to her feet and let out an embarrassed laugh.
My stomach dropped. I was shocked Mason would kiss her. Lainey wiped her lips free of her smeared lip gloss. Mason came over to me.
I tried not to act shocked.
“You don’t want to see the water?” Lainey asked, jumping in between the two of us. I kept my eyes on Mason, ready to deck her. He rolled his eyes, irritated by my attitude.
“No, I think I need some sleep,” Mason said.
“Yeah, looks like it,” I mumbled.
Noah grabbed my arm, letting Mason go ahead of us. Mason shot me a look, knowing full well there wasn’t a thing he could say to me now.
My heart ached.
“I told ya,” Noah said in a singsong voice as we headed back to the house.
JUNE 25
TH
THE NEXT TWO DAYS flew by. I stayed inside most of the time, barely showing my face to the sun. It was clear I was upset…for many reasons. First of all, I was angry that I let Mason have the power to upset me. I’d let him crawl inside my mind and behind my emotional barricade. I thought I was okay with the feelings he was starting to show.
But now, seeing Mason do what boys do best, the feelings had almost vanished, leaving me angry at everything. I was starting to care less and less about anyone. My skin had thickened with every blow to my heart. It made me wish I was more robotic by nature—having no human feelings or cares.
I finally ventured outside to enjoy the sunny day. I walked barefoot through the grass, and it tickled my feet. As I walked around, I admired the natural beauty of the land Roger and Anna owned. Yeah¸ it was hard to hide inside on a day like this.
Anna was in the yard hanging colorful quilts on the clotheslines. Her white dress blew to the side like ivory petals, making her look like a flower, tiny and delicate. She always had a smile on her face. I sat beneath a big tree, eventually lying back in an attempt to clear my mind and relax.
“Are you hungry, sweetie?” Anna asked. I stared up at her, the blue sky behind her making her saintly looking.
“No, not really,” I said softly, breathing in the fresh air.
She dropped the wicker laundry basket in the grass and took a seat beside me. Her dress slid up past her thighs as she wrapped her arms around her legs. And she didn’t seem to care. She stared off, lost in thought.
“Roger tells me your mom and you don’t speak anymore,” she said. She kept her gaze straight ahead.
I sat up, propping myself up with my elbows.
“It’s been a couple years,” I lied. I wasn’t sure what to say.
“He also tells me you’ve been through a lot in your life–and you’ve had no real role models.” She eyed me, waiting for a response.
I sat up straight. I wasn’t one to divulge much information about my family. I never talked with anyone about them. Oh, Mason knew some things, but he didn’t know everything. Mason knew only what he’d witnessed himself.
“We can’t all be so fortunate to have what you guys do,” I said defensively.
“I’m not trying to upset you. I’m just trying to show you there are women that are good, that have good hearts.” She smiled.
My heart sped up rather than calmed down. I swallowed down the anger I could feel bubbling in my soul.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never known a single person like that in my life.”
“That’s very sad. You’re a nice girl, Kendall,” she said.
“You don’t know anything about me. Nothing nice comes from a rotten life like mine. I do what I know. That’s all I can do,” I said, lying back down. I reached down with my hands and pulled at the grass.
Anna stood up. She knew she wasn’t getting through to me. Some people just couldn’t be helped.