Renee took another sip of her beer. She studied the room, looking lost in a strange reverie. “What time do you think he’ll be back?” she asked Trent.
Trent jumped up as the door opened. Star continued to pluck at the chords of her guitar, never fully playing a song. Renee jumped to her feet, happy to see the guy who just arrived and came into the living room.
Mason and I immediately checked him out. He fidgeted with the pocket of his brown dickeys, shuffling across the floor in his skater shoes. His head was shaved and he was covered in tattoos.
“Guys, this is Shifty,” Renee said, wrapping an arm around him. He gave a small nod in our direction and his blues eyes lingered on me. He was clearly stoned—obviously into partying. Shifty didn’t sit well with me. I’d met enough of Aunt Wanda’s friends to know someone was bad news when I saw them. I’d gotten pretty good at reading people. These were the kind of people who would pretend to be your friends, but would stab you in the back when something better came along. This was especially true where addictions were concerned.
And his name—Shifty—was probably a nickname earned for bad character.
Once Shifty got there, the night seemed to come alive. Everyone gathered around Renee’s coffee table where all eyes were glued on Shifty.
He pulled a bag from his shorts and tossed it on the table. Renee squealed with delight, clapping her hands together.
“Either of you ever do K?” Shifty asked, directing the question at Mason. Mason dropped his elbows on the coffee table and leaned forward to get a better look at the drugs.
“My cousin, back in Jersey, calls it Ket,” Mason said with a crooked grin.
He cut a fine line on the table with a credit card, shooting me a look as if I had something equally charming to add to the conversation. I pursed my lips.
“I’ve had my fair share of run-ins,” Mason told him.
I wasn’t sure if he was trying to fit in or brag. I also knew he didn’t lie very often nor was he an angel.
Trent and Star waited patiently. I hadn’t pegged Star as a drug user. She gathered her hair in her hands and piled it on top of her head in a messy bun. She was ready, eager anticipation written all over her face.
“Well, since you’re the guest,” Shifty said, and motioned for Mason to go first.
Renee handed Mason a rolled bill. Mason leaned forward and I closed my eyes at the sound of him snorting that junk.
I looked at Renee. She seemed happy that her new friend was willing to dabble in her recreational activities. Mason wiped at his nose and leaned back against the couch. Everyone looked at me now.
“Kendall, have you ever done K?” Shifty asked, searching my eyes for willingness.
Mason grabbed my arm and nudged me forward. He wanted me to do it—they all did.
“No. I’ve never tried the stuff,” I said. My cheeks heated with naïve embarrassment. I should’ve been proud of that, but there I sat feeling like a moron.
I took a deep breath. What was the worst that could happen? My life felt like it was already as bad as it could get.
Shifty pulled a finger through the powder and offered it to Renee. She eagerly sucked and licked the powder from his finger. She smiled at me and offered me the same service—Shifty’s finger. I swallowed down in disgust, not exactly thrilled with the idea of sucking a drug off some strange guy’s finger. I pushed the revulsion to the back of my mind long enough to do the same thing Renee had done.
I sat back, a bitter taste invading my tongue. It wasn’t long before I began to feel more relaxed than ever before—like sailing away on a cloud of nothing. I leaned back against the sofa, savoring the tranquility while everyone around me seemed to be talking all at once.
Mason leaned against me, his body heavier than before. He rested his head on my shoulder. I didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. I couldn’t tell if Renee’s laughter was getting louder or if it was in my head. I also didn’t understand why I was suddenly obsessed with the ceiling and seemed to see every little detail.
Shifty seemed to suddenly materialize in front of me. He smiled, watching me like I was some science experiment. I didn’t know if he was as close as he seemed, but I didn’t have the strength to swat him away.
“What are you doing?” I asked him, hoping I hadn’t said that as loud as it sounded.
“I’m watching you. Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked.
I nodded, enjoying the newfound awareness of my head as it moved up and down. “What about you?” I asked as I rested my head on the arm of the couch. I swatted at what I thought were bugs—or maybe it was lint.
I ran my hand across my forehead trying to ease the weird sensations from my head—like time stood still. Why had I been stupid enough to go along with this crap?
“I’m more of a quick guy,” he grinned. “I like the fast shit. Meth is my best friend most days.”
I closed my eyes. And suddenly someone was pulling me back into a sitting position. I opened my eyes looking for Mason. He was up and moving again. He looked at me with a confused expression. Everything was turning and spinning all around me and, once again, the darkness was upon me.
I could hear the beating of my heart like a tiny mad man was banging away on a drum. A crazed man just banged and banged and…
“Kendall,” Mason shouted, shaking me back to reality. He slapped my face. I pushed him away from me and sat up. Shifty sat across from us. Even he looked worried.
Renee crawled across Mason’s lap. I tried looking at her but my eyes weren’t cooperating with me. I watched her run her hands through Mason’s hair like she was petting an animal. He didn’t seem bothered by it. He was only focused on me and getting me to wake up and act right.
“Dude, here,” Trent said, as he shoved a pipe in Mason’s face. Mason dropped me back against the couch and took a hit of whatever was in the pipe.
“Kendall is pretty hot, dude,” someone said.
My heart sped up and I kept my eyes closed, willing it all to end.
“She’s beautiful, but I must say I’ve always had a thing for redheads,” someone else said. That ignited a round of laughter.
“Been there,” someone else said.
***
I woke up shaking uncontrollably. The room was dark. I had no idea how much time had passed, but it seemed like hours. I felt like myself again—for the most part. I was very groggy and feeling sick.
I stood up on shaky legs and fell into the wall. I fumbled for something to hold onto as I made my way through Renee’s dark apartment. I grabbed the first doorknob hoping it was a bathroom. I knew I was going to be sick and I didn’t want to puke all over Renee’s nice things.
“Mason?” I called out. “Renee?” No answer.
I pushed open the door.
“Oh, whoa!” Renee squealed and covered her chest with her hands. Mason was behind her in an intimate position. He kissed her shoulder and kept moving…not a care in the world.
“Where is the bathroom?” I demanded. “I think I’m going to be sick.” My stomach churned even more at the realization that Mason was having sex with Renee.
Shifty appeared in the hallway. Renee shot him an annoyed expression and he shut the door, leaving Mason and Renee to finish what they’d started.
“Kendall, are you okay?” Shifty asked. He tilted his head to the side. He was so messed up he could barely hold his eyes open. He walked me down the hall and opened the door to the bathroom. He turned on the light and offered me entrance. “Are you feeling sick?”
I nodded. I wondered how long it had taken for him to become addicted to using drugs. I wondered why everything I did seemed like such an epic fail.
“I suck at life,” I told him, kneeling before the toilet. He stood watching me from the doorway.
“Did you ever think life just sucks?” he asked.