“Mason is such a good boy, a really good boy. It’s a shame he has such a mother to deal with. He’s sad and lost. I’ve always told Johnny that.” She nodded her head in confirmation.
I knew she was right. Mason was lost in a lot of ways and I knew that made him sad. He just never let it show.
“Johnny?” I asked curious.
“Oh, he likes to be called Jay. He’s my grandson. I’m sure you’ve met. He takes care of me. He’s a sweet boy despite his actions at times,” she said, looking away from me.
“He seems to be,” I agreed.
“I think a mother’s role is very important in a young man’s life. And Johnny and Mason never had very good ones. Which is why they are on the wrong paths. It’s my wish to see them do well for themselves before I die,” she said.
“I think a mother could be good for a girl, too, if you don’t mind me saying so.” I stared at my feet.
“There’s nothing wrong with saying so, sweetie,” she said, trying to read my somber expression.
“I never had one since I could remember. And I know I probably would have turned out a lot different if I did. Maybe life wouldn’t feel so bad. Do you think that’s possible?” I asked, letting out a sigh, on the verge of tears. For some reason talking to her made me feel vulnerable.
“Who was there for you, sweetie?”
“My Aunt Wanda and she’s not a good person,” I said, catching sight of the sun as it started to come up.
“I’ve heard my share about her as well. The only words of advice I can give you are these: live your life to its fullest. And make sure you find some kind of happiness in it or it will all be for nothing.” She stood up. “I’ve been on this earth for sixty-two years and I’m happy where life has led me. I’m sick and I’m not going to be around much longer, but I’m happy and that’s what matters to me the most.”
I smiled at her. She walked away, squeezing my shoulder in passing. I thought about her words. She had seen a lot in sixty-two years, but probably nothing like what I’d seen.
“Gran, what are you doing outside? You’re going to catch a cold or something,” Jay said, taking her by the arm. He shot me a glance, taking her back inside.
I waited around, hoping he would come back out and visit for a while.
The door shut quietly and he appeared in front of me. His smile returned as he got closer.
“I like your gran,” I told him.
“Yeah. Most people do. She’s really sick and we brought her home…to…well, you know,” he said, unable to say the word.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Are you okay?” I asked, trying to read his smile.
“I’m scared to death of what it’s going to be like when she’s not around anymore quite honestly. I don’t share that with just anyone,” he said, crossing his arms.
“She said she’s had a happy life. And I think that’s amazing to be able to say that. I know if I died tomorrow I couldn’t say that.” I looked away.
“Yeah, me either. And I’m sure Mason couldn’t either. He barely said anything to me tonight. I really don’t know what his deal is,” he sighed.
“I told you I know him better than you,” I said with a grin.
“Oh I know what upset him. I just don’t understand why,” he said, looking at me. Our eyes locked and I couldn’t look away.
“Well, then, why don’t you tell me what you think upset him?” I asked.
“I told him I wanted to learn more about you. And how gorgeous I think you are. I just don’t get why that didn’t fly with him.” He blinked, waiting for me to say something.
My cheeks warmed and my heart crashed in my chest. A million and one butterflies raced through my stomach.
“You don’t want to learn more about me…believe me. But thanks for the compliment,” I said shyly.
He took my chin, closing the distance between us and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. His lips lingered for a quick moment. His breath warmed my cheek. I touched his face, caught up in the moment, staring deep into his eyes, trying to figure out what a guy like him wanted with me. We locked lips; his kiss was slow and soft. My heart skipped a beat or two I’m sure.
I pulled away. “I should get to bed.”
He stared down at me, his hand finding the back of my neck. He laid one more kiss on my cheek and let me go.
“Goodnight, Kendall,” he said, watching me stumble for the stairs.
I hurried up the giant staircase that wound all the way to the top in a glorious fashion. I was in a hurry to get to my room and get the beating in my chest to settle down.
I screamed as I came in the door. “Mason! Don’t do that to me.”
I shut the door quickly before anyone came asking me if I was okay. Mason stayed sprawled out on my bed, his arms behind his head. He stared at the ceiling as if I weren’t there at all. But at the same time I knew he wanted to look at me.
“All this time I thought you wouldn’t buckle,” he said, his voice low, almost angry.
I balled my fist, knowing where he was going with his comment. “Don’t you dare say it!” I moved forward, giving him a hard whack in the chest.
I was so angry with him.
He sat up in a flash. “He’s a bad guy. He’s the one I got in trouble with all the years you’ve known me. But one look was all it took for you to see past that. He’s scum like all the rest,” he said, looking me over in disgust.
I stood still, my hands balled in tight fists. There wasn’t a lot I could say to defend myself. He was right.
“I just want to go to bed, Mason,” I said instead.
He stood up, letting me lay down. I turned away from him on my side and curled up into a ball on top of the beautiful blue comforter.
“You don’t want to face the facts. That’s your problem, Kendall. He’s scum and you know it. But you’re never going to admit it,” he said, pressing the issue.
I closed my eyes, hoping he would just go away.
“Another fun fact for you…we are all over the news,” he said dryly.
“What?” I said, sitting up in bed. I clutched at my stomach as my breath escaped me. I felt like someone had socked me in the gut.
“Yep. But you were too busy outside making out with Jay to realize your life just got a billion times worse. I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t matter if you’re being an idiot,” he said sarcastically. “We’re screwed anyway.”
I yanked off my sandal and threw it at his head as hard as I could—missing, of course. He ducked just in time. He shook his head and slammed the door so hard it shook the pictures on the wall.
I didn’t lie back down. I pulled my knees to my chest and held on for dear life. Tears slid down my face, dripping on my jeans.
I sobbed softly, taking careful breaths, trying to control the panic overtaking my body.
I jumped from the bed and grabbed the phone that sat on the end table.
“Yes, I believe it’s Alberta…A-l-b-e-r-t-a…the Matheson hotel. Could you look up a Laurel Edgerton,” I asked the lady after calling directory assistance.
I knew many of Aunt Wanda’s aliases and when she found each one suitable to use.
The phone was silent. I stared at the windows, trying to digest that my worst nightmare was about to come true. And all I could think of was finding Aunt Wanda.
“Hello Miss?” The operator said. “Mrs. Laurel checked out just an hour ago. I’m very sorry. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
I couldn’t speak. I hung up the phone.
“I’m dead. I’m totally dead,” I said softly at first, and then louder each time the words came out. I paced the room.
JULY 12
TH
I WAS AFRAID.