He tipped his head to the side letting out a sigh. “He has no emergency contacts other than his mother who is currently in a correctional facility.”
“What good is that to him? I’m the closest person to him. I want to be informed,” I said. “His mother doesn’t deserve to know anything about Mason. Please, if you could do anything for Mason, don’t call her or his father,” I begged.
John hesitated and about the time I’d lost hope of getting any help from him, he nodded. “Let me see what I can do.”
I walked back to my seat. “I hope she rots in hell,” I said angrily. I plopped down next to my mom. She dropped her magazine in her lap.
“Wanda or Payton?” she asked, amused.
“Well, both. But Payton. He’s in there fighting for his life all because of her. He wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t for that awful woman.” I sighed, closing my eyes, praying for Mason to pull through.
“Neither would you, Kendall.” She took my hand. “You have to have faith that things will turn out all right.”
I laughed. “I tried to have faith my whole life and it never got me anywhere. I don’t know if I believe that.”
She stroked the top of my hand with her fingertips trying to comfort me.
“I don’t know what to do. Mason screwed everything up. Did he do it on purpose so he wouldn’t be around to suffer the consequences?” I clutched my stomach, sick at the thought of it.
“Kendall, don’t talk like that. After all you guys have gone through, you have to hope for the best. Mason cared about you very much. He did this because he thought he was out of options,” she added.
“He was always thinking about me. I think he wanted to die,” I declared.
Two men and a woman walked out from behind the hospital doors. The taller one pulled off his gloves. He was covered in what I assumed was Mason’s blood. He looked almost irritated as he scanned the waiting room.
His eyes settled on me and my heart fluttered to life in my chest. I got up, knowing he was there for Mason. My mom stayed back and let me have my space.
“Kendall, I take it?” he asked. “I’ve been informed of the situation with Mason’s mother. I normally wouldn’t tell anyone but a family member about a patient’s condition. But I’m going to look past that rule this one time.” He took a quick pause and looked at me. “We did all that we could for him. But I have to tell you he did not make it.”
I swallowed the huge lump in my throat. Adrenaline rushed through my body as I waited for him to say something more, like that I was hearing him wrong, that he was mistaken.
“You can go see him if you like,” he said. He pushed the door open, letting me through.
Mom was quickly at my side. We followed the nurse down the hallway. Nothing was on my mind but getting there to see Mason.
“Are you okay?” Mom asked.
The nurse came to a stop at the end of the hall. She waited patiently for me to go inside.
“I really don’t know,” I said, scared of what he would look like.
She took my hand and walked with me through the door.
I forced myself to look at Mason.
And my heart crumbled into a million tiny pieces.
“So this is what he gets for having such a terrible life?” I asked as the tears escaped. “I never imagined this is what he would look like dead.”
Mom touched my arm, trying to comfort me. I moved closer, bringing my hand down on the table. It was him, but he was dead—it was obvious just looking at him.
My heart crashed in my chest. I was sure my heart would stop beating. I tried to hold it together. He was gone. My Mason was gone. I didn’t want to believe it. I just wanted him to wake up and look at me and say something Mason-like.
The flood of memories rushed through my mind. I thought back on the day I saw him for the first time after so many months and how he nearly crushed me in his arms. He had been so happy to see me. I had immediately felt safe again in his arms—no matter how much time I was away from him.
I thought about the moment I realized I loved him. I smiled at the moments he stood up to Wanda for me. Or how he always teased me. But no matter what he did, he did it for me. Me first—him second.
Now here he was laying in front of me, no longer able to hold up his end of our deal. The promises we made meant nothing now. I would no longer hear him tell me he loved me. There would be no more soft touches or smiles when he pressed his lips against my cheek or whispered in my ear.
“We tried everything we could but there was just too much damage,” the nurse explained. I wiped my eyes, nodding my head in understanding.
“I’ll let you have a moment alone,” Mom said from the doorway.
The nurse tried to object.
Mom stepped forward, her finger shooting out in front of her. “You listen here, this is my daughter and she needs to say goodbye. I don’t care what you or anyone thinks. Mason deserves a goodbye! He was a great kid! And Kendall will get her goodbye, so help me!” Mom’s voice broke. She pushed her hair from her eyes, wiping her own tears with the back of her hand. The nurse quickly left.
“Take all the time you need, Kendall.” Mom shut the door, leaving me alone with Mason.
I ran a hand through my hair. The tears flowed quicker now. I lifted Mason’s hand.
He was still warm.
“I don’t even know what I’m going to do without you.” I sobbed, squeezing his hand. I stared at him. “And it scares me to my core to even think about a life without you.” I ran a hand through his hair. I just wanted him back. I tried to smooth his hair, make him look like the Mason I remembered.
“I wish you could tell me what to do, Mason. I didn’t see this coming. I wish you’d have told me. I wish you weren’t so stubborn and always thinking about saving me. We could have saved each other.” I dropped my head, sobbing. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t leave him all alone. He was going to be alone.
It was the most horrifying thing that ever happened to me. Nothing compared to losing Mason. I would have lived the rest of my life with Aunt Wanda if it meant I’d still have Mason.
But now, because of him, I didn’t have to. I lifted my head and stood up.
“You saved me when I couldn’t save myself. I wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for you.” I leaned down and kissed his forehead. I touched his cheek, lingering for a few seconds more.
Taking him in for the very last time.
“I love you, Mason.” I blew him a kiss. My hands trembled as I grabbed the door knob. “Goodbye, Mason.”
I bolted from the room and into my mom’s waiting arms. She held me tight, but it couldn’t compare to a hug from Mason.
“Kendall, I am so very sorry,” she said, smoothing my hair. She let me cry.
I was unable to speak. I was all out of words. But I was full of pain and in absolute misery as I walked away from the one person who had ever made me feel whole.
We’d seen so much together. He taught me how to love when I fell in love with him.
Sometimes, the only choice you have in life is to move forward. I knew that was the only choice I had left.
I realized how very lucky I was to have survived everything I’d been through.
I was lucky to have made it out alive.
Yeah, I was bruised and a bit broken. I was screwed up and I would probably never be okay again. But, I was still Kendall. And I was sure I could make it through anything now. And no matter if I liked it or not I would keep making it because I knew that was what Mason wanted.
And there was one thing that would always be most important: Not letting Mason down.