Candace watched him, speechless, as he took his place next to Ferb, who stood ready at a keyboard. Beside them, like backup singers, smoothly swaying to the beat, stood their friend Isabella and three of her fellow Fireside Girls. Isabella was never far from the members of her scout group.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” said Phineas, gesturing to Isabella and the girls, “the Ferbettes!”
The air was filled once more with cheers.
“I’m Phineas,” he went on, “and this is Ferb, and we’re going to sing a song.” He began to sing and strum his guitar.
The Ferbettes sang too. With each new lyric, they moved together.
Candace turned from her brother to the audience. The crowd was singing along with every word and doing all the moves the band did. Honestly, it was almost as if they were in some sort of Ferbette trance or something!
Bouncing and singing, Phineas made his way over to his sister. Then he stopped and pointed to her. “Candace!”
Candace stood there in the spotlight as the whole mall waited for her to sing. She looked down at the lyrics sheet. Then she looked over at Phineas. Slowly, her eyes narrowed and she ground her teeth.
“Wait a minute!!!” she shouted. The sheet music went flying, and she balled her hands into tight fists. “What are you doing?”
“I’m cueing you,” Phineas answered, still pointing and poised to go on.
“How did you get a hit single?” Candace hollered.
“Well, it wasn’t easy,” said Phineas with a matter-of-fact nod. “It took most of the morning and half a dozen phone calls, but if you’re willing to put in the work—”
Candace felt as if she might explode — right then and there. Talk about not fair! Phineas and Ferb weren’t even musical! And here they were, landing in the spotlight, just the same as always!
“That’s it!” she fumed, throwing her arms into the air. Then she glared at Phineas and pointed. “I’m going to tell Mom!”
“Okay…” replied Phineas slowly. “Tell her… what?”
Candace thought for a moment. “Grr,” she groaned, frustrated. For once, she didn’t exactly know.
She turned and stormed across the stage. “I’m just gonna tell!!!” she huffed.
Phineas watched her go. Then he shrugged as the Ferbettes shuffled over to finish the song.
Chapter 4
“Mom! Mom! Mom!” Candace ran across the mall into the boutique where her mom was shopping. “Mom, you’ve got to see this!”
Linda turned from the rack of clothes.
“Let me guess,” she said, knowing that Candace was always trying to show her some crazy thing having to do with Phineas and Ferb. “Is it unbeliev—”
But Candace didn’t let her finish. Instead, she bulldozed her out of the store and across the mall, shouting, “Come on! Come on! Come on!”
She stopped, at last, just in front of the stage.
“See?” Candace said breathlessly. She pointed up at two shadows falling from behind a curtain that was about to be raised. “There they are, onstage!”
Just then, the announcer’s voice came over the PA. “Ladies and gentlemen, once again… Marty the Rabbit Boy and His Musical Blender!”
The curtain went up…
… And there stood a rabbit boy, and his blender — which was oddly Ferb-shaped.
“Come on,” Linda said, taking Candace by the arm. “We’re going to get you an eye exam.”
Meanwhile, across town Perry the Platypus was just arriving at the new, high-rise offices of Doofenshmirtz Evil, Incorporated.
“Everything is ready!” gloated the villain, rubbing his hands together as he reviewed the blueprints for his latest dastardly plan.
Ding-dong. The bell on the door of Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s office suite rang.
“Oh, what is it now?” he groaned.
He opened the door to find Perry, still wearing his undercover funny-nose-and-glasses disguise.
“Oh! Are you my new temp?” asked Dr. Doofenshmirtz, not recognizing Perry. “Well, let me get you up to speed.” He ushered in the disguised secret agent and led him past his papers and a half-eaten tuna sandwich to an impressive, state-of-the-art control room, complete with a giant blinking video map of the world.
“I know it’s a bit of a mess,” he went on. “I’m just putting the finishing touches on my latest maniacal plan. You’ll see, in a few minutes,” he explained, his voice growing more demented and evil-sounding with each word. “I will unleash an unprecedented reign of terror upon the entire—” he held a magnifying glass up to the middle of his map and enlarged a small area on the eastern coast of the United States “—tri-state area. And Perry the Platypus,” he added with glee, “will never be the wiser!”
Perry stared up at him and whipped off his disguise dramatically.
“Ah!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz gasped. “Perry the Platypus! You’re a temp?” he asked, surprised. “Are times that hard?”
But he soon realized that Perry was doing the same job he’d always done — attempting to foil the doctor’s plans.
“Sorry, Perry the Platypus,” he said, smirking, “but you are too late.”
He reached for a giant lever and pulled it. The building around them began to shake, and, within seconds, what had seemed like a regular office high-rise transformed into a thirty-story robot with long, pincer arms and feet the size of locomotives. Perry was now trapped inside a giant robot with Dr. D.
“Ha-ha-ha-ha!” laughed Dr. Doofenshmirtz as his robot rose up from the ground and began to stomp across the city.
“When it comes to havoc,” the villain crowed, “nobody wreaks it like me!”
But Perry wasn’t about to let Dr. Doofenshmirtz destroy the entire city of Danville — or the tri-state area! While Dr. D.’s back was turned, he yanked a panel out of the wall and touched two wires together. The robot turned and marched in the opposite direction.
“Whoa! Wait, wait!” the villain cried when he saw what Perry was doing. “You’re not supposed to touch that! Hey! No fair! Very clever, Perry the Platypus. I was trying to ignore you, but you’ve forced my hand.” He reached for a button over his shoulder and pressed it — hard. Instantly, mechanical arms sprang out of the wall and clamped around Perry.
“And now…” said Dr. Doofenshmirtz, as he finished reprogramming the robot to continue its destruction, “I shall relax with a nice, tasty deli platter.” He sat down and began to fill a plate with salami, olives, and cheese from a large selection in the center of the table. The robot stomped along, crushing buildings, parks, cars, and anything else in its path, while Dr. D. looked with delight at the food in front of him. It was well known that few things went with mayhem and destruction quite like a fine deli platter.
“Oh-ho-ho! Where are my manners?” He looked over at his prisoner, who was pinned to the wall. With all the charm of a gracious host, he fixed a plate for Perry.
“Here you go, Perry the Platypus,” he said, setting it down on a nearby table. “Care for some pepper?” He pulled out a pepper mill. “Just say when… ”
He leaned over Perry’s plate and began to grind away. Perry didn’t say when, so Dr. D. kept on grinding.
“Any time…” The pile of pepper grew higher and higher.
Perry surely would have smiled… if only platypuses could.